When the Past Won't Let You Go , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - H. Norman Wright

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77 pages

English

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Is Your Yesterday Getting in the Way of Today and Tomorrow? Release your past to God once and for all with the help of respected Christian counselor H. Norman Wright, who has worked with grief-stricken individuals in the aftermath of 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and mass shootings. Whether you've experienced a major ordeal or a series of disappointments, it's impossible to move forward when painful emotions remain unaddressed and broken relationships stay unresolved. Reclaim hope for the future by...sorting through memoriesidentifying lingering hurtsovercoming former traumasgrieving previous lossesclaiming forever freedom in Christ Leave the past behind, experience fullness of life in the present, and look forward to the future. Healing awaits.

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Philosophie et théologie

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	30 août 2016
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736966801
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0600€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Verses marked AMP are taken from the Amplified Bible, copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission. ( www.Lockman.org )
Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible , 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. ( www.Lockman.org )
Verses marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE. by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Verses marked GNT are taken from the Good News Translation in Today s English Version-Second Edition Copyright 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.
Italics in Scripture quotations indicate author s emphasis.
In the author s examples that draw on interactions with clients, their names and some details have been changed to protect confidentiality.
Cover by Lucas Art and Design, Jenison, Michigan
WHEN THE PAST WON T LET YOU GO
Copyright 2016 H. Norman Wright
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-6679-5 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-6680-1 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Wright, H. Norman, author.
Title: When the past won t let you go / H. Norman Wright.
Description: Eugene: Harvest House Publishers, 2016.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016006054 | ISBN 9780736966795 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Loss (Psychology)-Religious aspects-Christianity. | Regret-Religious aspects-Christianity. | Suffering-Religious aspects-Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV4909 .W76 2016 | DDC 248.8/6-dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016006054
All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
Contents

1. Are We Our Past?
2. Memories
3. We Are Our Thoughts
4. Emotions and Life-Especially Anger
5. Fear vs. Hope
6. Our Brain
7. Grieving Past Losses
8. Trauma and Our Past
9. Putting Past Trauma Behind Us
10. Trapped or Free? We Choose
Notes
Great Harvest House Books by H. Norman Wright
Quiet Times for Couples
Strong to the Core
Success over Stress
Truly Devoted
About the Publisher
Chapter 1
Are We Our Past?

T he past-our lives are built on it. Perhaps a better word for it is foundation. Who we are today is also built on our experiences, as well as conscious and not-so-conscious memories. Some people have used their pasts as launching pads for where they are in present life. They ve put their experiences and memories to good use. God s Word says, When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me (1 Corinthians 13:11).
It isn t necessary to dredge up every experience in our lives to move forward. But it is important to understand the connection between who we are today and the influence of our past because they are intertwined. As a seasoned counselor and crisis responder, I ve seen many people who left parts of themselves behind because they d served their usefulness. At the same time, other portions of their pasts were still influencing, dictating, or controlling their present life-and not always in positive ways. Many of those I see lack the tools to change or aren t aware of how much their pasts are robbing them of a vibrant present and future.
When we don t move on from the past, our lives might be stunted or stuck, which means we re living as though the past is our present and our future. This is not as it was meant to be emotionally or spiritually. If the past is dictating today or tomorrow, it may be our own doing or we are hanging on to people and significant life experiences. The past was never designed to limit our present and future, yet this is exactly what has happened to many. To cast off negative anchors and sail forward, we need to consider three factors-our past, our present, and our future-and how they interconnect. As believers, we re called to grow in Christ by stepping forward in faith, but sometimes our past acts like a restraining anchor. Anchors have their place and can be useful, but they need to be the right kind of anchor.
One of the small ponds I fish in has massive weed growth as summer approaches. A bell-shaped anchor works well since it doesn t catch the weeds. An anchor shaped like a grappling hook can gather up to twenty pounds of weeds. There have been times when it was almost impossible to lift that anchor. I was stuck.
There are different responses to the past. Some believe it is of little consequence. It has no influence or power in current life. The problems of the past have nothing to do with our choices today. What happened back then has no impact on today or tomorrow. They give it little if any regard in their life. Problems stay in the past and have no influence on today.
Others believe the past is everything, and we should examine every experience under a microscope to get all the nuances. Any failure or problems today can be attributed to the past. Our past wounds haven t totally healed, so they impact our present and our future. We re driven by our past and our need to confront it. Today s poor choices are not our fault. Consider these two possibilities in more detail:
Some people will never get beyond the pain from their past. It will wreak havoc in their personal and professional lives because they will keep cursing their pain, and it will keep cursing them back. They will choose to believe they are inseparably attached to their past without realizing they are, in fact, making a choice to hold on.
They will hold on to it in one of two ways. Either they will give in to it with a self-loathing that ensures perpetual misery and failure, or they will wage an angry and desperate war against it in an effort to bury its devastation in self-denial. Either way, they will never surrender the past pain. They will hold on to the idea that they shouldn t have had to go through the pain and that life is not fair. And they will, therefore, miss out on the brand-new ending that could in fact be theirs.
Then there s a group of people who will have taken a different path. They will realize their past isn t really their past. They will come to grips with the fact that their past pain is still impacting them and choose to rise above it They will surrender their pain. Instead of ignoring or denying it, they will choose to be emptied of it, and in a glorious miracle, God will actually use the pain of their past to help redeem others, in effect, allowing them to find purpose in the pain.
This choice isn t easy. You have to choose to do something you think you can t do. It requires a resolve that can only be found deep within your soul. But this choice does nothing less than determine your destiny.
It s the choice to let go of your desire to have life go the way you planned it. It s the choice to find hope in your hurt. It s the choice called surrender.
There is strength in letting go. There is a radical power in surrender. 1
I ve talked with those who quote Paul s statement in Philippians 3:13-14: Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of [righteousness]. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. They focus on the phrase forgetting what is behind as meaning we need to do just that. Forget it. Don t waste time on it. Move on. We don t need to give it any attention-except that s not what Paul meant. Paul was simply saying that none of his former righteous deeds could be used as reasons he should be accepted into God s family on his own merit. Salvation is based on God s grace. His former actions were not the basis for his salvation. That s the part of the past he was choosing to forget.
Jimmy Evans describes it this way:
The Apostle Paul was able to forget the past, not because of his desire to be an emotional martyr or his ability to erase his memory. Rather, he could forget his past because it was reconciled in Christ. The people who had harmed him had been forgiven; the events of his upbringing were dealt with, and every other significant thing in his past had been successfully resolved by the power that only Jesus Christ could give. 2
The past is not the past until it has been reconciled in Christ. We have to face the past to confront the present. It isn t easy; it can be painful. Many people are reluctant to face the unacceptable, as Dr. David Hart describes:
Many people fear that if they face the unaccept