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147 pages

English

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Description

How to manage the process with grace, joy and good sense.

A practical guide that gives parents and teens the "how-to" information they need to navigate the bar/bat mitzvah process and grow as a family through this experience. For the first time in one book, everyone directly involved offers practical insights into how the process can be made easier and more enjoyable for all. Rabbis, cantors and Jewish educators from the Reform, Conservative and Reconstructionist movements, parents, and even teens speak from their own experience.
• What's it all about?
• Preparation for Parent and Child
• Tutoring, stress, expectations, enjoyment, planning for children with special needs
• Negotiating the ceremony and celebration
• Designing a creative service, heightening the spiritual exercise, special issues related to divorced and interfaith families, planning a party that neither breaks the bank nor detracts from the inherent spirituality of the event.

Acknowledgments xiii
Foreword xv
Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin
Preface xix
Rabbi Julie Gordon
Introduction xxi
Cantor Helen Leneman

Section I: What's Bar/Bat Mitzvah All About? 1
1 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Basic Elements: Start to Finish 3
Cantor Helen Leneman
2 What Parents Should Know Before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremony 15
Susie Tatarka
3 "Passing" the Bar (or Bat) Mitzvah: Setting Clear and Realistic Expectations for Everyone 21
Cantor Marshall Portnoy
4 A Guide for the Perplexed Parent: How to Ask the Right Questions about Preparation 33
Cantor Helen Leneman
5 The Parents' Rite of Passage 43
Rabbi Susan B. Stone
6 Ritual Magic and Family Drama: Finding New Meaning in an Old Story 47
Dr. Judith Davis
7 To a Religiously Skeptical Jewish Parent 57
Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin

Section II: The Family’s Perspective 65
8 Tales from the Home Front: Lessons from Family Experiences 67
Cantor Helen Leneman
9 Reflections of a Mother 77
Missy Cohen Lavintman
10 Reflections of a Father 83
Neal Gendler
11 Post B’nai Mitzvah Thoughts: Teens Reflect 89
Norman Lavintman, Maya Jaffe, Jennifer Greenberg, Miriam White
12 The Bat Mitzvah Dress: An Intergenerational Story 97
Dr. Nechama Liss-Levinson
13 Journey of One Interfaith Family 103
Dr. Donna R. Hart
14 What to Say to Your Child on the Bimah 109
Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso

Section III: Essentials and Options for the Service and the Celebration 119
15 Designing a Creative Service 121
Cantor Helen Leneman
16 Celebrating and Negotiating: Avoiding a Post-Divorce Battle on the Bimah 129
Sally Weber
17 Making the Theme Meaningful 139
Rabbi Aaron Bergman
18 Do You Need a Party Planner? 145
Cantor Helen Leneman
19 Coming of Age: The Significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah for Interfaith Families 151
Joan C. Hawxhurst
20 Celebrating Bar/Bat Mitzvah Successfully as an Interfaith Family 155
Lena Romanoff
21 Special Needs Children Speak for Themselves 161
Appendix A: On the Learning Path—Selected Resources for Parents 171
Dr. Barbara Wachs z"l Cantor Helen Leneman
Appendix B: Shabbat Morning Service Outline 181
Cantor Marshall Portnoy
Appendix C: Helpful Hints for Parents of Special Needs Children 83
Beverly Weaver
Appendix D: Selected Bibliography: Recommended Sources for English Readings 187
Cantor Helen Leneman
Glossary 189
About the Contributors 193

Sujets

Rituals

Philosophie et théologie

Judaism

Religion

Practice

Informations

Publié par	Turner Publishing Company
Date de parution	08 septembre 2011
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781580235020
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0950€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

T HIS BOOK WAS READ BY

N AME OF PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS, RELATIVES, FRIEND
T O PREPARE FOR THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH CEREMONY OF

C HILD S NAME

D ATE

T ORAH PORTION

N AME OF SYNAGOGUE AND COMMUNITY
T HIS BOOK WAS A GIFT FROM

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Basics is for you if you are:
A family that wants to understand what is involved from start to finish in preparing your child for a meaningful bar or bat mitzvah celebration, from the educational aspects all the way to the party planning; from the initial interview with a tutor to clearing the tables after the party. This book speaks to all parents, and it will be particularly valuable if you are:
Not yet affiliated with a congregation (or havurah ) but still wishing to prepare your child for a bar/bat mitzvah ceremony. It will even help you to find a congregation that meets your needs.
The parents of a child with special learning needs.
A member of a divorced couple wondering how to negotiate with your ex-spouse about planning a bar/bat mitzvah celebration.
An interfaith family seriously considering the option of preparing your child or children for bar/bat mitzvah.
Anyone with an interest in bar/bat mitzvah who wants to learn new perspectives and approaches to the ritual.
Jewish educators working with b nai mitzvah students who want to hear - and understand - the parents perspective as well as learn from other colleagues experience.
Rabbis or cantors who want to gain new insights into families priorities in preparing for bar/bat mitzvah.
A LSO BY C ANTOR H ELEN L ENEMAN
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Education: A Sourcebook
B AR /B AT M ITZVAH B ASICS
A P RACTICAL F AMILY G UIDE TO C OMING OF A GE T OGETHER
2nd Edition

JEWISH LIGHTS Publishing
Woodstock, Vermont
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Basics, 2nd Edition:
A Practical Family Guide to Coming of Age Together
2007 Second Printing, Second Edition
2001 First Printing, Second Edition
1998 Third Printing, First Edition
Copyright 2001 by Helen Leneman
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
For information regarding permission to reprint material from this book, please mail or fax your request in writing to Jewish Lights Publishing, Permissions Department, at the address / fax number listed below, or e-mail your request to permissions@jewishlights.com .
Quote from Nancy Gad-Harf in Chapter 2 from At 13, The Mitzvot: Family Resource Guide to Bar/Bat Mitzvah (Farmington Hills, Mich.: Hillel Day School of Metropolitan Detroit, 1994). Reprinted by permission.
Portions of Helpful Hints for Parents of Special Needs Children by Beverly Weaver originally appeared in United Synagogue Review , Spring 1995. Reprinted by permission.
Parts of Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso s speeches to her children that appear in Chapter 13 were originally published in Reconstructionist magazine, vol. LV/No. 2,
November/December 1989; and in the Foreword to Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child s Bar or Bat Mitzvah
(Woodstock, Vt.: Jewish Lights Publishing, 1992). Reprinted by permission.
The Bat Mitzvah Dress by Nechama Liss-Levinson originally appeared in Lilith magazine, Fall 1994. Reprinted by permission.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Second edition data available upon request.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Basics: a practical family guide to coming of age together / edited by Helen Leneman.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-1-879045-51-4 (hc) - ISBN-13: 978-1-879045-54-5 (pbk.)
ISBN-10: 1-879045-51-6 (hc) - ISBN-10: 1-879045-54-0 (pbk.)
1. Bar mitzvah-Handbooks, manuals, etc. 2. Bat mitzvah-Handbooks, manuals, etc. I. Leneman, Helen.
BM707.2.B369 1996
296.4'424-dc20 96-1613
CIP
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
ISBN-13: 978-1-58023-151-0 (2nd Edition)
ISBN-10: 1-58023-151-9 (2nd Edition)
Manufactured in the United States of America
Cover design: Donna Wohlfarth
Book design: Reuben Kantor
Published by Jewish Lights Publishing
A Division of LongHill Partners, Inc.
Sunset Farm Offices, Route 4, P.O. Box 237
Woodstock, VT 05091
Tel: (802) 457-4000 Fax: (802) 457-4004
www.jewishlights.com
DEDICATION
To my father, David Leneman, of blessed memory, who instilled in me an early love of Jewish learning
To Sima and Maya, who have inspired and encouraged me in my life s work
T ABLE OF C ONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin
Preface
Rabbi Julie Gordon
Introduction
Cantor Helen Leneman
Section I : What s Bar/Bat Mitzvah All About?
1 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Basic Elements: Start to Finish
Cantor Helen Leneman
2 What Parents Should Know Before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremony
Susie Tatarka
3 Passing the Bar (or Bat) Mitzvah: Setting Clear and Realistic Expectations for Everyone
Cantor Marshall Portnoy
4 A Guide for the Perplexed Parent: How to Ask the Right Questions about Preparation
Cantor Helen Leneman
5 The Parents Rite of Passage
Rabbi Susan B. Stone
6 Ritual Magic and Family Drama: Finding New Meaning in an Old Story
Dr. Judith Davis
7 To a Religiously Skeptical Jewish Parent
Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin
Section II: The Family s Perspective

8 Tales from the Home Front: Lessons from Family Experiences
Cantor Helen Leneman
9 Reflections of a Mother
Missy Cohen Lavintman
10 Reflections of a Father
Neal Gendler
11 Post B nai Mitzvah Thoughts: Teens Reflect
Norman Lavintman, Maya Jaffe, Jennifer Greenberg, Miriam White
12 The Bat Mitzvah Dress: An Intergenerational Story
Dr. Nechama Liss-Levinson
13 Journey of One Interfaith Family
Dr. Donna R. Hart
14 What to Say to Your Child on the Bimah
Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
Section III: Essentials and Options for the Service and the Celebration

15 Designing a Creative Service
Cantor Helen Leneman
16 Celebrating and Negotiating: Avoiding a Post-Divorce Battle on the Bimah
Sally Weber
17 Making the Theme Meaningful
Rabbi Aaron Bergman
18 Do You Need a Party Planner?
Cantor Helen Leneman
19 Coming of Age: The Significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah for Interfaith Families
Joan C. Hawxhurst
20 Celebrating Bar/Bat Mitzvah Successfully as an Interfaith Family
Lena Romanoff
21 Special Needs Children Speak for Themselves

Appendix A: On the Learning Path - Selected Resources for Parents
Dr. Barbara Wachs z l Cantor Helen Leneman
Appendix B: Shabbat Morning Service Outline
Cantor Marshall Portnoy
Appendix C: Helpful Hints for Parents of Special Needs Children
Beverly Weaver
Appendix D: Selected Bibliography: Recommended Sources for English Readings
Cantor Helen Leneman
Glossary
About the Contributors
About Jewish Lights
Copyright
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
I dedicate this book, above all, to you, the American Jewish family. You continue to invest time, energy, commitment, love, (and of course, money) to give your sons and daughters meaningful, memorable b nai mitzvah celebrations. I deeply admire your sense of commitment and your many sacrifices, which stem from an attachment to our heritage and a love of Jewish traditions.
I salute my students and their parents - past, present and future - who are a constant source of inspiration. From my first bar mitzvah student in the summer of 1980 to the students of yesterday afternoon, I have watched as the revelation of Torah leads to other revelations: About self, about family, about community, about Judaism. As students internalize the Torah and Haftarah chant, they also internalize the eternal messages of these books. As the children change and grow, their families grow with them. Parents and children learn more than Jewish history and Bible: They also learn each others and our communities values. In addition, they discover what they are capable of accomplishing when there is emotional and intellectual investment and true commitment. Long before the aliyah to the Torah, family members have ascended to heights they never reached before.
In particular, I want to thank all those families that openly shared their experiences with me. You have done a great service, for by sharing your stories and insights, you are helping the families which follow you.
I also want to thank those who contributed essays or chapters that were not included in this book. All the material was absorbed and used in some fashion, and each piece became part of the whole.
Thank you to Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso who encouraged me to approach Jewish Lights Publishing with this book. She is a continued source of support and ideas.
Thank you to John Price, computer pro, who saved me countless hours of work by converting disk after disk to speed up the editing process.
A particular thank you to those families who gave most generously of their time to share their experiences with others: the Blacklow, Nearpass, Savage and White families. Thank you to Patti Weiner, director of Half-Pint Party Planners in Gaithersburg, Maryland for clarifying the functions of party planners.
The book could never have been finished without the constant editing, re-editing and final editing (and then, final final editing) of Arthur Magida, editorial director of Jewish Lights, who has taught me to hone, abbreviate, fine-tune and rein in my verbosity and metaphoric aspirations. And Stuart Matlins, Jewish Lights publisher, who forced me to focus and zero in on my topics still further, and who saw the potential in my idea right from the start. His trust and support bolstered my faith in this book.
And I thank Sima - my personal editor, computer maven and constant source of support - who read every page, heard every story, and continually inspired me. This book is a tribute to the energizing effect you have on my life and work. Thank you for always being there.
F OREWORD
Rabbi Jeffre