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52 pages

English

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In a world gone crazy one might wonder if simple acts of civility are worth the trouble. Dressing with dignity, writing letters, and innocent courtship are just some of the lost arts of kindness and integrity that Dr. Michael Kalpakgian tries to dig up and dust off, imploring us to regain the honor and worth our society once had. These noble habits of living fill common life with an abundance of simple pleasures that adorn day to day existence. The Lost Arts of Modern Civilization will inspire you to seek out and nourish the simple joys that lift the spirit, rejoice the heart, and enliven the mind.

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Christianity

Christian theology

Philosophie et théologie

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Publié par	TAN Books
Date de parution	01 novembre 2014
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781618906625
Langue	English

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Copyright © 2014 Mitchell Kalpakgian
All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts used in articles and critical review, no part of this work may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in any form whatsoever, printed or electronic, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published by TAN Books. This book was originally published in 2009 by The Neumann Press. Revised edition with color corrections, cover design copyright © 2014 TAN Books.
ISBN 9781618906632
Printed and bound in the United States of America
TAN Books
Charlotte, North Carolina
www.TANBooks.com
2014
Dedication
T O THE beloved people in my life—Armenian immigrant family members and dear friends in the neighborhoods of Milford, Massachusetts, in the 1940s and 1950s—who exemplified these lost arts of living well, introduced me to their exquisite pleasures, and practiced them as a way of life that made them deliciously good and irresistible, especially the members of the Khatchig Kalpakgian, David Kalpakgian, and Hagop Balian families, and my own wife Joyce and five children.
To the great writers of Western civilization—especially Homer, Jane Austen, Dr. Johnson, Mark Twain, Cardinal Newman—whose work teaches the importance of these traditional arts for a human civilization in which the goodness of hearts, the gift of friendship, the mirth of hospitality, the liveliness of conversation, the pleasure of pleasing, and the beauty of love flourishes to give ordinary life its enchantment.
To the great teachers and special friends in my life in whose company I most savored the taste, sweetness, and goodness of these humane arts again and again over a lifetime: Professors Quinn and Nelick from Kansas University, Dr. Robert Carlson and Mr. Herbert Mosher of Wyoming Catholic College, and loyal friends from Iowa—the Colella, Gilbert, Kharouf, Kuhn, Selgrade, Stroh, and Vitale families.
Preface
S AMUEL Johnson, the eminent Dr. Johnson and eighteenth century man of letters, wrote that “The only end of writing is to enable the readers better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.” The practice of these traditional arts, now rare in the technological universe of video culture, internet, e-mail, and electronic media, accomplish this very purpose of making daily life and ordinary routine more enjoyable or more endurable. These arts of living—the custom of hospitality, the habit of letter writing, the delight of conversation, the enjoyment of people, the desire of pleasing, and the practice of courtship—fill common life with an abundance of simple pleasures that adorn day to day existence.
They lift the spirit, rejoice the heart, whet the sense of mirth, and enliven the mind so that man’s daily regimen of toil receives the food and medicine of laughter, lightheartedness, and pure fun to overcome the demons of melancholy, dullness, and world weariness that afflict the joyless who live only to work instead of working to live and living to enjoy life. Without the charitable way of life these traditional arts instill, persons lose the personal touch, the appreciation of the simple pleasures, and the companionship of normal sociability, preferring instead interaction with technology rather than exchange with a thinking, feeling, talking, loving, and laughing human being full of life.
These traditional arts cultivate in persons a desire to give and be generous, to appreciate and be grateful, to please and to be thoughtful, to think of the happiness of others and of ways to bring joy into their lives, and to cherish the gift of a person as a blessing from God. Without the habitual practice of these lost arts, life soon develops into an Orwellian universe notorious for its flatness, deadness, and coldness. In the words from Orwell’s 1984 , “It struck him that the truly characteristic thing about modern life was not its cruelty or insecurity, but simply its bareness, dinginess, its listlessness.”
In a modern world that has deconstructed the family with its network of joy-filled relationships and in a society that spends more time before flat screens and television monitors than in human interaction, these lost arts offer the special touch, voice, and affection that bring the sweet kindness and goodness of the human heart into all people’s lives so that they may enjoy life more or endure life better.
Contents
Dedication
Preface
Acknowledgments
1. The Lost Art of Hospitality
2. The Lost Art of Letter Writing
3. The Lost Art of Conversation
4. The Lost Art of Enjoying People
5. The Art of Pleasing
6. The Lost Art of Courtship
7. The Lost Art of Tasteful Dressing or Proper Attire
Acknowledgments
V ERSIONS of four of these essays were first published in New Oxford Review (1069 Kains Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94706) and are reprinted here with the permission of editor Pieter Vree: “The Lost Art of Hospitality” (February 2001); “The Lost Art of Letter-Writing” (September 2004); “The Lost Art of Conversation” (January 2008); and “The Lost Art of Enjoying People” (October 2007). “The Lost Art of Pleasing” appears in the January (2010) issue of Homiletic and Pastoral Review (70 Lake Street, P.O. Box 297, Ramsey NJ). It is reprinted here with the permission of editor Kenneth Baker, S.J. The final two essays, “The Lost Art of Courtship” and “The Lost Art of Tasteful Dressing or Proper Attire,” have not appeared in any other publication.

CHAPTER ONE
The Lost Art of Hospitality
T HROUGHOUT the Odyssey Homer distinguishes between the civilized and the barbarians—those who practice the art of “living well” (Aristotle’s phrase) like the Phaeacians and those who merely live in the sense of survival like the Cyclops. The rituals of hospitality mark the culture of the civilized as they honor the traveler and respect the sacred law of the gods in their gracious welcome of the visitor. Homer describes a typical banquet scene that epitomizes old-world hospitality:
A maid came with water in a beautiful golden ewer and poured it out over a silver basin so that he could wash his hands. Then she drew a wooden table to his side, and the staid housekeeper brought some bread and put it by him with a choice of dainties, helping him liberally to all she could offer.
These Homeric feasts cultivate many virtues associated with the refinements of civilization: a reverence for the divine, the appreciation of beauty, and the habit of liberality. First, the host pours libations to the gods as an expression of gratitude for the gifts of food and drink and for the abundance of nature’s harvest. Hospitable occasions honor the gods for their favors and awaken the mind to a contemplation of the divine. Second, the banquet serves the traveler in an atmosphere that evokes beauty—“the beautiful golden ewer” and “the silver basin” reflect choice dishware made with the best materials and skilled craftsmanship. As Pericles said about the Greeks in his famous funeral oration, “We are lovers of the beautiful….” Third, the host abounds in generosity in preparing the best foods and offering the heartiest portions. When Telemachus is a guest in Menelaus’s home, the host spares nothing in accommodating all the human needs of the traveler: “Meanwhile a carver dished up for them on platters slices of various meats he had selected from his board, and put gold cups beside them.” In these scenes of hospitality from the Odyssey , the participants savor the fruits of civilization that dignify and elevate human life beyond the wearisome struggle for survival. The civilized refine and adorn life with manners, rituals, and arts that create the art of living well and an appreciation for all of life’s exquisite pleasures.
Reverence for the gods, love of the beautiful, and the outpouring of liberality, however, define only part of the occasion. The great banquets in the Odyssey also provide occasions for conversation and storytelling, an opportunity for learning. As Odysseus sojourns in Phaeacia with King Alcinous, he recounts his adventures with the Cyclops, the Sirens, and the Scylla and the Charybdis to a rapt audience intent on increasing their knowledge. The feast, then, creates an atmosphere for learning, for broadening one’s mind, for acquainting one’s self with an understanding of men and manners, and for hearing of the adventures of other travelers. Entertainment or games also accompany the rites of hospitality as the king summons the bard: “And let our glorious bard, Demodocus, be summoned. For no other singer has his heavenly gift of delighting our ears whatever theme he chooses for our song.” Thus the enjoyment of the feast calls to mind an important philosophical truth known to the civilized: Men work in order to play, leisure is the basis of culture, and the love of beauty and truth are liberal pursuits inherently desirable for their own sake. As Pericles explains in his funeral oration, “And we have not forgotten to provide for our weary spirits many relaxations from toil; we have regular games and sacrifices throughout the year; our homes are beautiful and elegant; and the delight we daily feel in all these things helps to banish melancholy.”
After partaking of their “fill of the good things we have shared, and of the banquet’s boon companion, the harp,” King Alcinous invites Odysseus to participate in the Phaeacian Games: “Let us go out of doors now and try our hand at various sports, so that when our guest has reached his home he can tell his friends that at boxing, wrestling, jumping, and running there is no one who could beat us.” The athletic contests offer “the perennial delight” of sports and the mirth of robust competition. The final touch that concludes the custom of hospitality is the performance of the graceful dancers that “filled Odysseus with admiration as he watched”—a sense of wonder in contemplation of the miracle of the beauty of art. Hospitality, then, moves both hosts and guests to participate in life’s highest pleasures and deepest joys