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190 pages

English

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Be Prepared For Your Next Encounter With The Bully In Your Family Or Church…In this long-awaited sequel to Narcissistic Predicaments, award-winning author Sister Renee Pittelli not only teaches more lessons on handling abusive birth-families, but expands the discussion to include abusive church families as well, with invaluable insights and information about phony “Christians” and toxic churches, the biblically in-error “Christian” abuser and the ignorant, rude and presumptuous Spiritual Bully. Narcissistic Confrontations is chock full of eye-opening revelations and helpful strategies, including: *The Narcissist’s 35 Rules of Engagement *12 Examples of juvenile behavior and mentality in narcissistic confrontations *All Narcissists Are Liars, and the things they lie about *Every interaction with a narcissist is a competition, and only the narcissist is allowed to win *The 3 Basic Principles of Selective Amnesia *3 Things that prove “I Can’t Help It” is a lie *What happens when you go to counseling with a narcissist *8 Ways to make a narcissist prove he’s really changed *The Business Deal with the hidden clauses *Making abuse sound like a good thing *How to spot and handle a child of Satan who is pretending to be a child of God *When they sense they’re losing their grip on you, 5 Surprising Tactics they use to keep you attached *37 Typical Steps in the decline and fall of our abusive relationships *How to handle the Silent Treatment, ultimatums, being “second fiddle,” getting disowned, and other narcissistic “punishments” *The Narcissistic Nuclear Meltdown *4 Secret Ways to “change” a narcissist *How to set a trap for the “spy” in your midst, and what to do with her once you figure out who she is *14 Promises to make to ourselves that will help us recognize toxic people and choose healthy relationships from now on *Luke 17:3 Ministries’ Abuser/Narcissist/Psychopath FAQ. In Narcissistic Confrontations you will learn about “normal” conversations with narcissists versus confrontations, why narcissists manipulate, how they use favors you do for them to ruin your reputation, narcissistic projection, narcissistic group dynamics, recognizing toxic people and groups, some clarification on what “lacking empathy” really means, how to tell if listening to someone else’s advice is a healthy or unhealthy pattern for you, what happens when narcissists team up with each other or with psychopaths, how to tell if it’s really “old age” or a “mental illness” that makes someone abuse you, the difference between “judging” and “rebuking,” Nonsense Statements and other abusive battle tactics, what happens in our relationships when we start changing, and much, much more. Narcissistic Confrontations prepares you for battle with family and church narcissists, so that you will no longer be caught off-guard, blindsided and manipulated by the wiles of the evil among us. Written with humor, compassion and wisdom, and filled with empowering scriptural references, this book provides loads of effective strategies and useful step-by-step directions, as well as support, validation, peace and freedom for those who find themselves targeted by ungodly birth-families and church families.

Sujets

Religion

Christianisme

Christian Living

Relationships

Philosophie et théologie

Family

Informations

Publié par	Outskirts Press
Date de parution	06 mars 2015
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781478755548
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0500€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book.

Narcissistic Confrontations
A Biblical Guide To Your Abusive Family And Church Family’s Battle Tactics, Covert Operations, And Nuclear Meltdowns
All Rights Reserved.
Copyright © 2013 Sister Renee Pittelli
v3.0

Cover Photo © 2013 JupiterImages Corporation. All rights reserved - used with permission.

Scripture quotations identified KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Pertaining to Scripture quotations identified NKJV:
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Pertaining to Scripture quotations identified NIV:
Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Pertaining to Scripture quotations identified NASB:
“Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.”

Pertaining to Scripture quotations identified NLT:
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 9781478755548

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013907819

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PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
***Disclaimer***

By reading this book, you certify that you understand and agree that the author is not a professional counselor, but just an ordinary woman who loves the Lord and hopes that her experiences and testimonies can be used to help others. Professional counseling with your pastor or therapist and prayer for wisdom from the Lord is strongly urged before making any decisions concerning your own personal relationships. Whatever the author writes is strictly her own personal opinion and testimony and not intended to give or offer any advice. The ideas in this book are not intended to take the place of professional counseling. The testimonies discussed in this book are composites of many different testimonies. All names and identifying details mentioned have been changed, and any resemblance to any locations, organizations, persons or characters, real or fictional, living or deceased, is entirely coincidental and unintentional. Therefore, the author and the publisher accept no responsibility for any inaccuracies or omissions and specifically disclaim any liability, loss, risk, damage, or injury, personal or otherwise, caused directly or indirectly, by the contents of this book.
Dedicated with Love and Gratitude to
My Inspiration and Role Model for Ideal Motherhood
My Cousin Rose
Beloved Family Matriarch
Who Raised Her Beautiful Family With Love, Devotion and Selflessness
And Who Always Had Some Love, Encouragement and Thoughtful Advice Left Over For Me
Who Was Treasured All The Days Of Her Long and Wonderful Life
By Her Children, Grandchildren, Great-Grandchildren
And All Who Knew Her
Thank You, Rose
You Were Too Humble To Realize How Much You Blessed Me
I Miss You Every Day
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION: THE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKE OR DIVORCE
PART 1: PREPARING FOR WAR: GETTING TO KNOW YOUR ENEMY AND FIGURING OUT WHAT YOU’RE UP AGAINST
CHAPTER 1: THE NARCISSIST’S 35 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT,AND SOME CLARIFICATION ON WHAT “LACKING EMPATHY” MEANS
CHAPTER 2: CONVERSATIONS WITH NARCISSISTS
CHAPTER 3: NARCISSISTIC MANIPULATION
CHAPTER 4: PROJECTION AND THE NARCISSIST/FREELOADER/CON-ARTIST
CHAPTER 5: NARCISSISTIC GROUP DYNAMICS, AND ONE WAY TO TELL IF A FAMILY OR CHURCH IS TOXIC: LOOK FOR THE ONE WHO STAYS AWAY
CHAPTER 6: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO NARCISSISTS PAIR UP, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A NARCISSIST PAIRS UP WITH A PSYCHOPATH, AND WHICH COMBINATION IS “BETTER” FOR US?
CHAPTER 7: ALL NARCISSISTS ARE LIARS
PART 2: NARCISSISTIC BATTLE TACTICS: NONSENSE STATEMENTS, SNEAKY STRATEGIES, AND LOTS OF REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND LET THEM DO ANYTHING THEY WANT
CHAPTER 8: SPIN CONTROL: MAKING ABUSE SOUND LIKE A GOOD THING
CHAPTER 9: “AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU”:TROTTING OUT THE “YOU OWE ME” EXCUSE FOR ABUSE
CHAPTER 10: SELECTIVE AMNESIA: “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I DID WRONG!”OR,“I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED~ SHE JUST STOPPED SPEAKING TO ME!”
CHAPTER 11: “SHE CAN’T HELP THE WAY SHE ACTS,”SO YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, FORGIVE HER ANYWAY, AND NOT EXPECT HER TO CHANGE
CHAPTER 12: THE OLD AGE EXCUSES:“SHE’S OLD, AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET”OR,“HE’S OLD, SO HE’S ENTITLED”
CHAPTER 13: “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO JUDGE ME”:THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JUDGING AND REBUKING
CHAPTER 14: THE MYSTERY EXCUSE FOR ABUSE:VARIOUS VERSIONS OF “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT,” WITH NO FURTHER EXPLANATION GIVEN
CHAPTER 15: THE “CHRISTIAN” ABUSER: TWISTING GOD’S WORD TO JUSTIFY ABUSE
CHAPTER 16: DESPERATE MEASURES:WHEN THEY SENSE THEY’RE LOSING THEIR GRIP ON YOU, FIVE SURPRISING WAYS OF KEEPING YOU ATTACHED
CHAPTER 17: “LET’S GO TO COUNSELING TOGETHER AND WORK ON OUR PROBLEM”
CHAPTER 18: “MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED”(AND YOU’RE SPEEDING IT UP BY CONFRONTING ME) OR, “I’M SICK, SO YOU CAN’T HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE”
CHAPTER 19: “I’M ONLY HUMAN!”….AND NOBODY’S PERFECT….AND HUMAN BEINGS ARE ALL SELFISH….AND I MAKE MISTAKES JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE
CHAPTER 20: PRESUMPTUOUSNESS AND SPIRITUAL BULLYING
CHAPTER 21: THE IMPOSSIBLE-TO-PREVENT NUCLEAR MELTDOWN
CHAPTER 22: “BUT I’VE CHANGED, SO YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE”
PART 3: SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT, AND BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE FOR US
CHAPTER 23: THE SILENT TREATMENT
CHAPTER 24: “YOU’D BETTER, OR ELSE!”THREATS, BLUFFS, AND ULTIMATUMS
CHAPTER 25: YOU’RE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST PICTURE:THE IDEALIZATION AND DEVALUATION/DISCARD CYCLE
CHAPTER 26: “ADOPTING” ANOTHER KID TO REPLACE YOU
CHAPTER 27: A LESSON LEARNED:NARCISSISTS USE US TO DO FAVORS FOR OTHERS, SO THEY CAN TAKE THE CREDIT
CHAPTER 28: EMBRACING SECOND FIDDLE:THOUGHTS ON BEING THE SCAPEGOAT VERSUS THE GOLDEN CHILD
CHAPTER 29: GETTING DISOWNED: THE BEST PUNISHMENT EVER
PART 4: VICTORY FOR THE CHILDREN OF THE KING
CHAPTER 30: THE DECLINE AND FALL OF OUR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
CHAPTER 31: DEFINING “HONOR”
CHAPTER 32: WHAT’S THE POINT OF CONFRONTING?
CHAPTER 33: FOUR SECRET WAYS TO “CHANGE” A NARCISSIST
CHAPTER 34: IS IT “UN-CHRISTIAN” OR POLITICALLY INCORRECT TO CALL A DIRTBAG A DIRTBAG?
CHAPTER 35: WE DO NOT NEED THERAPY
CHAPTER 36: FROM NOW ON, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ONLY
CHAPTER 37: WHEN WE START CHANGING
CHAPTER 38: NO CONTACT: THE ONLY ROAD TO PERMANENT PEACE
CHAPTER 39: LUKE 17:3 MINISTRIES’ ABUSER FAQ
EPILOGUE: WAR AND NONSENSE STATEMENTS
ALSO BY SISTER RENEE PITTELLI
THE FAMILY FREELOADER
NARCISSISTIC PREDICAMENTS
BREAKING THE BONDS OF ADULT CHILD ABUSE
INTRODUCTION
THE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKE OR DIVORCE
BETTER A POOR BUT WISE YOUTH THAN AN OLD BUT FOOLISH KING WHO NO LONGER KNOWS HOW TO TAKE WARNING.....Ecclesiastes 4:13 NIV.
AS A DOG RETURNETH TO HIS VOMIT, SO A FOOL RETURNETH TO HIS FOLLY.....Proverbs 26:11 KJV.
BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS AND YOUR UNREPENTANT HEART, YOU ARE STORING UP WRATH AGAINST YOURSELF FOR THE DAY OF GOD’S WRATH, WHEN HIS RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT WILL BE REVEALED. GOD WILL GIVE TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO WHAT HE HAS DONE....Romans 2:5-6 NIV.
It is truly a wonder to behold the amount of time, energy, and creativity that abusers and their Silent Partners put into inventing an infinite variety of lame excuses to justify why they should be allowed to keep on hurting other people. It’s disturbing and creepy to realize the amount of thought spent on advance planning, manipulation, scheming and conniving, moves and countermoves~ all just to be able to maintain control and dominance over us. And also to make sure that we have no support system, by turning other people against us. How much easier and more constructive it would be to just redirect and devote all of that effort into simply changing their behavior. But they don’t want to. So, whether you are confronting your abuser, reading about all of her ridiculous excuses, or just beginning to realize all the convoluted manipulations she is capable of, keep in mind that all you’re really asking of her, and all she really has to do, is just stop it!

I have addressed some of these inappropriate responses and lame excuses in my previous books, “Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse: A Biblical Textbook on Abusive Narcissistic Families, How They Operate, And How To Deal With Them” and “Narcissistic Predicaments: A Biblical Guide to Navigating the Schemes, Snares, and No-Win Situations Unique to Abusive Families.” Here are some more improper and unacceptable reactions that many of us have experienced when we began to set limits on our controlling or abusive relatives, and the chapters in this book which deal with a selected variety of them. An abuser’s repertoire is virtually unlimited, so this list is by no means all-inclusive: “I have no idea why you’re mad at me!”~ (See Chapter 10: “Selective Amnesia: ‘I Have No Idea What I Did Wrong!’, or ‘I Don’t Know What Happened~ She Just Stopped Speaking to Me!’”). Denial ~ “That never happened!”, “I did not!”~ (See Chapter