Terrible Two's Last Laugh , livre ebook

ABRAMS BOOKS - Barnett Mac Barnett

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140 pages

English

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It's Miles and Niles's final year at Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy, and the Terrible Two have one goal: an epic prank. Something big, something brilliant, something that will leave a lasting legacy at their school. Which should be easy-peasy for these experts, especially now that their principal has gone from archnemesis to pranking protege. But their smooth sailing gets downright bumpy when they find out that the new superintendent is none other than Bertrand Barkin, their principal's father . . . and their sworn enemy. Now that Former Principal Barkin is Acting Superintendent Barkin, he has a first order of business: his long-promised revenge on the Terrible Two. This rollicking finale to the bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John will settle once and for all who-between quick wits and powerful fists-will have the last laugh.

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Publié par	ABRAMS BOOKS
Date de parution	24 décembre 2018
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781683354093
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	6 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0360€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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FOR KEV
Chapter 1
For the last time: Welcome to Yawnee Valley!
Or, if you ve never read a book in this series before, for the first time: Welcome to Yawnee Valley!
Yawnee Valley is full of hills, and Yawnee Valley is full of cows. The hills are green. The cows are various colors. Mostly the cows are black and white, but there are quite a few brown ones. Bob Barkin, a prominent local farmer, claims to own a blue cow, but other people say she is really just grayish. Here is a picture of the cow in question:

We realize this picture, rendered only in black ink, will not help you decide for yourself whether Bob s cow is blue. Sadly, we cannot afford to print these books in color. Still, we hope you enjoyed the illustration. That s a very good-looking cow!
Yawnee Valley was almost known as The Milky Pearl in America s Dairy Diadem, a motto rejected by the Yawnee Valley Council because only one member knew what a diadem was. (It s a crown.) The town is home to more cows than people-which you would know if you lived there, which you probably do not, because not many people do, and cows cannot read books. Many billions of people live on Earth, and only 9,980 of them live in Yawnee Valley.
So:
What are the odds that this little town would be home to not one but two world-class pranksters?
And what are the chances that two of Earth s billions of people should meet in Yawnee Valley and discover that they were soul matches, boon companions, true amigos, and best friends?
What is the probability that this sleepy hamlet should serve, even briefly, as the stage for one of history s great pranking duos, a pair of notorious practical jokers known as the Terrible Two?
We don t know the answers to these questions. Math was never our best subject. But the odds are long! The chances are slim! It seems very unlikely!
And yet.
Yawnee Valley is the hometown of Miles Murphy and Niles Sparks. Here they are now:

Wait. Sorry. That looks wrong. You can only see Niles in that picture. That is because they are in the middle of a prank.
Here is a picture from five minutes earlier:

Much better. Here we go.
Chapter 2
It was Sunday. It was autumn. Miles and Niles, wearing very large coats, sat side by side near the back of the number three bus. The three ran by Niles s house on Buttercream Lane, out past a pasture owned by Bob Barkin, which is where they were headed. Normally, they would have just ridden their bikes, but today they were carrying a bunch of stuff.
Beneath their coats, between the two of them, Miles and Niles had strapped to their bodies:
Three cans of livestock paint, deep purple
Three cans of livestock paint, neon green
One cardboard stencil made from a refrigerator box, polka-dot pattern
A really long measuring tape
Pruning shears
Hand tools wrapped in a leather carrying case
A Br nte 3030 Hand Reel Push Lawn Mower, disassembled.
Are you sure this paint will stick to its fur? Miles asked.
Yes, Niles said.
But are you sure sure? Miles asked.
Yes yes, Niles said. It s livestock paint. That s what it s for.
Oh, said Miles. OK.
Miles didn t know much about livestock paint, or livestock, because he hadn t grown up around cows. He had grown up a thousand miles away, in an apartment in a pink building that was close to the ocean. Two years ago, Miles and his mom had moved to Yawnee Valley. And even though it had only been two years, Miles felt like everything that had happened back then, back there in that town by the sea, had happened to somebody else. It felt like his real life was the stuff that had happened since . For Miles, it was like his story began when he met Niles Sparks, which is what it can feel like when you meet your best friend.
I thought we were going to wear sunglasses, said Niles, who was wearing sunglasses.

Oh yeah, said Miles. He got his sunglasses out of his coat and put them on.
Why are we wearing sunglasses? he asked.
Niles shrugged. Big coats. Sunglasses. It seemed like a cool look.
Miles admired their reflection in the window.
Yeah, he said. It sure is.
The bus stopped at a corner. Its doors hissed open and a woman in a cap and a navy blue uniform stepped aboard.
Tickets, she said to an old man in the front row.
The old man pulled out a bus ticket. She promptly punched it-click click!-and handed his ticket back.
Thank you, said the old man kindly.
The bus woman moved on without saying you re welcome.
Tickets.
A little girl in the next row handed over two tickets, one for her and one for her mother.
My mom said I could hold our tickets! said the little girl.

She didn t want to pay for them though! said her mother.
The little girl laughed.
Her mother laughed.
The bus woman did not laugh.
She did not even smile.
She just punched the tickets-click click!-and handed them back.
That lady is a mean person, the little girl whispered.
She might just be having a bad day, said her mother.
The little girl s mother was right. The bus woman was having a bad day. That morning, a veterinarian had told her that her cat, Joseph, was on the chubby side. Then, five minutes ago, her husband, whose name was also Joseph, had texted her that the store was out of paprika, which was unacceptable, because on Sunday nights the bus woman always made goulash. All week she looked forward to goulash. It was her second-favorite thing in the world. So yes, she was having a bad day.
But to be fair, the little girl was also right. The bus woman was a mean person. Even on good days she was like this: grim, unfriendly, perfunctorily punching tickets. Her favorite thing in the world, even above goulash, was throwing people off the bus.
Not literally throwing them, of course.
Ejecting them.
Although at night, sometimes the bus woman would smile in her sleep as she dreamed of hurling passengers through the air-old men, little girls, and mothers somersaulting over lanes of traffic and tumbling through the tall grass that grew by the side of the road.
So yes, she was a mean person.
Tickets, said the bus woman to a man who was already holding out his ticket.
In the back of the bus, Niles reached into the breast pocket of his coat.
His whole body tensed.
What s wrong? Miles asked.
Niles dug around in the pocket.
Then he dug around in all the coat s other pockets.
Then he stood up and checked the pockets of his pants.
Niles, what s wrong? Miles asked.
Niles shook his head and checked all his pockets again.
Niles, said Miles.
Miles, said Niles. He removed a single piece of paper from his breast pocket. We only have one ticket.
Chapter 3

What do you mean we only have one ticket? said Miles.
How many tickets do you have? said Niles.
None! said Miles.
Exactly, said Niles.
But you said you were going to buy tickets for both of us, said Miles.
I did! said Niles.
So why do you only have one?
I must have lost yours.
Mine! Why is the lost one mine?
What?
Maybe you lost yours , said Miles. Maybe that s my ticket.
Tickets, said the bus woman to a kid wearing headphones.
It doesn t matter whose ticket this is, said Niles, who was holding the ticket where Miles couldn t reach it. We both need to get to Bob Barkin s farm or Operation: First Contact is a bust. This is a two-man job. Plus we re each carrying half a lawn mower. We need two tickets.
OK. Miles stopped grabbing at the ticket. So what do we do?
Niles put the ticket back in his pocket. We think.
They sat and they thought while the bus woman worked her way toward the back of the bus.
Tickets.
Click click!
Tickets.
Click click!
She looks mean, said Miles.
Yeah, said Niles.
Tickets.
Click click!
Got anything? said Niles.
No, said Miles. You?
No, said Niles. But we re kind of counting on you here.
Me? said Miles. Why me?
Because you re good under pressure! said Niles. That s your whole thing!
Oh please, said Miles.
He looked down at his shoes.
What? said Niles. That s a compliment! You re good on your feet! You always get us out of tight spots!
Well that s a lot of pressure! said Miles.
Yeah, said Niles. BUT YOU RE GOOD UNDER PRESSURE!
Stop saying that! said Miles.
The bus woman had made it halfway to the boys.
Tickets.
Click click!
Tickets.
Click click!
Miles s head snapped up.
I ve got it, he said. I ll hide.
What? said Niles.
Miles was slumped down in his seat, shrugging off his coat. I ll hide, he said. Hide me.
Brilliant.
Niles helped Miles take off his coat. Then Miles got down on the floor, crawled underneath the seats in front of him, and curled up as small as he could, which was not very small, mostly because of all the pranking materials attached to his body.
Cover me, said Miles.
Niles gently arranged the coat on top of Miles.
Don t move, said Niles.
No duh, said Miles.
Niles took off his sunglasses and rested his feet on what was probably Miles s head.
Their timing was perfect.
Tickets.
The bus woman looked down at Niles.
Niles smiled back up at the bus woman.
One moment, please, ma am.
Niles reached into his breast pocket and removed two bus tickets.
He handed them over.
One is for me, and the other s for my friend.
Your friend? asked the bus woman.
Yeah, my friend down here on the floor.
Niles reached down and lifted a corner of the coat.

Hello, Miles said.
Why is he wearing sunglasses? the woman asked.
Good question! said Niles. Miles, why are you wearing sunglasses?
Miles shrugged. It seemed like a cool look.
There you have it! said Niles.
Niles smiled.
Miles smiled.
The bus woman made this face:

Look! It s hard to say for sure, but there appears to be a hint of a smile!
Click click!
She punched the tickets and handed them back to Niles.
Thank you! he said.
He placed the tickets in his pocket and pulled the coat back over Miles s face.
Thank you, said Miles, from underneath the coat.
Thank you, said the woman, and she moved on.
The coat on the floor shook