Reflections of a Grieving Spouse , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - H. Norman Wright

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131 pages

English

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When author and counselor H. Norman Wright's beloved wife, Joyce, passed away, he grieved the loss of his partner and the life they shared. Even in his state of sorrow, he knew he had to find a way to live without Joyce, to forge a hopeful path, and to move forward in God's grace and strength.With vulnerability and emotional insight, Norm shares from his deeply personal journey and illuminates the way back to living when someone you love is gone. Readers who have lost their spouse will discover support and guidance as theywork through anger, including anger at God, to ease toward God's peacemove away from denial and "what ifs" to move forwardallow memories to provide comfort without getting stuck in the pastcreate a healthy new, daily routine to care for themselvesturn their new identity and life over to God's leading and mercyThis tender and inspirational book will help any reader who is grieving or who is walking alongside a grieving friend.

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Philosophie et théologie

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 juillet 2009
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736933995
Langue	English

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible , Copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.
Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Italics in Scripture references indicate author s emphasis.
Harvest House Publishers has made every effort to trace the ownership of all poems and quotes. In the event of a question arising from the use of a poem or quote, we regret any error made and will be pleased to make the necessary correction in future editions of this book.
Cover photo Pat Powers and Cherryl Schafer / Stockbyte / Almay
Cover by Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota
REFLECTIONS OF A GRIEVING SPOUSE Copyright 2009 by H. Norman Wright Published by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97402 www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Wright, H. Norman. Reflections of a grieving spouse / H. Norman Wright. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 978-0-7369-2654-6 (pbk.) 1. Bereavement-Religious aspects-Christianity. 2. Grief-Religious aspects-Christianity. 3. Widows-Religious life. 4. Widowers-Religious life. 5. Wright, H. Norman. I. Title. BV4908.W75 2009 248.8 66092-dc22 2008049431
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 / BP-SK / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
In memory of Joycelin Faith Wright and Carrie Elizabeth Oliver.
Life is full of enriching experiences, and marriage holds the potential for the greatest of them. My close friend Gary Oliver and I were blessed by wives who enhanced, enriched, and changed our lives. Joyce and Carrie taught us how to live life as well as how to embrace death.
Contents
Joy in My Life
1. The Disruption of Our Life Together
2. The Onslaught of Grief
3. Time and Your Future
4. Am I Normal?
5. The Other Anniversaries
6. Caution-Fragile
7. Losses
8. Why?
9. Why Grief?
10. Empty
11. No Longer Here
12. Alive in Your Memory
13. A New Relationship
14. Never Enough
15. What You Remember
16. You re Still Alive
17. Memories of Days Past
18. Changing We to I
19. What Your Loved One Wore
20. Reasons for Grief
21. Feelings of Grief
22. Anger
23. Angry at Whom?
24. A Closer Look at Anger
25. Fears
26. Depression and Grief
27. Avoiding Pain
28. I Believe
29. Relearning Your Life
30. Not Quite Myself
31. The Choice of Recovery
32. A Look at Me
33. The Gift of Writing
34. Expressions of Grief
35. When You Seem Stuck
36. Unresolved Grief
37. The Last Time We Were Together
38. The Struggle of Grief
39. Take Time
40. Moving On
41. Making Amends
42. Letting Go
43. Fighting Your Grief
44. Helping Others Help You
45. Remembrance
46. Surprises from God
47. What I d Like to Say
48. Caregiver-A Privilege
49. Anticipatory Grieving
50. Wondering
51. Who Am I Now?
52. The Importance of Goodbye
53. Saying Goodbye
54. Transitions
Personal Stories of Grief Recovery
I Don t Understand
Surprised by Grief
Rebuilding the Egg
Grief Recovery Evaluation
Notes
Other Harvest House Books by H. Norman Wright
J OY IN M Y L IFE
T his is a book I never planned to write or ever even wanted to write. We re all aware death will invade our lives at some time, but it s never to our liking. The loss of a beloved partner who has been by your side for a short time or for almost half a century, as in my case, creates a Grand Canyon-sized hole in your life. The present and future are changed drastically.
I m thankful that my wife, Joyce, was such an integral part of my existence for so long because her presence enriched my life and helped me become a different-a better-person. Let me tell you about her.
Joyce often went by Joy, which was so fitting because she brought happiness into so many lives. Her life reflected the qualities mentioned in Colossians 3:12: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. As she taught the people around her much about living through her life, she also taught us through the dying process as she embarked on her next journey and entered her true home.
Beginning at a young age, Joyce loved music and art. She studied violin and sang in various choral groups. Perhaps the highlight of her singing was being in the choir for the 1985 Billy Graham Crusade held in Anaheim, California. What most never knew was that she was also a gifted artist. Joyce never really had the opportunity to develop this potential, but what paintings she completed were of great quality.
Joyce attended Westmont College in Santa Barbara, California, for the purpose of taking just the classes she was interested in. But what she really discovered there was me! She returned to Glendale, where she got a job with Lawry s Foods. She attended Hollywood Presbyterian Church and was active in the college-age group. That was when we began to date seriously, and a year later we were married in the chapel.
We had two children Joyce dearly loved: Sheryl and Matthew. Our son was severely mentally retarded and died at the age of 22 in 1990. Although the circumstances were difficult, Joyce managed with flying colors. She did everything possible to give Matthew a fulfilling life. In turn, Matthew enriched our lives and our ministry. We loved him.
Our daughter, Sheryl, was such a blessing. She and Joyce had a very close relationship and ministered to each other in times of need. And when Sheryl blessed Joyce and me with a lovely granddaughter, our delight knew no bounds. Joyce loved spending time with little Shaelyn.
Today Sheryl and Shaelyn continue to bring joy and comfort and companionship into my life. We spend as much time together as possible as we play with the dogs, pet the cat, go fishing, and talk.
Joyce s life was also characterized by her heart of love, service, grace, and care for others. On one hand she was known as being quiet and reserved when in a group, but she became very personable and caring when ministering to people one-on-one. The best word to describe who she was is gracious. Many have said they could confide in her because she was someone they could trust. One person commented:
Joyce s eyes were always sparkling. She was always smiling and had some encouraging words to say. It didn t matter if we talked about what the choir had just sung, a men s ministry activity I had coming up, or a fish Norm had caught that week. I always came away encouraged and blessed from having talked to Joyce.
One of the cards I received after her memorial service said, Joyce Wright: Humble caregiver. Joy was a hero. She was a servant and was a joy to anyone who passed by her life. When I think about this lovely lady who now walks the streets of heaven I think of her entry to her celestial home-meeting her Savior who said, Well done, my faithful servant. This thought was reiterated by so many people.
Joyce also had an adventurous side, which came out whenever there was a disaster nearby. She was always ready to lend a hand and dig in to help those in need. She also enjoyed fishing-especially with me. She delighted in the simple pleasures and events of life and had a wonderful sense of humor.
Her love for Jesus Christ, her personal Savior, radiated around her. Her life was devoted to serving him in whatever way possible. She was an encourager of others and a woman of prayer. She reflected the influence of her godly mother, who was also a strong prayer. So often Joyce put aside her own needs and desires to minister to others. For almost 50 years she and her best friend, Fran, would pray together over the phone for family members, friends, and others in need. Joyce loved God s Word and shared what she learned with others.
I love Joyce. One day I ll say again, Hello, Joyce.
H. Norman Wright
1
T HE D ISRUPTION OF O UR L IFE T OGETHER
I do. Two words, that s all. But they signify the beginning of a committed relationship designed to last throughout life on earth. They are much anticipated words, and their expression to one another is filled with joy. Often they are said with a definite or emphatic tone because they re cementing the conclusion of the courtship journey and marking the entrance to the marital path.
Two little words but very significant. Throughout the marriage there will be many couplets of words that become standard: See you. I m home. Food ready? What s up? Love you. Let s go. Ready yet? These are all part of an ongoing relationship, and they connect two people together.
But there comes a time when words disconnect a relationship or signify with sadness it s over. As some words carry the feeling of joy or delight, others denote sorrow. When these are expressed they take the place of countless others now silenced and never to be heard again. Silence can be eerie, heavy, overwhelming. I heard it at Ground Zero in New York after the September 11, 2001 destruction. I heard it on the streets of destroyed homes in the Ninth Ward in New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. Now I hear it every day in my home. There are words I ll never hear again from Joyce, and words I ll never say again to her. What I would give for one more conversation with