Friendshifts , livre ebook

Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc. - Jan Yager

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185 pages

English

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This is the e-book version of the 2nd edition of Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives, by sociologist, friendship expert, and coach Jan Yager, Ph.D. In addition to a fresh cover, included in this electronic version is a new introduction, an updated bibliography, resource section, and additional materials in a new Appendix. Friendshifts is divided into five parts: Part 1, "That's What Friends Are For," covers the power of friendship, definitions of casual, close, and best friends; perspective on friendship including the Great Friend and the Modern Friend Approach; the process of becoming friends, from acquaintance to friend; and friendship patterns (two-way, three-way, four and more friendships); Part 2, "Friendshifts, or How Friendship Changes Throughout Life," has chapters on childhood and the single years and marriage and friendship; Part 3, "How to Be a Better Friend," has chapters on how to maintain and improve a friendship; how to prevent a friendship from ending; and how to handle friendships that end; Part 4, "Work and Friendship," has two chapters including "How Friendship Enhances Your Career" and "Male and Female Work Friendships;" and Part 5, "Life and Friendship" has two chapters including, "The Friendship Factor in Everyday Life," on how to apply the author's friendship principles to befriending your relatives including your children, your father or mother, and your spouse (romantic partner) and "Summing Up." The book is based on the author's doctoral thesis and additional original research consisting of surveys and interviews. Friendshifts is a word Dr. Yager coined to denote how sometimes our friendships may shift throughout our lives, and even how we define a friend. Fortunately, in some instances, lifelong friendship does happen. Friendshifts explores what you can do to help a friendship to last. Even with the most enduring friendships, there may be an ending because of death. (There is a section in Friendshifts on "Coping with Endings Because of Death.") The examples, anecdotes, quotes, and studies cited throughout the book reinforce the notion that the right friends will help you to get ahead or to be happy in life, and even to live a longer life; the wrong friends can sabotage you or even get you hurt or killed.

Sujets

Sociologie, société et politique

Sociology

Psychology

Informations

Publié par	Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc.
Date de parution	01 avril 2013
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781938998591
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0500€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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FRIENDSHIFTS The Power of Friendship and How it Shapes Our Lives
2nd edition (e-book version) With a new introduction, updated bibliography, resources, and an Appendix
Jan Yager, Ph.D.
As featured on The View , the Today Show , CBS Sunday Morning , the Oprah Winfrey Show , CNN, The Early Show , and other major shows
Translated into 8 languages
"In these days of greater distance among people, many yearn for closer relationships. Too often, they don't know where to begin to asuage their loneliness. Simply and straightforwardly, Jan Yager shows them how." --Harry Levinson, Ph.D., The Levinson Institute
"Rewarding, sensible self-help manual for making, keeping and improving friendships."-- Publishers Weekly
Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc. Stamford, Connecticut
For my husband, Fred, our sons, Scott and Jeff, with thanks for their continual appreciation of my friendship research, and our grandson Bradley; my sister Eileen, my extended family, devoted friends; and the memory of my mother, father, and brother
Copyright © 2013, 1999, 1997 by Jan Yager, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, except for brief reviews, without written permission of the publisher.
Acknowledgment is made to reprint illustrations from "B.C." by permission of Johnny Hart and Creators Syndicate, Inc. and by Tom Cheney, copyright © 1997 by Tom Cheney, reprinted with his permission.
Author’s Note and Disclaimer
The purpose of this book is to provide inspiration, information, and opinions on the topics covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher and author are not engaged in rendering psychological medical, sociological, or other professional services. The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with regard to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by the opinions or information contained in this book.
Quotes in this book not attributed to a secondary source are from the original research conducted by the author, in the form of either interviews or questionnaires. If anonymity was requested, a fictitious first name has been provided; identifying details have also been changed to maintain that anonymity. However, care has been taken to preserve the integrity of each example. Typographical or content mistakes may be contained in this book. In addition, information may be out of date because it was unavailable until after the date of its completion, printing, or distribution.
Published by:
Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc., 1127 High Ridge Rd, #110, Stamford, CT 06905
http://www.hannacroixcreekbooks.com e-mail: hannacroix@aol.com
e-ISBN: 978-1-938998-58-4 (Mobi) (2013)
e-ISBN: 978-1-938998-59-1 (ePub) (2013)
Publisher’s Cataloging In Publication (Provided by Quality Books, Inc.)
Yager, Jan, 1948-
Friendshifts : the power of friendship and how
It shapes our lives / Jan Yager - 2nd ed.
p. com.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN: 1-88922-39-0 (hardcover) 978-1-889262-39-0
ISBN: 1-889262-29-3 (paperback) 978-1-889262-29-1
1. Friendship. 1. Title.
BJ575.F66Y34 1999 158.2’5
QBI96-546
INTRODUCTION TO THE E-BOOK EDITION
Since this second edition of Friendshifts was published in 1999, I’ve continued my research into friendship, publishing two books on friendship When Friendship Hurts and 365 Daily Affirmations on Friendship and two books on work relationships Who’s That Sitting at My Desk? and Productive Relationships.
What are the key developments in friendship since that time? Social media, especially Facebook, and its impact on friendship Using friendship skills to prevent bullying An increased acceptance that toxic friendships do occur Continued research and a growing awareness of the health benefits of friendship A blurring of the line between work and friendship A realization that aging presents unique friendship challenges
Let’s look at those trends over the last decade.
The positive and negative impact of social media, especially Facebook, on keeping, and finding, friends
Whether you’re on Facebook or not, with more than 1 billion members worldwide, Facebook is a phenomenon that can’t be ignored. Chances are your friends are on it and you, or someone you know, may even have been "unfriended." There are other sites that have friendship elements such as MySpace, Google+, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest and foursquare.
Here are some questions you need to consider when deciding how engaging in social media is (or might) impact on your friendships: Are you spending more time communicating with your friends online and less time on the phone or getting together? Are you finding that you have dozens and even scores of casual friends or acquaintances (or even strangers) with whom you are communicating online and your close or best friends are starting to seem more estranged from you? Are you feeling more connected or lonelier since you became active on Facebook or other social media sites, like Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, and others? Do you find you’re making new friends, but those friends tend to be over the Internet and you don’t get to meet in person very soon, if at all? Are you wondering if you should be using a different word than "friend" for the 500 or more "friends" that you are connected to through Facebook and other sites? Have you found Facebook or any of the other social media sites has dramatically hurt or helped one or more of your friendships?
In exploring the impact of social media on friendships, through e-mail communications as well as phone or in-person interviews, I have discovered that it is simply not an open and closed case of "yes," social media is "bad," or "no," it’s helpful. There are many factors to consider and, using good judgment about what you post in your "status update," is key.
For example, a friendship coaching client, a married woman in her early 40s with two young sons, shared with me that she was so upset with the way Facebook impacted on two of her friendships that she stopped visiting the site for almost a year although she eventually returned to it. What happened? In addition to some of her friends making negative comments about her husband that she found annoying, she was shocked when, on the same day, one friend and one relative posted as status updates about news that should have been handled in a more direct way especially when one friend posted that their mutual friend, a woman of just 39 with three children, had killed herself earlier that day. "I wish people would pick up the phone," she said. "Those personal events need to be shared that way still."
One of the principles about close or best friendship that still stands is that it is the exclusivity of information that is shared, as well as its timeliness, that can enhance or diminish the power of that relationship. Do this test on yourself to see if you agree: If you heard horrible or wonderful news, who is the first person you would call, e-mail or send a text message to? You will find that as you compose that list of who you would make those phone calls to, send those text messages or e-mails, you are basically revealing what your core network is.
But Facebook has a practical value; it’s faster and easier to share a post en masse with your network. Even if you’ve put together your Facebook network carefully, so it only consists of those you are truly connected to, when and what you post may still crucial. But timing counts even more if your network includes casual friends, or some business associates, acquaintances or even some strangers, since the timing of when you share, as well as what you share, becomes a much more delicate situation that you need to be aware of if you are to avoid hurting your friend or friends’ feelings.
Another trend in terms of social media has been the continued growth of friendship sites, such as www.girlfriendology , st arted by Debba Haup ert in 2006. In addition to this community of friends, the accompanying Twitter feed @girlfriendology has more than 50,000 followers. There is also a related Facebook page: www.facebook.com/girlfriendology. Another popular site is www.girlfriendcircles.com , started b y Shasta Nelson, now in 35 cities. The website facilitates friend connections in what is called a "Connecting Circle" that happens locally through conversations. Psychologist and author Irene Levine writes a blog at her extensive site, www.thefriendshipbl og.com. I am developing a new site to facilitate initiating friendships, near and far. For updates about the launch of that site, go to drjanyager.com or contact me at: yagerinquiries2@aol.com.
Preventing bullying by developing friendship skills
What parents and educators are realizing is that if they are to help school age children from the earliest years through the pre-teen and teen years as well as college students and even adults to deal with bullying it is crucial to get the word out that all kinds of bullying is wrong, whether in person or over the Internet.
Programs to help children to deal with bullying are being created like Friend Smart©, developed by Kristan Bridges, a parent as well as the chairperson for the Empower Smart program at her children’s elementary school in New York state.
Friend Smart© is in its second year of success; over 200 parents have been trained as "classroom educators." They facilitate the three parts of the bullying triad that Friend Smart© sees as necessary components for dealing with bullying: the bystander, the bully, and the victim.
Says Kristan, "Through the interactive presentation of simplified concepts and activities, the children learn the technique and demonstrate their commitment to the Friend Smart program." At the beginning of the school year, the program's taught to 500 second and third graders.
Part of the program is the BURP technique whi