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WestBow Press - Dr. Tamar Sevajian LMFT

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41 pages

English

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Offering both clinical guidance and a resource for the Christian griever, this spirituality workbook contains real-life stories, serving as an agent for spiritual growth leading to emotional healing and wholeness.
Grief is a natural human reaction to emotional pain caused by the loss of someone or something significant to us. Studies have consistently revealed that neglecting our pain of the loss can negatively impact our present relationships and functioning in life. Losing someone creates a void in our hearts.
God can fill that void. However, he expects us to also work through it. Just as we pray to God for healing from an illness, we also go to the doctor. Similarly, there are steps we can take to help us overcome our emotional pain.
In Grief and Restoration, author Dr. Tamar Sevajian offers this workbook, an eight-week program combining Christian faith with evidence-based interventions empirically shown to be effective for processing grief. She presents a step-by-step plan to help the griever achieve healing and wholeness after the loss of a loved one. Although joining a grief support group is encouraged, the workbook can also be used on your own, or with a trusted friend/family member. It includes an application portion, as well as an action plan for each week.

Sujets

Religion

Christianisme

Death

Christian

Grief

Philosophie et théologie

Bereavement

Christian Living

Informations

Publié par	WestBow Press
Date de parution	12 février 2023
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781664287778
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0200€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Grief & Restoration

A Guide for the Christian Griever after a Significant Loss

Dr. Tamar Sevajian, LMFT

Copyright © 2023 Dr. Tamar Sevajian, LMFT.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press
A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.westbowpress.com
844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-8775-4 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8776-1 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8777-8 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/09/2023
Acknowledgements
I want to acknowledge the individuals who contributed to this project.
First and foremost, God, our father, for providing me with the opportunity, health, and resources; for answering my prayers through the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Christ Jesus.
Dr. Terry Hargrave, for introducing me to Restoration Therapy, a theoretical model that best fit my faith principles and the faith of my clients who are impacted by it every day toward their path to healing and recovery.
Dr. Mark White, director of MFT Doctoral Programs at NCU, for his continual support, guidance, and encouragement during the long road of my doctoral studies. Dr. Darren Adamson, chair of Department of Marriage and Family Sciences at NCU, for his wisdom, care, and guidance during a critical time. Tsega Worku, director of Lake Avenue Church Counseling Ministries for walking the journey with me during my internship as a friend and mentor.
Luther Sevajian, my dear husband, for his support, gentle encouragement, and commitment to my MFT journey despite my challenges. I praise God for bringing you into my life.
Contents
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Chapter 1Grief and Your Present Pain
Chapter 2The Stages of Grief
Chapter 3The Destructive Power of Neglected Grief
Chapter 4Emerging Feelings, Depression, and the Pain Cycle
Chapter 5Forgiveness
Chapter 6The Road to Recovery and the Peace Cycle
Chapter 7Obtaining Closure
Chapter 8Finding Meaning
References
Introduction
I have struggled in my choice of a writing style that correctly depicts my heart regarding the topic of grief. This workbook is a combination of an authentic memoir and a therapeutic guide. At the same time, it is an attempt to integrate faith and science to help Christians process their grief with understanding, to move beyond their pain and into a meaningful life.
The urge for writing this workbook originated from my desire to reach out to those who are walking through where I have been. I have experienced several losses and grieved various emotional pains myself. I did not know how to process them at the time; hence, I have suffered the consequences. I have changed some aspects of the details to protect the identities of the people in my circle. Interventions such as forgiveness, and peace cycle were crucial for my healing. Although after many years, I remember details, I choose to celebrate and rejoice in the good memories, as well as the strengths and blessings that resulted from each loss.
Furthermore, the value of this guide as a healing aid is realized when the griever believes in the process and applies it to her or his circumstances. We are never prepared for death. Even as Christians, we may cognitively understand it due to our belief in heaven and afterlife, however, our human emotions and reactions go through the same initial experiences as a non-believer. We still experience shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and so on, even though the process may be different. However, while learning about our mind and emotions scientifically (what happens to the brain under stress), we are reminded that they are also connected to our spiritual state. The difference is we are dependent on our hope in God’s promises. The belief in the fact that we will see our loved ones again can be very comforting.
Regardless of the type of loss you’ve experienced, you don’t have to go through it alone. Sharing your pain with someone, in a group, or on your own with God is helpful. If you choose the last option, then I encourage you to use journaling as your most important tool. Nevertheless, research shows that self-disclosure is a key therapeutic tool. In addition, learning about interventions that help you take certain action steps may be just what you need as you progress through your grief journey. Understanding what you are going through can calm your anxieties and feel liberating. Finally, utilizing your faith as an important resource for strength and hope, which will contribute to the gradual restoration of peace and wholeness.
Chapter 1 Grief and Your Present Pain
Grief is a common and normal human response to death and loss. However, it hurts; it feels like it cuts through the heart leaving a big hole. It is a multidimensional process and unique to each person. Although painful, it is necessary to get through the transitions of life, as well as to restore our best selves. In this sense, processing grief promotes health and wholeness. The loss has unexpectedly (for most) interrupted the grievers’ lives and turned their worlds upside down. A void is created, and perhaps some missing pieces that need to be found. Furthermore, it is important to find personal meaning at the end of a grief process—a turning point, transformation, hope, and enlightenment.
Self-disclosure, the tendency to share one’s personal feelings within the parameters of specified informed-consent guidelines, has been found to be an important part of dealing with grief. Founded by Michael White and David Epston (1990), narrative therapy is a safe, positive, non-pathologizing, and collaborative approach for processing grief. Stories are deconstructed and reconstructed with new meaning and life circumstances. Narrative theory allows the person to externalize their emotions; it helps them separate themselves from their problems or situations, thereby fostering emotional growth and healing. It minimizes pain from grief and uses people’s unique filters to process messages, allowing them to reauthor their narratives and make sense of the situations.
During grief, when we try to pray, at times we feel a mental block; no words seem to properly describe what we feel. The psalms are a great resource; an incredible collection of prayers, songs, and poems within the scriptures. They give us a special language and vocabulary to speak and cry out to God. Then we read, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.… A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 3:4 New International Version, or NIV). While our anxieties overwhelm us, God says, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 NIV).
Ignoring the grief of our loss negatively affects our life emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you just lost a loved one, you are at a painful and often a lonely place. The last thing you need at this moment is someone to tell you not to worry, that “this shall pass,” or “don’t cry,” or “I understand.” Just as God created us uniquely, each loss we experience is unique and cannot be compared to another’s. Our relationships are also unique. Hence, every loss is significant to the person who is grieving it. They cannot be compared, and their value cannot be measured by anyone except the people who are experiencing them.
Losing a loved one is tragic. It hurts, whether it’s due to premature death, illness, or trauma. While you are currently grieving a recent loss, you may realize you have not grieved other past losses in your life. As a result, these compile with the current loss and may intensify your pain. You may have not allowed yourself the time to grieve the loss of a person who was close to you (husband, wife, child, parent, sibling, or friend) or the loss of something significant to you (job, health, divorce, house, or country). You may have avoided grieving because either it was too painful at the time or you have chosen to stay in the denial stage. You may be liv