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10 pages

English

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Description

The ultimate guide for developing and maintaining a safe and secure relationship as you learn how to navigate life after having children. Learn to improve your communication, strengthen your connection, and manage common postpartum challenges as a team.

The author of this book draws upon her personal and professional experiences as a wife, mother, couple's therapist, and perinatal mental health expert to provide a clear roadmap for expecting and postpartum couples. The roadmap is meant to empower couples and new parents to feel more prepared in managing challenges which commonly begin in the fourth trimester and can continue on for years - unless resolved. Readers will find this resource insightful and inspiring because it provides a model for developing a healthy relationship. Readers will also feel encouraged to engage in meaningful conversations with their significant other by learning information and tools that are readily applicable.

In a clear and conversational manner, the author teaches you how to:

Prepare for the arrival of your baby
Learn how to improve postpartum mood disturbances
Understand your attachment style
Communicate and meet emotional needs
Build and maintain connection in your relationship
Improve communication
Create and implement a self-care plan
Establish healthy boundaries
Manage expectations
Navigate common postpartum challenges as a team

Along with practical knowledge and guidance, you will also find relatable case studies of postpartum couples, engaging scripts, easy to follow exercises, and reflection sections which are designed to serve as your step-by-step action plan for relationship improvement. This resource is your guide to create a loving, safe, and secure foundation to raise your children in!

Sujets

Vie de famille

Parentalité et Éducation des Enfants

Maternité

Parentalité

Family

Psychology

Psychotherapy

Couples

Informations

Publié par	eBookIt.com
Date de parution	09 décembre 2022
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781456639822
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	47 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,1148€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Stronger Together:
A Couple’s Guide to Navigating Your Relationship After Baby

by Zara Arshad, MSc., MFT, RP, PMH-C
Stronger Together: A Couple’s Guide to Navigating Your Relationship After Baby
by Zara Arshad, MSc., MFT, RP, PMH-C
Registered Psychotherapist
Certified Perinatal Mental Health Specialist

Copyright © 2022 Zara Arshad www.myottawatherapist.com
All rights reserved.

You may not copy, duplicate, or distribute this material electronically or physically to share or use for other self-interests unless you have received written permission from the author Zara Arshad, MSc, MFT, RP, PMH-C. You may not forward electronically or physically to other individuals or professionals, or use in personal/professional and/or public presentations, or indicate that you are the original author, or otherwise distribute. You may not take original authorship of this material in any capacity, or share without permission.

Liability Disclaimer
By purchasing this book, you understand that the material is not intended as a mental health treatment plan or counseling advice. Zara Arshad or My Ottawa Therapist are not legally liable for any damages, consequences, negative or otherwise, that may be caused by the information, exercises, ideas, or thoughts shared within this book. Nor is Zara Arshad acting in a therapeutic role for the reader of this information.
For more information and other queries, contact: connect@myottawatherapist.com
Dedication
This is dedicated to new parents who are trying to work through challenges in their relationship while learning to become parents for the first time. To all the couples working hard to improve their relationship with courage and resilience. To my clients who have allowed me the privilege of helping them while also continuously teaching me about life and relationships. Last, but not the least, to my husband and my children. Without your love, patience, and unwavering support, this book would not be possible. I am so grateful for you in my life!
Table of Contents
Introduction
Finding Us
Chapter 1: The Fourth Trimester
What to Expect
Mood Disturbances
How to Improve Postpartum Mood
Reflections
Chapter 2: Attachment Styles and Emotional Needs
Attachment Theory
Identifying Your Attachment Style
Developing Secure Attachment
Identifying Emotional Needs
Building and Maintaining Emotional Connection
Ruptures and Repairs
What Inhibits Emotional Connection?
Reflections
Chapter 3: Communication
Four Common Mistakes in Communication
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling
Self-Regulation
Co-Regulation
Vulnerability
Validation
Pursuer and Withdrawer
Reflections
Chapter 4: Common Postpartum Struggles Experienced by Couples
Adjustment
Division of Labor
Resentment and Loneliness
Different Parenting Styles
Effects of the Pandemic
Conflicting Values
Sex and Intimacy
Relationship Dissatisfaction
Compatibility
Couples Who Are Incompatible
Communication Breakdown
Infertility, Loss, and Grief
Reflections
Chapter 5: Self-Care
What Is Self-Care?
Establishing Boundaries
Boundaries with Yourself
Boundaries with Your Partner
How to Determine Your Boundaries
How to Communicate Boundaries
Unhealthy versus Healthy Boundaries
Negotiating Boundaries
Boundaries in Different Cultures
Boundaries with Family Members
When Boundaries Are Not Respected
Managing Expectations of Yourself
Managing Expectations of Your Partner
Self-Care Plan
Managing Sensory Overload
The Stress Response Cycle
Reducing Self-Doubt and Guilt
Final Thoughts
Reflections
Chapter 6: Resources
Medical Professional
Mental Health Professional
Medication
Infertility and Support Groups
Crisis Hotlines
Canada
United States
Books
Social Media
Websites and Blogs
Workshops
Works Cited
Bio

Introduction
If you are reading this, chances are you have made a decision to invest in the growth of your relationship. As a therapist who specializes in supporting couples navigating their relationship postpartum, I am passionate about helping couples like you develop healthy and secure relationships. While I have written this book for new parents, the contents of this book are relevant to anyone who is in a committed relationship and interested in learning how to improve as a couple.

Before you begin reading the sections in this book, I want to share that I wrote this book keeping my readers in mind who may be new parents. I am aware of the fact you may lack the time and energy needed to read a comprehensive book. For this reason, I have not covered everything there is to know about a couple’s relationship. Rather, I have written about topics that I hope bring the most amount of value to you as you learn to navigate your relationship through the transition into parenthood, or as you await the arrival of your precious baby.

As we move forward on this journey together, it is a privilege to be a part of your relationship’s healing and growth. When you begin the reading and exercises, some of this may feel new and challenging. As you reconnect to yourself and your partner or spouse, there will be moments of vulnerability you may not have experienced within your partnership before. I understand this process, not only in my clinical professional role, but also in my personal role as a wife and a mother.

I can’t tell you why I do what I do without sharing the fact that my parents are divorced. I grew up in a dysfunctional family system which did not provide stability or security. While this had a hand in shaping me into who I am today, it also had a hand in pulling me towards the mental health field. As I grew older and understood the world better, I felt a natural desire to help other individuals and families who may also be struggling.

Fast forward to when I had my own children, I became particularly interested in wanting to help young couples. My interest in young couples began after experiencing postpartum challenges and marital distress of my own. After I gave birth to my sweet son in 2017, I was fortunate to not experience any postpartum mood disorder. I did, however, experience several mental health struggles in the first six months postpartum.

There were many rough days and nights with mixed feelings and tears. My husband couldn’t understand or relate; therefore, he did not know how to help me in the way I needed during those first few months. I felt alone in my physical and emotional pain. I also felt dumbfounded, wondering why nobody had prepared me for this. There was plenty of medical information and physical health resources made available to me, such as follow-up appointments with my doctor, perinatal massages, physiotherapy, yoga, birthing, labor, and breastfeeding classes, and postpartum mommy/baby classes.

But what about postpartum mental health? I did not receive much information on this topic, nor was I provided any resources, nor was there any support forthcoming from anyone around me or in the community.

And then came our adorable daughter in April of 2020. My husband and I struggled in our relationship more than we had after our first child was born. Not only were we parents to a toddler and a newborn, we were also in the start of a global pandemic, completely isolated with no help or break from being parents. As time went on, we found ourselves spinning around, trying to get through each day…and just like that, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months.

We came to a point where we realized that even though we were physically together more than usual, emotionally we were drifting further apart.

From both of my postpartum experiences, I became increasingly aware of two things:

1) There is an incredible lack of mental health support or resources readily available to expecting couples and new parents.

2) It is vitally important for the couple’s relationship to be a source of stability, love, and safety for children.

I knew our marriage had to be the main source of all things good for our children. Our relationship needed to be strong, happy, safe, committed, secure, stable, and connected for our children to feel all those things inside of them. From this place of awareness, I have become passionate about helping other young couples who are either thinking of having children, currently expecting, or have children already.

Through this book, I want to provide enough inspiration, guidance, and practical tools for young couples to feel the push towards strengthening and improving their partnership in the hopes that the tiny beings they wish to bring into their lives are raised in emotionally secure homes. I also hope to encourage couples to strive for healing, improvement, and growth—not perfection. Modeling healthy behavior during or after moments of distress is far more useful than modeling perfection to your children.

I am all too aware how caring for babies or small children and having inadequate sleep can make it difficult for you to learn, retain, and absorb new information. Therefore, I have provided space for your thoughts at the end of each chapter to make it easy for you to remember tools and strategies, and to motivate you to implement the concepts in this book. I encourage you and your partner to jot down notes which can serve as reminders and actionable steps for practicing what you are learning. At the same time, I want to stress the importance of using your judgment before carrying out any ideas presented. This book contains many helpful suggestions, but they are not one-size-fits-all. Even when circumstances are similar, relationships are unique.

I encourage you to trust your intuition and only implement those ideas that feel safe to try in your relationship. If the concepts don’t feel safe, or you need additional support, I recommend seeking individual or couple’s therapy. This bo