Early Bird Gets the Discount
109 pages
English

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109 pages
English

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Description

Humor Is the New Fountain of Youth If you're thirsty for a good chuckle, drink up! Stay forever young with these whimsical, slice-of-senior-life stories from bestselling humorist Karen O' Connor. These amusing anecdotes on aging celebrate the hilarious highs and laugh-out-loud lows that can only come from decades of experience. Maybe you'll see a little bit of yourself as you encountermedication mix-upscode cracking chaosdiet dos-and-don'tsvexing vocabularywardrobe worries Along with all the fun comes a fresh dose of inspiration from Scripture and a short prayer to help you reflect on the things that truly matter—faith, family, and friendship. Kick back, relax, and enjoy this heartfelt collection of golden years glimpses that are sure to bring a smile to your face.

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Informations

Publié par
Date de parution 27 juin 2017
Nombre de lectures 0
EAN13 9780736971386
Langue English
Poids de l'ouvrage 1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0780€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
All Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Cover by Dugan Design Group
Published in association with the Books Such Management, 52 Mission Circle, Suite 122, PMB 170, Santa Rosa, CA 95409-5370, www.booksandsuch.com .
THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE DISCOUNT
Previously published as The Golden Years Ain t for Wimps
Copyright 2008 by Karen O Connor
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-7137-9 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-7138-6 (eBook)
The Library of Congress has cataloged the earlier printing as follows:
O Connor, Karen,
The golden years ain t for wimps / Karen O Connor.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-7369-2247-0 (pbk.)
1. Older Christians-Religious life. 2. Aging-Religious aspects-Christianity. I. Title.
BV4580.O358 2008
248.8 5-dc22
2007036575
All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
Dedication
To the men and women I ve known who have led the way to the happy golden years!
Acknowledgments
I thank these men and women for contributing their ideas, experiences, and story seeds-all of which have been woven into the fabric of this book in a creative way.
Charlotte Adelsperger Bev Adler Nicole Amsler Betty Blyler Janet Burr Michele Buschman Amy Canada Sharon Norris Elliott Marilou Flinkman Charles Flowers Kathleen Gibson Margo Haren Loralee Hunt Patti Iverson Susan Keck Judith Larmon Shirley Longlois Patricia Lorenz Brenda McKee Brenda Nixon Dympna Nuree June O Connor Carrielynn Peace Will Perkins Marilyn Prasow Sharon Riddle Eileen Rife Celeste Roberts Jeneal Rogers Laurie Russell Mae Frances Sarratt Joanne Schulte Linda Evans Shepherd Mike Smith Jim Sweeney Jan C. Thompson Charlene Toomey Mairin Torr Shevawn Torr June Varnum Kathie Williams Gary Winters Jeanne Zornes
Contents
Dedication
Acknowledgments
A Note from the Author
It s All in a Word
Prostrate Prone
The Exhausted King
A Taxing Affair
Cracking the Code
Healthy Living
Coffee, Anyone?
Chapped Lips
Hear! Hear!
My Achin Back
Down for 20
Body Beautiful
Chinny Chin Chin
Face-Lift
Footloose
Cake Walk
Playing Games
Secret Recipe
Blue Cheese or Swiss?
Hot Dog!
Travels
Some Croc
Easy Does It
Not My Club
All in a Name
You re in Charge
Smooth Sailing
Bedroll Blues
Tall Tales
I ve Got a Secret
Say Cheese
Murder, He Said
A Close Call
Seeing Things
Time s a Flyin
Card Party
Empty Nest
Taking Turns
Cheers!
Changes and Choices
Roses Are Red
Seeing Double
Snip, Snip!
Wishful Thinking
Just Desserts
Respect Your Elders
Driver s Seat
Second Chance
Lost and Found
Keyche, Anyone?
Here Yesterday, Gone Today
A Dog s Life
Closed Case File
I See, You See
Telling the Tooth
Key Moment
Those Grandkids
Dot Org
Ice Queen
Friend or Foe?
A Matter of Comfort
Silly Stuff
Fantastic!
Stormy Night
Make That an LT
Where Credit Is Due
Hold the Sprouts
Love and Marriage
Some Are Silver, Some Are Gold
The Pampered Camper
Wedding Gifts
Poppy s Girlfriend
Cool It!
A Good, Swift Kick
Hey, Good Lookin
Lady s Man
About the Author
Other Books by Karen O Connor
About the Publisher
A Note from the Author
Oh, those golden years! There are times when they glitter and times when they re a bit lackluster. Health problems, financial concerns, and relationship challenges can tarnish an otherwise happy day. On the other hand, we re generally confident in who we are, know how to enjoy life, have children and grandchildren to keep us young, and are wise enough to laugh at our foibles!
I hope the stories, Scriptures, and prayers in this book will refresh you as you sit back, read, and smile in recognition of some of the funny and embarrassing moments that are part of these happy golden years we share. Of one thing we can be sure: God is with us in all of them-loving us, leading us, and even laughing with us as we travel the road of life here and hereafter.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for he who promised is faithful.
H EBREWS 10:23
Karen O Connor
It s All in a Word
Prostrate Prone

M arion is not only hard of hearing; she s not much of a speller either. As she s quick to admit, Words cause me more than a little trouble.
Her sister Rona nods in agreement. She confuses words that have similar spellings, and not hearing well adds to the confusion. But the women have a good attitude and a sense of humor.
Marion explained that she and her sister have enjoyed a weekly phone conversation every Sunday afternoon for 50 years. They started the tradition when they were young mothers and looked to one another for support during their parenting years. After the kids were grown they kept right on talking week after week, year after year, right into their 70s. The topics changed as the seasons of life came and went: raising kids, caring for elderly parents, dealing with midlife crises, marriage, hobbies, travel-and a bit of gossip once in a while.
In recent years their chats have more to do with the aches and pains of aging, their crossword puzzles, flower gardens, favorite movies, and husbands who aren t as much fun as they used to be.
On a recent Sunday afternoon, Rona called Marion to complain. Her husband, Les, was turning into a couch potato and she was upset about it: He won t take a walk with me anymore. Says his hips hurt too much.
His lips hurt? What s that got to do with walking? Marion asked. Tell him lips are for kissing! She laughed at her own wit.
Rona brushed off the mistake and kept on going. It s as if he s given up on life-and on me. He s becoming prostrate prone.
Marion was suddenly quiet. She sniffled. Rona, dear, I m so sorry to hear about Les. He s always been so healthy and vibrant. But I guess trouble with-you know-one s private parts are common in men over 70. Let s just hope and pray that dear Les will live a long life despite his problems with you know what.
By this time Rona was confused. She held the phone away from her ear for a moment and took a deep breath-one she didn t want Marion to hear. She felt absolutely frustrated. First her husband began to shrink from life, and now it seemed her sister and best friend was doing the same thing. She couldn t make sense of Marion s comments, so it seemed best to ignore them.
Rona blew a kiss into the phone and said, I love you, as she had done every week for years. Then she added, Gotta run. Talk to you next Sunday.
Sure thing, honey, Marion agreed. I look forward to it. And I ll send Les a card. You can count on it. Poor dear.
The following Wednesday, an envelope addressed to Les arrived in the mail. Rona handed it to her husband at lunch. He slit it open and pulled out a get-well card from Marion.
What have you been telling your sister? he asked.
Rona could tell he was miffed.
Nothing important-just that you re not walking with me like you used to and I miss your company. I joked that you ve become prostrate prone.
Les burst out laughing. Well, I ll be, he shouted. Marion s going to have to give in and get hearing aids. He handed the card to his wife.
She read it aloud.
Dear Les, please get well soon. I heard from Rona that you re prone to prostate problems. I remember your daddy had something similar. We ll be praying for you. Remember, God loves you and so do I.
Love, Marion
Reflection
I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).

Lord, there is plenty to cry about during the golden years, so it s good when I find something to laugh at, even when it could be serious. Thank You for helping to tilt my glasses so I see the funny side of life.
The Exhausted King

H arvey had gotten hearing aids, but he doubted they were doing their job. His wife, Mabel, tugged on his shirtsleeve and whispered in his ear more often than he wanted to admit. It seemed he was confusing words, mishearing initial sounds, and generally missing the boat, especially when there were more than three or four people talking. About the only place he felt confident was in the first row of St. Andrew s Presbyterian Church, where he d been a faithful member for more than 50 years.
But there was another problem-one Harvey was equally bummed about. He had a difficult time staying awake during Pastor Richard s sermons. He wished he could sit in the back so the minister wouldn t notice, but if he did he couldn t hear as well. On the other hand, if he snoozed he d miss part of the sermon anyway. So what difference did it make where he sat? Harvey had a dilemma. He decided to put off his decision and spend the next few weeks sitting on the side near the worship group.
The following Sunday, Harvey and Mabel arrived ten minutes before the service began. They chose two seats on the right side. Leonard Fuchs, the choir director, came into the sanctuary and took his place in front of the singers. Harvey leaned back and allowed the music to waft over him, filling his spirit with peace and joy and the love of the Lord.
He felt so good that he didn t care what happened next. He was already in ecstasy. He

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