It's Taken Years to Get This Old , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - Karen O'Connor

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Speaker and humorist Karen O'Connor (Gettin' Old Ain't for Wimps, more than 245,000 copies sold) takes a lighthearted look at the perils of growing older. In this engaging collection of short stories, Karen shares what she and her fellow senior citizens have experienced that make the golden years an enjoyable time of laughter with a touch of humorous chagrin. These stories, that include ordering a Coke and fries at the bank drive-thru to having to admit their ages to get senior discounts, reveal that...timeless beauty begins with a good heartshaking things up is not just for the younglost and found becomes a way of life after 50love happens at all ageslaughter is contagious at every ageWith inspirational reflections and lively prayers, this entertaining collection of anecdotes will tickle readers' funny bones and remind them how great life is.

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Philosophie et théologie

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 juillet 2010
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736939706
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0462€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

It s Taken Years
to Get This Old
Karen O Connor

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS EUGENE, OREGON
Verses marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.
Cover illustration Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota
Cover by Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota
Published in association with the Books & Such Literary Agency, 52 Mission Circle, Suite 122, PMB 170, Santa Rosa, CA 95409-5370, www.booksandsuch.biz.

IT S TAKEN YEARS TO GET THIS OLD
Copyright 2006 by Karen O Connor
Published 2010 by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
O Connor, Karen.
It s taken years to get this old / Karen O Connor.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-7369-2953-0
previously published as: Gettin old still ain t for wimps.
ISBN 978-0-7369-1771-1 (pbk.)
1. Older Christians-Religious life. 2. Aging-Religious aspects-Christianity. I. Title.
BV4580.O357 2006
248.8 5-dc22
2006001336
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 / BP-SK / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
For my grandchildren who keep my funny bone working!
Acknowledgments

I want to thank the following men and women for sharing their touching, humorous, and tender experiences with me-many of which provided seeds for the stories in this book.
Marie Asner Amy C. Baker Millie Barger Ralph Bender Nargis Bunce Janet Burr Shirley Carson Marge Carter Glenna Clark Joan Clayton Dolores Collins Eleanor Cowles Dean Crowe Mona Downey Lorraine Espinosa Pat Evans Sylvia Everett Pam Farrell Lana Fletcher Mary Lou Flinkman Annette Freligh Freda Fullerton Vernette Fulop Joyce A. Gendusa Millie Gess Judy Gilboe Alice King Greenwood Peggy Hamburg Jeanette Hanscome John and Edie Holm Marsha Hubler Angela Hunt Shelley Hussey Patti Iverson Veda Boyd Jones Susan Keck Mary Kirk James Lamb Judith Larmon Brad McBrayer Mary McCormick Jim McEldowney Joan McMahon Louisa Godissart McQuillen Karen Milam Sharon Moore Sherrie Murphree Marilyn Prasow Naomi Rhodes Sharon Riddle Mary Beth Robb Martha Rogers Nancy Rose Joanne Schulte Joyce Seabolt Margie Seger Theresa Sheppard Shirley Shibley Ruth Sigmon Shirl Thomas June Varnum Stephen Walsh Marion Wells Gary Winters Brenda Woodard Jeanne Zornes
Contents

Acknowledgments
A Note from Karen
Lookin Purdy!
Hair Ye! Hair Ye!
Tattoos Too
Lookin Good
Soaking Beauty
Front and Center
All Moussed Up!
Beautician or Magician?
On the Road
Joy Ride
Keyed Up
Running on Empty
Y Stop Now?
Shopping Spree
Driving Miss Lucy
City Drivers
Bowled Over
Par for the Car
Flat Wrong
Fast Getaway
Creative Communicatin
Remembering the Alamo!
Candy Hearts
Green Jell-O
Ma Bell
Help Wanted!
Nice Game
Souvenirs
Hallmark of Confusion
Unruly E-mail
No Laughing Matter
Pinch-hit Mother
Heavenly Hotel
Oopsy!
Lip Glue
Don t Try That Again!
Priority Mail
Coffee Anyone?
Melon Mania
Spell It Again, Sam
Fe-Fi-Fo-Film
Sweet Somethings
Breakfast Bonanza
Knit One, Purl Two
Dandy Daughters
Blessings Abound
Slippin and Slidin
A Hard Fall
Ex-cu-use Me!
Grateful Grandma
Senior Sipper
A la Mode
Surprise!
Time to Tell
In Darkness and in Light
Something s Fishy
Empty Nest
Treasure Hunt
Young at Heart
Fifty-five Plus
Rocking the Boat
Reunion Union
Senior Discount
Missing Parts
The Other Shirl
Telling the Tooth
Seeing Is Believing
Costly Secret
Lost and Found
Pen in Hand
Flowers for Nanny
Time s Up
Forget Me Not
Checkup or Checkout
Brush Off!
Pets and People
A Better Man
Doggy Doo!
Rat!
Little Mother
Hands Up!
Spunky Senior
Pistol-packin Mama
Lovin to Learn
Dancing Shoes
B.A. for M-O-M
Cookin Good
Gettin Forgetful
Everything in Its Place
If the Name Fits
Shotgun Wedding
Music to My Ears
Every Vote Counts
No Fries Here
Good Ol Days
Red Gravy
Musical Hit Parade
A Little Compromising
Pie in the Sky
Night Out
This Old House
Gettin Old Ain t for Wimps
About the Author
A Note from Karen

Bette Davis once said, Old age is no place for sissies. Indeed! It takes grit and wit to keep standing when your skin doesn t fit the way it used to, when you think someone stole your car but in truth you forgot where you parked it, when your grandchild looks at your figure and observes aloud, Grandma, you look like a teenager-except for your head! or Grandpa, why does your neck jiggle when you talk?
I hope you ll enjoy this collection of original, lighthearted stories and inspirations to warm your heart and tickle your funny bone. Included are scriptures and prayers to nurture your spirit and turn your eyes to the One who made us, who numbered our days, and who promises clearly that he will never leave us nor forsake us-right up to our last breath and beyond.
- Karen O Connor
Lookin Purdy!
Hair Ye! Hair Ye!

J ane looked in the mirror at her straggly hair. What am I going to do with you? I m getting fat, and you re getting thin. It s not fair!
She raked her fingers through the gray strands, remembering how her late husband, Terry, had loved her hair when they first met. It was golden then-and thick. Now at age 60, it needed all the help she could give it-perms, thickeners, a weekly shampoo and styling. But nothing gave it the look she wanted. When it came right down to it, she was losing her hair and there was no getting it back.
Jane dressed for the day, and then checked the mailbox. The carrier usually arrived around nine o clock each morning. She pulled out a handful of envelopes and leafed through them. Bills, flyers, ads. Nothing exciting here.
Then a catalog caught her attention. The model on the front smiled from the page. Her hair was gorgeous, thick, flowing, wavy-just what Jane wanted. The headline beneath the picture beckoned: WIG ISSUE-SEE INSIDE FOR BEAUTIFUL, NATURAL HAIRPIECES.
Just what Jane used to have and was now desperate for. She tore through the pages, her hands shaking. Could this be the answer to her problem? A wig. Why didn t I think of it before? Thank you, Lord. You always provide.
Jane grabbed her credit card, dialed the 800 number, and talked to a representative about the perfect wig for her. After their consultation, Jane made her choice and placed the order. She hung up and looked at herself in the hall mirror. I m on the way to being a new woman. No more plain Jane!
She kept her purchase a secret from her daughter, Kim, who lived with her, and from her best friend, Dotty, who lived across the street.
The wig arrived on Saturday while Kim was on duty at the hospital. Jane tore open the package and pulled the hairpiece over her head. Gorgeous! She couldn t help but touch the soft curls and run her hand through the gentle waves. She loved the sheen and the texture and the way it felt. In fact, she was sure she stood taller and looked much prettier than she had in years.
She decided to debut her new wig the following day. On Sunday morning she walked into the kitchen. Kim looked surprised and then delighted.
Mom, you look fab! A wig, I presume.
Ah, Jane mumbled, I hoped it wouldn t be that obvious.
Mom, get real. You ve hated your hair for years.
Jane shrugged, grabbed her purse and keys, and headed for the car.
She drove to church in silence, but she noticed Kim looking her over and smiling.
What a morning. By the time they returned home Jane was flying. Angie had said she looked great. Barbara said she nearly didn t recognize her. And Dotty stood back and yelped, Jane, it s a new you. I love it!
By mid-week, Jane was so attached to her wig, she wore it from the moment she woke up till she went to sleep. It needed a small size adjustment, but she didn t want to part with it long enough to send it back.
The following Friday morning, Jane stopped at a coffee shop while doing errands. She ordered a cup of mocha and a muffin, and then sat down to read the paper and relax. It was a warm day, and the steaming beverage made her hot! She fanned her face with the menu and felt trickles of perspiration run down her face. She ran her hands through her hair to cool off.
Suddenly she realized something was wrong! She reached up. The wig was gone. She panicked.
Looking for this? a gentleman asked, stifling a laugh.
Yes, and thanks, she mumbled.
Jane grabbed the mass of moist curls and ran out of the shop mortified. She prayed no one she knew had seen her.
How humiliating, Lord. How can I wear this thing? It can t be trusted!
At the car Jane took a deep breath, pulled on the wig, and checked herself in the car mirror. Then she got the giggles. Soon she was laughing so hard she was shaking. God, is this funny or what? I m remembering the scripture that tells me that you know the number of hairs on my head. Do the ones on my wig count too?

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered (Luke 12:7).

Thank you, Lord, that I can cry with you and laugh, as well. You are so good to me, caring for my every move, my every desire, my every fear, my every insecurity. I am so glad you are my Father, my protector, my provider. Because of you, I can find hope and humor in everything that occurs.
Tattoos Too

M illie awoke from breast cancer surgery groggy but grateful it was over and she was alive. T