Porch Swings and Prayer , livre ebook

Inspiring Voices - Rob Goodwin

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79 pages

English

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Porch Swings and Prayer is a southern memoir about faith, family, and triumph over tragedy. Rob grew up in a rural southern town where hard work and diligent faith in God were two important principles. Early in life, Rob faced great adversity. This is the story of his journey to find a better quality of life living with bipolar depression. The love and guidance of maternal grandmother Bertie Mae and her faith-based life lessons serve as a catalyst for a happy ending.

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Lettres et linguistique

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Publié par	Inspiring Voices
Date de parution	13 février 2015
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781462411122
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0240€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Copyright © 2015 Robert Goodwin.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Author photo by -Sherry Johnson Morgan

Inspiring Voices
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.inspiringvoices.com
1 (866) 697-5313

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4624-1111-5 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4624-1112-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015902072

Inspiring Voices rev. date: 02/12/2015
CONTENTS
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Epilogue

For Sherry Johnson Morgan, forever my biggest fan and most loving friend.
For Paul and all that you do to encourage my dreams.
For my mother and her determined commitment to provide the best for her children.
For the love of my life, for my Bertie Mae.
PROLOGUE
Granny used to say that if people were talking about you then it probably meant you were doing something really good or really bad, but you had to be the judge of that. “If you are doing what you want to do, Sugar,” she’d call me, “then it matters not what the other fella has to say about it.” So, when a lady from church told me that I should not visit the Ohatchee Church of Christ because they were up to no good, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. Within hours of submitting my email to the Preacher, Wayne Dunaway, via the church website, I had a response from him offering to meet me for a Coke.
I had fallen away from my first love, the Church. My battle with depression stole my joy and drove a wedge between The Lord and I. Taking a job located hours away from family and living like a recluse made it easier for me to abandon the assembly. I offered every excuse in the book as to why I couldn’t find a church home. My depression caused me to become weak in my faith and it nearly cost me my life.
Wayne Dunaway is a dear family friend. My grandmother on my Stepdad’s side of the family had gone to church with him for many years. She and my Paw Paw Goodwin were actually founding members of the Ohatchee congregation. Brother Wayne preached Maw Maw Ruth’s funeral. Even though I had known him for years, sitting down with him one on one in the summer of 2006 was a first. It also was a great turning point in life for me. It began a recovery from a very self-destructive cycle that lasted several years. I honestly never thought I would return to the Church of Christ. I was raised in a congregation with extreme legalistic views and in the back of mind I always wondered if I would ever have a hope of salvation, especially with my sins and mental turmoil.
Wayne is a man of God who preaches the Word. He also believes in emphasizing grace and mercy. What? Grace and mercy? Yes of course these are two very popular words in Christianity, but in a fire and brimstone culture, you don’t hear much about them. Through several conversations and worship services with Wayne, I began to feel that I was definitely covered by the blood of Jesus and that it was something that had happened the moment I became born again. Previously, salvation was something I longed for or anticipated, but wasn’t sure I deserved. At the Ohatchee Church, I learned that I had already received it. It was a done deal as long as my heart remained right with God. As long as I stayed a believer, I was okay.
Once Brother Wayne learned some of the talents I possessed and the nature of my last manic episode as a Bipolar, he insisted that I utilize the gift of public speaking to share my experiences. I had never considered speaking publicy about suicide attempts, alcohol binges, or other destructive behavior associated with my Depression. As a young boy, I remembered a lady being “dis-fellowshipped” or ex-communicated from The Church for simply taking Prozac. Wayne continued to encourage me and he convinced me that by speaking out, I could open the eyes of many about a very sensitive but prevalent issue among Christians.
In the spring of 2007 I stood before some 200 members of our church, family, and friends to share my message. I talked about the beautiful mountains overlooking the Calhoun County area of Alabama where we had all grown up. Cheaha Mountain is known as the highest point in the state of Alabama. Mt. Cheaha towers over the region at 2,411 feet. Although it is no Mt. Ranier, Rushmore or Kilimanjaro, Cheaha is beautifully intimidating. My buddy Chris and I took up mountain biking and were training on some of the smaller trails in nearby White Plains. Eventually we hoped to bike with the pros at Cheaha. My maternal grandmother, Granny as I called her, suddenly passed away and I was quietly dying inside. I felt that I couldn’t continue through life without her, so Cheaha would be the perfect place for a biking accident. As I reflect now, I can’t believe that I was so strategic in “training for suicide.”
As I stood in the pulpit and shared these feelings and thoughts with both loved ones and perfect strangers for the first time, I realized what God was calling me to do. I was not successful in taking my own life on Mt. Cheaha. There was a divine intervention and it was strong enough to shock me into recovery. Oh sure, I would fall again, several times, and will for the rest of my life, but from this episode I learned a great deal about myself and my disease.
As I concluded the sermon and offered the invitation to come forward for prayer I felt an enormous peace sweep over my entire body. When people say they have a weight lifted from their shoulders, I know exactly what they mean. I was light as a feather. God gave me a forum to unload my greatest weakness and sin. It was one of the most liberating experiences of my life.I was greeted with so much love, acceptance, and encouragement from this congregation on this day and many days to come. I am moved by the experiences people have shared about their struggles in the following days and weeks. We were all ashamed and thought by admitting we were depressed meant we were less than others or didn’t deserve our salvation.
In the years ahead, I learned that it was necessary for me to reach as many people as possible and let them know that Depression and mental illnesses are real. They are just as serious as a broken bone or life threatening physical illness. Mental illnesses must be treated professionally. One cannot ignore Depression. There is no shame or weakness in publicly admitting your biggest struggles. Christianity is all about humbling ourself before the Lord and one another.
For thirty-seven years now I have struggled with Bipolar Disorder/Manic Depression. I have to stay on top of this illness just as much as my high blood pressure or any ailment a person might face. This book has been an enormous source of therapy. My deepest earthy love in this life was my maternal grandmother, Bertie Mae Cochran. In this book, I get to tell you our love story. I get to tell you how she influenced my life and many others. She flies high with the angels today and I know she is sitting in my cheering section in Heaven asking God to guide me safely home.

Bertie Mae could always be found cross-legged, apron tied around her waist, whistling and praying in her swing.
CHAPTER ONE
When I was a little boy growing up in rural northeast Alabama, the cotton mills were just a little more than two decades old. Cotton farmers who actually picked their own crops or hired day workers had changed over to large mechanical cotton pickers. Many kids who had grown up picking cotton in the Alabama fields were now full time employees of these textile mills. It was a better life for most and offered a consistent year ‘round income for families.
My mother and her family farmed all along Alabama Highway 21 between Jacksonville and Piedmont in the 1940s and 1950s. Born to J.D. and Bertie Mae Cochran, Ona Lee was the middle daughter and fourth of six children. She was born in 1944 and gave birth to me at the age of 28 in 1972. By the time I was born, J.D. had succumbed to cancer, as did the youngest child, Luther. Bertie Mae, or Granny as she was to me, lived in a small trailer in our yard. She was my second parent, my best friend, my spiritual leader, and the sweetheart of my life. My mother and grandmother had already endured a lifetime of ups and downs by 1972. They always made me feel as though they were just waiting for me.
I guess you could say my mother Ona Lee was a trailblazer in the family. She was the first to become divorced. Granny didn’t believe in divorce, because the Church of Christ and the Bible taught against it. My biological father, Bob Gowens decided to leave Mom and I for a “big fat woman from Piedmont.” Our cotton-farming, cotton-milling family was brutally honest at times. They t