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Baker Publishing Group - Chip Ingram

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153 pages

English

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Description

Well-known teacher and speaker Chip Ingram teams up with psychologist and author Dr. Becca Johnson in this encouraging and practical book, showing how many emotions lead to anger, and many emotions follow from it. Their message is clear: as we deal with our anger, we deal with the primary cause for all emotions that destroy.Ingram and Johnson help readers identify whether they are spewers, leakers, or stuffers. Readers also learn the difference between good and bad anger, how to gain control of their anger, and how to direct it toward constructive ends. The authors cover solid biblical principles as well as the psychological aspects of our emotions, showing readers how they can actually be constructive tools used by God to transform lives and relationships. Counselors, pastors, and individual Christians will find this book a no-nonsense tool for handling destructive emotions in a healthy way. Now available in trade paper.

Sujets

Philosophie et théologie

Popular psychology

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 mai 2009
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441204141
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0490€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

© 2009 by Chip Ingram and Becca Johnson
Published by Baker Books a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.bakerbooks.com
Published in association with Yates & Yates ( www.yates2.com ).
Paperback edition published 2010 ISBN 978-0-8010-7239-0
Ebook edition created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owners. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-0414-1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ®. NIV ®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.© Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture marked NRSV is taken from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked TNIV is taken from the Holy Bible, Today’s New International Version TM Copyright © 2001 by International Bible Society. All rights reserved.
Chapter 15 contains material adapted from Men’s Work Facilitator’s Guide: A Complete Counseling Plan for Breaking the Cycle of Male Violence, copyright 1994, used by permission of the author, Paul Kivel. Further resources available at www.paulkivel.com .
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
“I loved this book! From the searing first sentence, it delivers on its promise to lay bare the common failings of the human heart. With great wisdom and practical help, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy unmasks the scary and oftentimes mysterious reality of anger, puts it under a literary microscope, and helps us deal with anger in a healthy way. It would be a wonderful sermon series, small group study, or husband/wife weekly devotional.”
Gary Thomas , author of Sacred Marriage and Holy Available
“Practical . . . practical . . . practical! That’s what makes this book so powerful. For anyone who has struggled . . . is struggling . . . or will struggle with the stranglehold of anger, this book is a must-read. Whether you or someone you love is a ‘Spewer,’ ‘Stuffer,’ or ‘Leaker,’ you’ll find help and hope on every page.”
June Hunt , founder and CEO, Hope for the Heart; author of Counseling through Your Bible Handbook
“Thank you, Chip and Becca, for giving us this timely resource. It is practical, biblical, and compellingly engaging. Overcoming Emotions That Destroy not only gives us the what and why of anger but it also shows us how to deal with this powerful emotion. My only complaint is that you didn’t write it twenty years ago!”
Dr. Crawford W. Loritts Jr. , speaker and author of Leadership as an Identiy
Contents Cover Title Page Copyright Page Endorsements Acknowledgments Part 1: Introduction 1. Hope for Our Anger 2. Understanding Our Anger Part 2: The Many Faces of Anger 3. Why We Respond the Way We Do 4. Spewers 5. Stuffers 6. Leakers Part 3: Why We All Struggle with Anger 7. Anger Is a Secondary Emotion 8. The Tip of the Iceberg 9. Hurt from Unmet Needs 10. Frustration from Unmet Expectations 11. Insecurity from Threatened Esteem Part 4: Turning Anger from a Foe to a Friend 12. The Anger ABCDs 13. Anger Is a Choice Part 5: God’s Anger Management Plan 14. Step 1: Be Quick to Hear 15. Step 2: Be Slow to Speak 16. Step 3: Be Slow to Anger Part 6: Learning to Stop Anger before It Starts 17. Minimize Stress 18. Maximize God Part 7: How to Be Good and Mad 19. Express Anger 20. Express Anger Appropriately 21. Resolve Anger 22. Resolving Deep Anger 23. Anger’s Higher Purpose Appendix: Dealing with God’s Anger at Us Notes About the Author Back Ads
Acknowledgments
Thank you to the many people who have shared both painful and victorious stories of their struggles with unwanted and seemingly uncontrollable emotions.
Thank you to my wonderfully supportive husband, Lloyd, and to my amazing children, who have put up with my anger more than I’d like to admit.
Thank you to Chip for your challenging, down-to-earth, inspiring teaching. Thank you also for walking in integrity and encouraging others to do so as well.
We would like to thank the many people who helped make this book a reality, from audio CDs to editing the written efforts to the published book. Thank you!
And finally, to the many who suffer from anger (their own or someone else’s), may this book bring hope, help, and healing. We all hope this book will help both others and ourselves deal with anger in ways that honor God.
Dr. Becca Johnson
I would like to thank Dr. Becca Johnson for her initiative, hard work, and expertise as a psychologist, counselor, and published author. It was a privilege to team up with someone of her caliber, spiritually and educationally.
I would like to thank my good friend, Chris Tiegreen, for his editorial excellence and the Baker team of Chad Allen, Robert Hand, and Cheryl Van Andel for their cooperation and energy in both editorial and design.
This is my tenth book and there would not have been one without Yates and Yates. Thank you, Curtis and Sealy, for believing in me and the message God has given me.
Finally, a special thank you to my family for letting me share so many real stories of how God’s grace has met us and grown us through our journey of Overcoming Emotions That Destroy .
Chip Ingram

1
Hope for Our Anger

If you let anger get the best of you, it will reveal the worst of you.
H er voice was trembling. From the moment she came on the air, I knew this was no ordinary call, and I would soon learn it was no ordinary story. I adjusted my earphones in the studio to get a clearer signal.
Between sobs of remorse and tears of joy, this young mother revealed a cycle of angry outbursts and physical abuse that had left her children recoiling and her overwhelmed with guilt and shame. But unlike the numbing headlines of today’s newspaper or the bizarre tales of talk radio, this woman’s story had a happy ending. She was calling to say thank you. She had learned to bring her anger under control; she wasn’t yelling at her children anymore, and the physical abuse had stopped.
Her gratitude was in response to a series of messages titled “Overcoming Emotions That Destroy.” Her voice quickened with excitement as she shared key insights that God had used to transform her and her family.
As I drove home later that afternoon, it dawned on me just how pervasive this problem of anger is, along with all its accompanying emotions, such as guilt, shame, and frustration. I hadn’t given it much thought until then, but as I crawled along on the crowded expressway, I distinctly remembered a conversation I’d had after teaching the same material earlier in the year.
A well-dressed, distinguished man with a deep tan, white hair, and gold watch was sitting with his attractive wife in church one Sunday. At the close of the service, he grabbed my elbow as I was leaving the auditorium. He directed me through the crowded room to a semiprivate nook and then broke into one of the biggest grins I’ve ever seen. I recognized his face as a regular at our church, but I didn’t know him personally. Leaning toward my left ear, he said, “I can’t tell you how much this teaching series is helping me. I’m an exploder. I’ve vomited my anger on everyone around me for twenty-five years. I’ve wrecked relationships, almost ruined my marriage, and hated myself in the process. I’ve tried everything and had all but given up. But last week when you said that anger is a secondary emotion and that it’s a symptom, not the real problem, the lights came on! It was one of the most amazing insights of my entire life.”
As I strained to hear this man’s story over the noise of the room, I couldn’t help but see his wife taking notice of our conversation. With my ear tilted to hear him more clearly and my eyes looking back toward his wife, I caught a quick smile from her that seemed to say, “I never dreamed he’d change, let alone that he’d be talking with you about something that has been so carefully hidden from the public for so many years.”
Reflecting further, my mind began an informal inventory of letters, incidents, and private conversations I’ve had since this “Overcoming Emotions That Destroy” series was presented at our church and on the radio.
I recalled a letter from a middle-aged woman that about knocked me off my feet. She was not the kind of person you’d expect to have significant, unresolved issues swirling in her soul for years. But after describing some deep disappointments with her husband and extended family, she revealed a long, dark struggle with depression. Counseling and medication had helped her cope, but she was never far from feeling worthless and discouraged. She had experienced a breakthrough, however, as she listened to the teaching tapes related to anger. Even though she had heard that 90 percent of depression could be related to unresolved anger, she assumed that didn’t apply to her. She was, in fact, very quiet and compliant and had never yelled or exploded at anyone. Anger certainly was not a problem area for her or so she thought. What she learned through the series, however, was that she was a “Stuffer.” She had been taught that anger was wrong and had learned to “bottle it up,” to shove it down deep inside. She thought that stuffing her anger was a godly and proper re