Grieve Like A Man , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - Fann Jonathan

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69 pages

English

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Grief. It's a messy, hard path...yet it's a journey everyone will take at some point in life. When men walk that road, they often find they're not given the freedom to grieve as they need to. Author Jonathan Fann has been there, having lost two children and his father in less than 18 months.Grieve like a Man offers men a practical guide to navigating the path of grief in a culture where men are taught to be tough. The author also provides insight for wives, mothers, sisters, and friends into how men grieve differently than women and how they can come alongside the men in their lives who are hurting from a loss.Readers will learn how to face grief that occurs, not just in the case of death, but also during the loss of a marriage, jobs, and even a man's hopes and dreams. An encouraging book for every man dealing with loss.

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Philosophie et théologie

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 mars 2012
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736942379
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0462€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Men often struggle with talking about their feelings. Many guys have been conditioned to stuff their emotions. Jonathan Fann has written a bold, liberating, and refreshing book. Every pastor needs copies of this book on the shelf to help men of all ages grieve well.
T ED C UNNINGHAM senior pastor, Woodland Hills Family Church, Branson, MO author of Young and in Love
As the director of M.E.N.D. (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death), I m often asked if there are any good resources for the daddies. Until now, there really wasn t a great book I could recommend to these hurting men. Jonathan covers it all in Grieve Like a Man . He candidly tells of his own numerous and varied losses and how he endured the grief following each one. He provides personal application questions to consider and concludes each chapter with reflection questions. This book is not just for men. I recommend that women read it in order to get a better understanding of how men are wired to deal with loss and death. Anyone who has suffered some type of loss will greatly benefit from reading this wonderful and well-written resource.
R EBEKAH M ITCHELL founder and president, M.E.N.D.
Grief can take men and women alike into a wilderness that s unfamiliar, frightening, and potentially overwhelming. Many times, however, men especially stumble through that wilderness in ways that compound their pain. In Grieve Like a Man , Jonathan Fann speaks openly from his and his wife Heather s own personal experience, as well as from his ministry as a chaplain, in order to help men face and deal with grief-for their own sake as well as for their loved ones. The markers he describes draw upon Scripture and provide valuable insights for navigating through this strange and terrible terrain. Bless yourself, or someone you know who s walking through grief, with this book.
P RESTON P ARRISH author of Finding Hope in Times of Grief
HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible , Copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible , Holman CSB , and HCSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.
Cover by Koechel Peterson Associates, Inc., Minneapolis, Minnesota
Cover photo Hemera/Thinkstock
GRIEVE LIKE A MAN
Copyright 2012 by Jonathan Fann
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Fann, Jonathan, 1976-
Grieve like a man / Jonathan Fann.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-7369-3925-6 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4237-9 (eBook)
1. Christian men-Religious life. 2. Grief-Religious aspects-Christianity. 3. Grief in men. I. Title.
BV4528.2.F36 2012
248.8 66-dc23
2011021675
All rights reserved . No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 / BP-NI / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To our children in heaven- Caleb and August
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
I learned the grief markers in this book because many loved ones made the decision to walk with me on my grief journey. My wife, Heather, was there throughout, and to her I offer my greatest thanks. She showed patience and unconditional love even as I was learning what it meant to grieve like a man. I couldn t have asked for a better partner in grief or in life, and this book wouldn t exist without her. Countless friends and family members found themselves tossed into this journey with us, and I thank all of them for their love, support, and compassion.
To Peter, Kasie, Luke, Mikayla, David, Allison, Jason, Amy, Ray, and Leah, I also say thank you. As a group you allowed Heather and me to hurt without ever trying to fix us. God placed you in our lives in a very difficult season, and I am so grateful He did. David, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to review this manuscript and offer valuable suggestions.
I am grateful to Rebekah, who chose amid the grief of losing her son Jonathan to create a support group for other hurting parents. Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death (M.E.N.D.) gave us a place to voice our hurt and to find encouragement from others who survived similar losses.
My friends Randy and Kathryn believed in this project when it was just an idea I discussed at dinner. Kathryn, thank you for the excitement and motivation that got this book started well. Phil and Jennifer, you both have taught me so much, and I thank you for your inspiration and wisdom.
I would also like to thank the men who trusted me to share their stories of loss in this book. Each one was open and authentic, hoping that his story might help others.
Sara Elliott spent countless hours with this manuscript in its various forms. It is a better work because it passed through her hands. Thank you, Sara, for using your time and talents so generously to help others. Thank you even more for the friendship and love you continue to show Heather and me.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Foreword by Dr. Philip and Jennifer Rothschild
Introduction
1. I Don t Have Time for This
Grief is never convenient .
2. I m Drowning, but I Don t Need Help
Accepting help is not a sign of weakness .
3. I Need Help, and I Think It s God s Fault
God is honored when you take your anger to Him .
4. Sometimes God Sends a Basketball Team
Other men have a part to play in your grieving .
5. Time to Man Up
You can be a hero in just a few simple words .
6. I m Going Fishing
Men process grief through action .
7. Don t Touch My Stuff
Men need their own reminders .
8. Danger!
Shortcuts lead to destruction .
9. A New Normal
You get to choose where you will focus .
10. A Line in the Sand
Make a decision to act on what you have learned .
11. Trail Guides
Use this road map to help others during their grief journeys .
About the Author
Other fine reading from Harvest House Publishers
About the Publisher
Foreword
W HEN G OD CREATED THE G ARDEN OF E DEN , He made no provision for death within its lush surroundings. Eden had no hospice and no cemetery.
The fact is, we weren t created to die. Alzheimer s, heart attacks, miscarriage, cancer, and fatal accidents would have been misfits in the garden.
Death was an intruder in Eden.
When people we love die, it will always feel counterintuitive because it s counter-creation. God created us to be uncorrupted by sin, untouched by death. But when sin entered the garden, death entered our race.
Death-and something else.
Grief.
Grief is a strange thing. It shows up uninvited, comes for all sorts of reasons, and stays longer than we ever expect. No one knows quite how to grieve, but we all have to at some point. Jonathan Fann never expected to have to deal with the fatigue, despair, and frustration that grief brought him. Before he was 30 years old, he had lost his law-enforcement career due to an injury; his firstborn son, Caleb, who lived only six hours; his second child, August, who miscarried; and his father, who died suddenly at age 57.
Job said, My face is flushed from weeping, and deep darkness is on my eyelids my days are passed, my plans are torn apart, even the wishes of my heart (Job 16:16; 17:11 NASB). Jon had to have felt the same way. But unlike Job, he didn t sprinkle his head with ashes and clothe himself in sackcloth. Instead, he kept working, tried to console his wife, stayed busy, and slowly imploded. Grief doesn t leave just because it is ignored. Instead, it lodges in places where it eventually will be acknowledged. That s what happened to Jon. His path brought him to the hard reality that men grieve they just may grieve differently than the women they love.
In Scripture, we re told to mourn with those who mourn or to grieve with those who grieve (Romans 12:15). Paul didn t tell us to analyze those who grieve. He didn t tell us to fix or scold those who are struggling after loss or change. He didn t suggest we give a to-do list to those who mourn so they can snap out of it faster. Perhaps that s because the biggest need people have when they grieve is the assurance that they aren t alone-that someone understands. When we grieve, we simply need someone to walk with us and feel what we re feeling.
You may have picked up this book because you intuitively knew you needed a knowing voice to speak into your grief. Friend, you have chosen wisely. Man to man, friend to friend, Jonathan will walk with you and honestly share what worked for him during his season of grief.
Men can t fix grief. They simply have to feel it and deal with it in the way they are wired. Grieve Like a Man gives men permission to do just that. It also gives women an insider s view of how men grieve when they experience loss.
As you take this book into your hands, let it seep into your heart. Trust it. Trust the truth that will comfort you. Trust the wisdom that will bring clarity and empathy to you. God can use grief to deepen and strengthen you.
You may grieve loss and wipe away tears of remembrance-tears that confirm that Eden had no tombstones. Ultimately, may your mourning contain glimmers of hope that remind you that life, not death, is our ultimate reality.
But, in the meantime, we may grieve. So free yourself to do so like a man.
Dr. Philip and Jennifer Rothschild cofounders of Womensministry.net and Fresh Grounded Faith Events Jennifer is the author of Lessons I Learned in the Dark and Self Talk, Soul Talk
Introduction
I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF WORKING THIRD SHIFT . Most cops will tell you it can get pretty boring after three a.m. The bars have all closed, and most of the troublemakers have gone home. This is usually a good time t