Survivors , livre ebook

Marshall Cavendish International - Abdul Rahman Eirliani

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135 pages

English

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The prevalence of child sexual abuse is difficult to determine because it is often not reported, but its effects are undeniably long-term and severe. In this powerful book, twelve survivors share their stories and the steps they took in their journey towards healing by breaking the silence. Their accounts expose the harsh realities of child sexual abuse and explain the pain it causes, while offering hope and encouragement to everyone who has been sexually abused as a child - and those who care about them. Compassionate and sensitively written, Survivors is a useful and inspiring tool for those who have been assaulted. It also equips family, friends and caregivers to help survivors move forward with courage and confidence.

Sujets

Sociologie, société et politique

Child abuse

Informations

Publié par	Marshall Cavendish International
Date de parution	14 novembre 2017
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9789814794527
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0450€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Survivors of child sexual abuse suffer in silence. They often keep the abuse a secret for many years and may have been living with those memories for a long time. They may have tried to tell others and met with resistance or felt there was no one they could trust. For these reasons, they struggle with poor self-esteem and feelings of guilt, shame and blame. However, they must know that the abuse was not their fault and they are not alone. It is never too late to disclose their experience and start the healing process from the trauma.
Professor Ho Lai Yun Director, Child Development Programme, Ministry of Health, Singapore

This engaging and touching book definitely addresses a very real and significant issue of child sexual abuse. I applaud the efforts of the authors and the survivors who shared their stories. A very worthwhile read.
Dr. Lee Cheng President, Singapore Psychiatric Association

Having worked for close to three decades with both child victims and adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I am pained at the horrors that these writers of varying ages and from different countries have had to endure during their tender years. Yet, I am in deep awe at their resilience in having survived such profound trauma, and their courage in sharing their stories so that others who are abused will have hope in knowing they are not alone. We know that such devastating betrayal in childhood has long-reaching effects on adult relationships, self-identity and mental wellness, and I send them my prayers and wish them only the best in their individual healing journeys. May they continue to find safe, stable, and trustworthy folk who will walk alongside them on the road to wholeness and recovery.
Vivienne Ng Chief Psychologist, Ministry of Social and Family Development, Singapore

2018 Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited
Text Eirliani Abdul Rahman and Daniel Fung
Published by Marshall Cavendish Editions
An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International

All rights reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Requests for permission should be addressed to the Publisher, Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited, 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196. Tel: (65) 6213 9300.
E-mail: genref@sg.marshallcavendish.com
Website: www.marshallcavendish.com/genref
The publisher makes no representation or warranties with respect to the contents of this book, and specifically disclaims any implied warranties or merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose, and shall in no event be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damage, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
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Marshall Cavendish Corporation. 99 White Plains Road, Tarrytown NY 10591-9001, USA Marshall Cavendish International (Thailand) Co Ltd. 253 Asoke, 12th Flr, Sukhumvit 21 Road, Klongtoey Nua, Wattana, Bangkok 10110, Thailand Marshall Cavendish (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd, Times Subang, Lot 46, Subang Hi-Tech Industrial Park, Batu Tiga, 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia
Marshall Cavendish is a registered trademark of Times Publishing Limited
National Library Board, Singapore Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
Name(s): Eirliani Abdul Rahman. | Fung, Daniel, author.
Title: Survivors: breaking the silence on child sexual abuse / Eirliani Abdul Rahman,
Daniel Fung.
Description: Singapore: Marshall Cavendish Editions, 2018
Identifier(s): OCN 1006822994 | e-ISBN: 978 981 4794 52 7
Subject(s): LCSH: Child sexual abuse. | Sexual abuse victims.
Classification: DDC 362.76--dc23
Printed in Singapore by Markono Print Media Pte Ltd
Image Credits:
All images courtesy of the respective contributors except page 99 (Eirliani Abdul Rahman).
This book contains personal accounts of the experiences of survivors of child sexual abuse. Some readers may find the content disturbing.
CONTENTS
Foreword
Preface
Part I: Stories
1. Sasha
It was like when he raped me, he took a part of who I was.
2. Thu Thu
But that one Barbie I had, her yellow dress had dry cum all over because we didn t have stuff to wipe things with on the mezzanine floor. It stank of semen.
3. Johannes
There were areas of my body which I did not want to touch at all. This feeling is still there. Thank you, grandmother.
4. Clara
I sleep again and wake to my 7.30 alarm clock. Clock, it is a clock.
5. Michael
Blood and shit.
6. Imran
I m done. I m all spoken out.
7. Nissah
I do not want to live in the darkness.
8. Archana
I just want to ask him, What the fuck were you thinking?
9. Don
I began to hit her fingers whenever they crept towards me during the day, her face sheepish.
10. Lucie
I wanted him to die.
11. Nikita
I started cutting myself quite regularly. I still have some scars on my thighs.
12. Alice
I live with regret because there are many things I cannot compensate for.
Part II: The Problem of Child Abuse
FOREWORD
Bernard Gerbaka
President, International Society for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (ISPCAN)
I always wanted people to read my mind so that I wouldn t be misjudged. I think that happens way too often. I feel like there s a reason for why people do the things they do; the reasons may not be legitimate or excusable, but it s still an explanation. People always look at what lies on the surface, at the obvious. They rarely try to see deeper, the cause of it all, how it all happened. You can always trace things back to the beginning and find the unseen pieces that affected people s actions. I wish my parents took more time to analyse me as a child, so they could question themselves as to why all of a sudden, I had difficulties
Lucie ( Chapter 10 )
In this book, there are many testimonies, painful stories, typical scenarios and underestimated situations. Each child has a different experience of sexual abuse, either with a stranger or with a close relative; the consequences are often dramatic and overwhelming. They are rarely about physical scars; they are always about the image of oneself, the value it is given and the support it provides.
Most importantly, those stories bring to our conscience what our competences, potentials and duties are, as a coalition of diverse and experienced professionals working with children: to prevent child abuse and protect our children!
This is the core mission of the International Society for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (ISPCAN). Connecting more than 1,200 professionals in about 120 countries for the past 40 years, ISPCAN is a board member in the Global Partnership to End Violence Against Children, aiming at working for a better world for children. ISPCAN offers training materials to professionals globally and is enriched by membership cross-culturally, to better learn about the problem and its prevention, about professional intervention, about child and family empowerment: parenting is now a critical component of our INSPIRE WHO strategies. In current difficult times for displaced children, ISPCAN sustains and strengthens the global movement for child protection and shares material for expertise and tools for leadership and advocacy, globally, in a culturally sensitive manner.
Children matter most! Within supportive families, at the centre of a child-friendly system, they define our present as we carve their future. We owe them that much.
PREFACE
When I set out to chronicle the stories of these 12 brave men and women, survivors of child sexual abuse (CSA), I had no inkling of the road ahead. I did not expect these individuals to be so gifted in storytelling: they were lyrical, they were poignant, they were happy, they were sad. I was moved, not just by their bravery in sharing such a dark period in their lives, something which has left an indelible stamp on their beings. I was moved also by their desire to reach out to other survivors, to tell them that one day they will heal, even if today seems like being submerged in the darkest of pits. I admire their courage, more so because two in particular have chosen to use their real names, Imran and Sasha. And that four of them, Imran and Sasha included, have agreed to read excerpts of their respective chapters at book readings.
When I put out a call to friends in December 2014, asking to spread the word that I was looking to interview survivors of CSA, the recommendations came in fast and furious. Every survivor in the book was either a friend, or became one via word of mouth. I feel honoured and blessed that they had chosen to tell their story now, putting aside their fears and concerns that this may trigger emotional pain. They chose instead to look to the future, to show others that their journeys illuminate the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. In the face of such fierce determination, I felt it my duty to reflect their voices in as true a light as possible, to show the multi-faceted side of each storyteller. So these stories are not all doom and gloom. There is plenty of wit, self-effacing irony, even laughter. There is peace too where there is closure. And, always, the hope that their stories will help others.
Child sexual abuse is not confined to any particular demographic segment of society: it can affect anyone, regardless of class or social status. More often, it is opportunistic, taking place because of the abuser s close proximity to the child, and it is also sometimes about the display of power and the asymmetry of power within a household. In this book, you will meet two young millennials, best friends in their early twenties, residing in Berlin: one was abused by a house help growing up, the other by a boyfriend. You will find a young lady from Singapore, born physically c