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43 pages

English

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A 31-day guide towards healing. This guide was written from a broken heart as the result of an unfaithful spouse. A broken heart can be mended if we approach healing the correct way. Your heart can be broken for many reasons but it doesn't have to leave you bitter. You can rise above and live life with HOPE!

Sujets

Religion

Christianisme

Vie de famille

Relations familiales

Christian Living

Philosophie et théologie

Marriage

Love

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Publié par	eBookIt.com
Date de parution	27 juillet 2013
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781456615260
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0300€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Where Can Broken Hearts Go?

by
Bonnie Hicks

Copyright 2013 Bonnie Hicks,
All rights reserved.

Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
http://www.eBookIt.com

ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-1526-0

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

Bonnie Hicks grew up in Lakeland, Florida. She is married to Allen and will celebrate 25 years of marriage in May 2013. They have three children.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

“A broken heart gives God the greatest opportunity to work in your life; however, a broken heart can create the greatest opportunity for Satan to come and tempt you. Your vulnerability can lead to victory if you do things God’s way or to destruction if you listen to Satan.”
Dr. Jay Dennis,
First Baptist Church at the Mall, Lakeland, FL

To my wonderful children, you make my life fun.

To my family, you are simply the best.

To First Baptist Church at the Mall and my DBD connect class. Pastor Jay, thanks for preaching Psalms when I needed it the most and for the notes to assist with this writing.

To Pastor George, the College Group & Christ Community Church for praying for and supporting me.

To my dearest friend, Margaret, for holding my hand and for providing rock solid Biblical support and advice.

Barbara, Dayna, Lu & Sherry for being great listeners.

To my L.I.F.E. group friends. You have been an enormous blessing to me. I love you all.

Johna Hale, you are an amazing spirit-led counselor.

For everyone that prayed for me during this extremely difficult season in my life.

To Allen, my biggest supporter of this guide. I love you!

To God be ALL the Glory!!
Introduction
I married my husband Allen in 1988 when I was 18 years old. He was a good friend and someone I’d known since I was 14. He was attending Southeastern College and was studying to become a pastor. In his junior year , he began to question the validity of God’s call. I had also made it very clear I didn’t want to be married to anyone in the ministry. I still don’t understand why I would make that comment. Maybe for fear of what God might ask me to do or not feeling good enough. I’m not really sure. Allen entered the Air Force and we would ignore God’s call for years.

In 2007, God began to stir our hearts again about this same call. We entered full time ministry in May 2008 at a church in Winter Haven, Fl.

We moved from Lakeland, Florida to Winter Haven, Florida in the fall of 2008. This was a tough transition and our older kids really had a hard time. For people on the outside I was a happy wife and mother … a youth pastor ’ s wife who had a “normal” and loving family. On the outside, the smile masked emptiness and frustration over a deep void in my marriage. I was troubled for years knowing something was wrong with our marriage. I would say to Allen, “I feel like you’re here but you’re not really here.” And that was true. He had issues that I wasn’t aware of. Issues and addictions that kept him from “being” in an authentic, intimate relationship with me. Those same issues would drive him to do things that I still struggle to comprehend or understand.

My “9/11”, or train wreck as I’ve referred to it, happened on Dec 20 th , 2010. In an instant my entire world crumbled. I found out my husband had been unfaithful. I was betrayed by my husband, my best friend, whom I would have choked if I could have gotten my hands on him. Furious, hurt, sad and broken hearted, I clung to the love of God and the only one I knew would get me through each second…Jesus.

We had just returned home from a Christmas shopping trip in Atlanta with the college group from church. This year’s trip wasn’t like the previous trips. I felt such an extreme heaviness and sadness , but I couldn’t figure out why. We were dropping the last student off when I received a text message from one of the college sponsors. She informed me that she and my husband had been having an affair for almost a year. She explained that the college kids had caught him going into her room. The college guys were furious. They all decided to give him two days to tell me or they would do it. I realize now that God spared me from finding out in Atlanta, especially having that long trip home with the students. My life burned and crumpled to the ground that night just like the towers in New York.

The cries that came out of my body were wails. Those sounds still makes me shudder as I think about that moment. Adultery shatters a heart into thousands of pieces. Unfaithfulness has many forms in a marriage. Sometimes it is sexual relations with someone other than a spouse. It can also be a spouse addicted to pornography. I wish I could say this was an isolated affair but it wasn’t. More disclosure would come that included an affair while I was pregnant. The pain of the betrayal was excruciating.

As soon as we got home from picking up our youngest son who had been staying with my parents while we were in Atlanta, I called our pastor’s wife, Margaret. She and Pastor met us at the church. Allen was asked to resign.

As I sifted through the ashes of my life those first few weeks, I slept with my Bible, prayed and literally imagined myself crawling up in Jesus’ lap and His arms holding me tight. I felt him. His presence felt warm and I had peace.

Peace, I was taught as a child, that only God could give. The pain remained but was encompassed with indescribable peace. Peace I had read about but never really experienced. I feel like that peace was one of the biggest blessings I’ve ever received in my life. A beautiful gift. Bible verses became my thoughts. Music and prayer helped comfort me in the middle of the night. I chose to believe His promises for me.

One of the first promises I held onto was Isaiah 61:2-3.…To comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Contained in this verse was a promise that I claimed for my life, even at the time when I didn’t see how this was possible. I chose to believe His Word, the promise that He would give me beauty for ashes.

A couple of days later, I was at the church office being counseled by my new closest friend, Margaret. As I sat there, a half dozen text messages began coming to my phone. I read the first one and fell to the floor weeping and in a fetal position. I handed her the phone and she intercepted the remaining text messages. They were from the “other” woman describing details of their sexual encounters. Margaret forwarded the messages to my husband. He claimed most of the information was not true. It was now evident he needed to move out. This woman was adding to my pain and was not going away anytime soon. It was just the beginning of what I can only describe as hell on earth. I was harassed in every way possible. She left notes on my car in the middle of the night. I continued to receive text messages even after changing my phone number. She sent pictures in the mail, called me at work, stalked me and followed me to a little league baseball game to leave a letter on my car. I faced her in court seeking protection. This went on for most of the year, all while battling a broken heart and trying to heal from being betrayed. This was evil I’d never experienced before. The battle was against me, my husband, my marriage and my entire family. At some point I realized it was a battle, not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of darkness.

Although broken and angry, one of my many miracles would take place during this rough time. I wish I had written all of the miracles down on paper. God placed people in my life during the initial blow….people within my previous church that had lived through a similar journey and knew personally the pain and agony I was feeling. Although I didn‘t care at the time, they knew the pain Allen was going through as well.

As I prayed for God to lead me in decisions I knew I needed to make, and some I really wanted to make, I whole-heartedly wanted to do whatever God wanted me to do. He opened doors and I followed. I felt His leading and guidance for me to leave my home in Winter Haven and move into an apartment in Lakeland in January 2011. I know some people thought, “How could God lead you to separate from your husband?“ For me, it was a decision I believe was absolutely God-led. It was time I needed to let the fire die and the smoke clear. A time to reflect.

My six year old’s world was crumbling. Daddy was no longer living with us and as much as I tried to shield him from my agony he was aware of the turbulence in all our lives. We were packing up to move and he picked up his dad’s guitar and started singing a song about Jesus. This was one of many lessons I learned on this journey. No matter how bad things are, praising Him is a great idea.

The winter of 2011 was the worst of my life. I set up my home in a little apartment, just me and our six year old. Our older son chose to move out of state to live with relatives and our daughter was back at college in Nashville. Allen was homeless and I didn’t care.

Although bad things seemed to be happening all around me, there were some good things as well. God showed me good, over and over. I began attending a L.I.F.E. support group in Orlando with wonderful women who had been betrayed by their husbands, just like me. That pain has bound us together. God also led me to visit First Baptist Church