Last Straw (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #3) , livre ebook

ABRAMS BOOKS - Kinney Jeff Kinney

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228 pages

English

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The highly anticipated third book in the critically acclaimed and bestselling series takes the art of being wimpy to a whole new level. Let's face it: Greg Heffley will never change his wimpy ways. Somebody just needs to explain that to Greg's father. You see, Frank Heffley actually thinks he can get his son to toughen up, and he enlists Greg in organized sports and other "manly? endeavors. Of course, Greg is able to easily sidestep his father's efforts to change him. But when Greg's dad threatens to send him to military academy, Greg realizes he has to shape up . . . or get shipped out. Greg and his family and friends, who make the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books a must-read for middle school readers, are back and at their best in this hilarious new installment of the series, which is sure to please current fans while attracting new ones. Publishers Weekly-1/19/2009:The third book in this genre-busting series is certain to enlarge Kinney's presence on the bestseller lists, where the previous titles have taken up residence for the past two years. Kinney's spot-on humor and winning formula of deadpan text set against cartoons are back in full force. This time, Greg starts off on New Year's Day (he resolves to "help other people improve,? telling his mother, "I think you should work on chewing your potato chips more quietly?) and ends with summer vacation. As he fends off his father's attempts to make him more of a man (the threat of military school looms), Greg's hapless adventures include handing out anonymous valentines expressing his true feelings ("Dear James, You smell?), attempting to impress his classmate Holly and single-handedly wrecking his soccer team's perfect season. Kinney allows himself some insider humor as well, with Greg noting the "racket? children's book authors have going. "All you have to do is make up a character with a snappy name, and then make sure the character learns a lesson at the end of the book.? Greg, self-centered as ever, may be the exception proving that rule. Ages 8"12. (Jan.) F&P level: T

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Publié par	ABRAMS BOOKS
Date de parution	30 octobre 2012
Nombre de lectures	1
EAN13	9781613122457
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	6 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0674€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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OTHER BOOKS BY JEFF KINNEY
Diary of a Wimpy Kid Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel
The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary

PUBLISHER S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resem- blance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Kinney, Jeff. Diary of a wimpy kid : the last straw / by Jeff Kinney p. cm.
Summary: Middle-schooler Greg Heffley nimbly sidesteps his father s attempts to change Greg s wimpy ways until his father threatens to send him to military school.
ISBN 978-0-8109-7068-7 (alk. paper)
[1. Middle schools-Fiction. 2. Schools-Fiction. 3. Family life-Fiction. 4. Diaries-Fiction. 5. Humorous stories.] I. Title. II. Title: Last straw.
PZ7.K6232Dp 2009 [Fic]-dc22 2008060022
Wimpy Kid text and illustrations copyright 2009 Wimpy Kid, Inc. DIARY OF A WIMPY KID , WIMPY KID , and the Greg Heffley design are trademarks of Wimpy Kid, Inc. All rights reserved.
Book design by Jeff Kinney Cover design by Chad W. Beckerman and Jeff Kinney
Published in 2009 by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. Amulet Books and Amulet Paperbacks are registered trademarks of Harry N. Abrams, Inc.
Amulet Books are available at special discounts when purchased in quantity for premiums and promotions as well as fundraising or educational use. Special editions can also be created to specification. For details, contact specialsales@abramsbooks.com or the address below.
115 West 18th Street New York, NY 10011 www.abramsbooks.com
TO TIM

JANUARY
New Year Õ s Day You know how you Õ re supposed to come up with a list of ÒresolutionsÓ at the beginning of the year to try to make yourself a better person?
Well, the problem is, it Õ s not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I Õ m already pretty much one of the best people I know.
So this year my resolution is to try and help OTHER people improve. But the thing I Õ m finding out is that some people don Õ t really appreciate it when you Õ re trying to be helpful.
One thing I noticed right off the bat is that the people in my family are doing a lousy job sticking to THEIR New YearÕs resolutions.
Mom said she was gonna start going to the gym today, but she spent the whole afternoon watching TV .
And Dad said he was gonna go on a strict diet, but after dinner I caught him out in the garage, stuffing his face with brownies.
Even my little brother, Manny, couldnÕt stick with his resolution.
2
This morning he told everyone that heÕs a Òbig boyÓ and heÕs giving up his pacifier for good. Then he threw his favorite binkie in the trash.
Well, THAT New YearÕs resolution didnÕt even last a full MINUTE .
The only person in my family who didnÕt come up with a resolution is my older brother, Rodrick, and thatÕs a pity because his list should be about a mile and a half long.
3
So I decided to come up with a program to help Rodrick be a better person. I called my plan ÒThree Strikes and YouÕre Out.Ó The basic idea was that every time I saw Rodrick messing up, IÕd mark a little Ò X Ó on his chart.
Well, Rodrick got all three strikes before I even had a chance to decide what ÒYouÕre OutÓ meant.
Anyway, IÕm starting to wonder if I should just bag MY resolution, too. ItÕs a lot of work, and so far I havenÕt really made any progress.
Besides, after I reminded Mom for like the billionth time to stop chewing her potato chips so loud, she made a really good point. She said, ÒEveryone canÕt be as perfect as YOU , Gregory.Ó And from what IÕve seen so far, I think sheÕs right.
4
Thursday Dad is giving this diet thing another try, and thatÕs bad news for me. HeÕs gone about three days without eating any chocolate, and heÕs been SUPER cranky.
The other day, after Dad woke me up and told me to get ready for school, I accidentally fell back asleep. Believe me, thatÕs the last time I Õ ll make THAT mistake.
Part of the problem is that Dad always wakes me up before MomÕs out of the shower, so I know that I still have like ten more minutes before I need to get out of bed for real.
5
Yesterday I came up with a pretty good way to get some extra sleep time without making Dad mad. After he woke me up, I took all of my blankets down the hall with me and waited outside the bathroom for my turn in the shower.
Then I lay down right on top of the heater vent. And when the furnace was blowing, the experience was even BETTER than being in bed.
The problem was, the heat only stayed on for about five minutes at a time. So when the furnace wasnÕt running, I was just lying there on this cold piece of metal.
6
This morning, while I was waiting for Mom to be done with her shower, I remembered someone gave her a bathrobe for Christmas. So I went into her closet and got it.
Let me just say that was one of the smartest moves IÕve ever made. Wearing that thing was like being wrapped in a big, fluffy towel that just came out of the dryer.
In fact, I liked it so much, I even wore it AFTER my shower. I think Dad mightÕve been jealous HE didnÕt come up with the robe idea first, because when I came to the kitchen table, he seemed extra-grumpy.
7
I tell you, women have the right idea with this bathrobe thing. Now IÕm wondering what ELSE IÕm missing out on.
I just wish I had asked for my own bathrobe for Christmas, because IÕm sure Mom is gonna make me give hers back.
I struck out on gifts again this year. I knew I was in for a rough day when I came downstairs on Christmas morning and the only presents in my stocking were a stick of deodorant and a Òtravel dictionary.Ó
I guess once youÕre in middle school, grown-ups decide youÕre too old for toys or anything thatÕs actually fun.
8
But then they still expect you to be all excited when you open the lame gifts they get you.
Most of my gifts this year were books or clothes. The closest thing I got to a toy was a present from Uncle Charlie.
When I unwrapped Uncle CharlieÕs gift, I didnÕt even know what it was supposed to be. It was this big plastic ring with a net attached to it.
9
Uncle Charlie explained that it was a ÒLaundry HoopÓ for my bedroom. He said I was supposed to hang the Laundry Hoop on the back of my door and it would make putting away my dirty clothes Òfun.Ó
At first I thought it was a joke, but then I realized Uncle Charlie was serious. So I had to explain to him that I donÕt actually DO my own laundry.
10
I told him I just throw my dirty clothes on the floor, and Mom picks them up and takes them downstairs to the laundry room.
Then a few days later, everything comes back to me in nice, folded piles.
I told Uncle Charlie he should just return the Laundry Hoop and give me cash so I could buy something IÕd actually USE .
ThatÕs when Mom spoke up. She told Uncle Charlie she thought the Laundry Hoop was a GREAT idea.
11
Then she said that from now on IÕd be doing my OWN laundry. So basically, it ends up that Uncle Charlie got me a chore for Christmas.
It really stinks that I got such crummy gifts this year. I put in a lot of effort buttering people up for the past few months, and I thought it would pay off on Christmas.
Now that IÕm responsible for my own laundry, I guess IÕm kind of GLAD I got a bunch of clothes. I might actually make it through the whole school year before I run out of clean stuff to wear.
12
Monday When me and Rowley got to our bus stop today, we found a nasty surprise. There was a piece of paper taped to our street sign, and it said that, effective today, our bus route was Òrezoned.Ó And what that means is now we have to WALK to school.
Well, IÕd like to talk to the genius who came up with THAT idea, because our street is almost a quarter of a mile from the school.
Me and Rowley had to run to make it to school on time today. And what REALLY stunk was when our regular bus passed us by and it was full of kids from Whirley Street, the neighborhood right next to ours.
13
The Whirley Street kids made monkey noises when they passed us, which was really annoying because thatÕs exactly what WE used to do when we passed THEM .
I Õ ll tell you one reason itÕs a bad idea to make kids walk to school. These days, teachers give you so much homework that, with all the books and papers you have to carry home, your backpack ends up weighing like a hundred pounds.
And if you want to see what kind of an effect that has on kids over time, all you have to do is look at Rodrick and some of his friends.
14
Speaking of teenagers, Dad scored a pretty big victory today. The baddest teenager in our neighborhood is this kid named Lenwood Heath, and heÕs kind of like DadÕs archenemy. Dad has probably called the cops on Lenwood Heath about fifty times.
I guess LenwoodÕs parents got sick of his act, because they sent him off to military academy.
15
YouÕd think that wouldÕve made Dad pretty happy, but I donÕt think he Õ ll be satisfied until every teenager on the planet gets sent off to juvenile hall or Alcatraz or something. And that includes Rodrick.
Yesterday Mom and Dad gave Rodrick some money to buy books so he could study for the SAT s, but Rodrick spent the money on a tattoo instead.
IÕve still got a little time before I turn into a teenager. But the minute I do, I guarantee you Dad will be looking for the first chance to ship me out.
Monday For the past week or so, Manny has been getting out of bed every night and coming downst