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Publié par | AuthorHouse |
Date de parution | 25 juin 2023 |
Nombre de lectures | 0 |
EAN13 | 9798823001854 |
Langue | English |
Poids de l'ouvrage | 2 Mo |
Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0500€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.
Extrait
THE Path LESS CHOSEN
A Life Lost and A Life Found
MATTHEW HARRISON
AuthorHouse™
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.authorhouse.com
Phone: 833-262-8899
© 2023 Matthew Harrison. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 06/23/2023
ISBN: 979-8-8230-0186-1 (sc)
ISBN: 979-8-8230-0185-4 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2023903298
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
C ontents
Dedication
Preface
Childhood
Divorce
New Family
New Home
School Problems
Adoption
Teenage Years
Mission
Life After Mission
Marriage and Addiction
County Jail and Trial
Prison and New Trial Motion
Pandemic
Patience In Suffering
Conclusion
Glossary of Terms used in the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-Day Saints that may be unfamiliar to the reader
D edication
This book is dedicated to my children and family. Without their love and support, this book would not have been possible. I love you all more than words can express.
Matthew Harrison
P reface
I knew it would be a challenge to write a history of my life from prison. I did not have a computer or word processor, only a tablet that allowed me to send emails to my family who helped me with editing and grammar. Add my lack of writing experience, and I knew that I would need the Lord’s help if I were to write those things that would be of greatest worth and importance.
My goal in writing my history was twofold: First, I wanted to share with others the circumstances that took place in my life—the trials and challenges I faced—because none of those things were unique to just me. By writing my experiences, I hoped to help others who will or are going through similar difficulties learn from my mistakes and avoid the painful and destructive outcomes I faced. Second, I wanted to share the miracle that took place to bring me back to the Lord and His church. As lost as I was, I feared there was no way I could ever come back to the church. All the mistakes that I made over the years had me feeling that not even God could forgive me for the sins I had committed. But through a series of events over time that were orchestrated by the Lord, I was humbled to the point that I was ready to do whatever was necessary to come back.
It was in the midst of this anguish I felt for sins committed that the Lord softened my heart and led me to read my patriarchal blessing given 21 years before. In that blessing I was reminded that my family and the Lord loved me, that repentance was possible, and that all hope was not lost. I felt a powerful witness that day that my Heavenly Father loved me dearly and wanted me to come back to Him. I chose with all my heart to do just that; and in that moment, my entire life changed. It did not immediately change the outcome because the Lord will not remove the consequences of choices made. But with His help, I was able to get through some of the hardest trials and adversity I have ever experienced.
While in the midst of these difficulties, I also had some of the most powerful and sacred experiences I had ever had to that point in my life. I gained a strong testimony of the reality that God truly lives and that through His Atonement, I could change my desires and my heart to become a new person. My hopes and prayers are that when others read about my experiences, they will see just how much the Lord has blessed and directed my life—not just while in prison but also during other times when I was protected and blessed. It was the Lord who enabled me to get to this point, to be spared from harm, and also to receive the necessities I could not provide for myself. The Lord blessed me in ways that were miraculous and could only be explained by divine intervention. These are the things I wanted to share because they show how God’s hand has always been present in my life.
Perhaps more importantly, that as bad as I thought I was at times, the Lord never gave up on me and provided a way for me to come back if I put my trust in Him with all my heart. So, I decided that I would focus more on the things that were most impactful and had the greatest effect on my life because those things set the stage for what I experienced later in my life.
I was surprised at first how difficult it was to go back to my childhood years and recount the experiences that were so traumatic and painful. Though I had many happy memories in my formative years, the more painful and difficult memories were the ones that had the most dramatic effect on what would happen later in my life because of unresolved feelings and anger. Though I was not aware at that time how traumatized I was, and would yet be, the effects of those early experiences and feelings were not easily forgotten or overcome. Even as I write about them now, tears well up in my eyes as I relive those experiences once again. Being an inexperienced writer, I struggled to express my feelings and emotions in coherent ways when I wrote about my childhood. I felt I could never quite express the emotions I was feeling at that time, as well as the intensity of the pain I felt.
Reliving those difficult moments in my childhood, I could not help but think of the trauma my imprisonment had on my children. I will never forget my daughters’ screams as officers came to our home and arrested me. Knowing that I was the cause of so much pain and suffering in their lives is a painful reminder of how much my choices impacted them. The very thing I swore I would not do to them, I ended up doing, just as my Father did to me. This history, I hope, will provide for them some answers and some hope that no matter how difficult their lives are, they can overcome their feelings, pain, and circumstances to be happy and successful.
The key to rising above feelings, pain, and circumstances is to follow the only path that can lead to successful outcomes—the Savior. He has the power to heal broken hearts, to heal the innocent who did no wrong but were hurt by the choices of others, and to overcome any obstacles or pain in our lives. After all that I experienced in my life, He was able to help me overcome challenges against all odds. I know that all who believe and turn to the Lord can be healed. That is the message I hope people receive as they read about my life and how I was able to turn it around. Though my life was never easy, and I blamed others for many years for my mistakes, it was only when I turned to the Lord and accepted personal responsibility that the Lord helped me to change and overcome my weaknesses.
The greatest benefits that I and hopefully others will take away from reading about my life and the experiences I had is the reality that our choices matter—every single one of them. Also, that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real and that it has the power to change and help those who use it to become new people. No matter what your circumstances in life, you can overcome them by trusting in the Lord and keeping his commandments. This will enable Him to bless you with the strength and determination to overcome all obstacles you face. I know that the Lord lives, that He loves us, and that all I have experienced has brought me to this knowledge. I sincerely hope that those who read my story will have the desire to gain that knowledge for themselves also and that it will change their lives as it has mine.
C hildhood
OVERVIEW
My childhood was pretty typical of life growing up in the 80s. We lived in a large Latter-day Saint community and our neighborhood was filled with children my age. I had three brothers—two older and one younger—and an older sister. My family and I were all active members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was involved in scouting and sports, and also enjoyed the outdoors where I hunted with my brothers and Father.
I was always out being active or jumping from trees or on trampolines; consequently, I became a frequent visitor to the emergency room for stitches in various body parts. I think at one point, I had to get stitches three times in the same spot on the back of my head. As a result of my frequent injuries, the emergency room hospital staff knew me on a first-name basis and would ask what I had done this time!
Summers were fun because I loved being outdoors and playing with friends or catching insects or reptiles. In wintertime we would go sledding, build snow forts, and have snowball fights. But that fun, carefree life changed drastically at age nine as I became aware of and witnessed firsthand some of the marital problems my parents were having. Little did I know I would be right in the middle of some of the difficulties that ended my parents’ relationship.
EARLY CHOICES BRING PROBLEMS
All relationships have their ups and downs, and my parents’ relationship was no exception. As a child, I never realized my parents had some significant issues they had been dealing with long before I was born. It was n