Transforming Loneliness , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - Ruth Graham

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136 pages

English

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Description

Loneliness knows no season. It can strike during times of busyness and a full social calendar just as easily as it can when plans are canceled and friends are far off. And we may be surprised just how common loneliness is among our friends, family, and colleagues. But it isn't inevitable and it isn't forever.In Transforming Loneliness, Graham invites you to surrender your loneliness to God and work with Him in making healthy choices that lead to life, joy, and community. Through biblical principles and examples, along with true-life stories, you will discover how the core needs that drive your loneliness--the need to be known, to be chosen, to belong, and to be valued--can be met as God transforms your loneliness into a positive experience that accomplishes His purposes and draws you into a closer, more intimate, and more meaningful relationship with Him and others.Loneliness is not the last word. God designed you for connection, and through his power you will find it. Includes a reader's discussion guide and the UCLA Loneliness Survey.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	14 septembre 2021
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781493432851
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	5 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0552€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Endorsements
“We all experience loneliness. In this book Ruth Graham, drawing on her own experiences and biblical narrative, shows how God can transform our loneliness into a positive experience that draws us into a closer, more meaningful relationship with Him.”
Mark Batterson , New York Times bestselling author of The Circle Maker ; lead pastor of National Community Church
“This book is a perfect, timely, beautiful gift. Many of us experience loneliness yet struggle to be able to say that out loud. I know I have. Ruth gives words to our pain and comfort to our souls and helps us see that our God who transforms everything offered to Him can transform our loneliness too.”
Sheila Walsh , cohost of Life Today ; author of Holding On When You Want To Let Go
“ Loneliness is a word that often causes us to wince or change the subject. It can be a highly painful and empty experience of the heart, and research shows that today it is far more common than we have ever known. However, Ruth Graham’s book provides a fresh and helpful biblical lens on the concept, which is that loneliness can actually be a path to something much greater, and more purposeful, than we ever imagined. Her deeply vulnerable stories, scriptural principles, and practical steps will change you forever. Highly recommended.”
John Townsend , PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Boundaries ; founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling
“To any of us—and indeed, all of us—who have experienced lonely times, I am delighted to recommend Ruth Graham’s latest book. In it she invites us to cooperate with God as He transforms our loneliness into something that meets our needs and brings Him glory.”
Dr. Eric L. Motley , author of Madison Park: A Place of Hope ; executive vice president of the Aspen Institute, Washington, DC
“My dear friend Ruth Graham has written a timely book that sheds light on the continuously growing issue of loneliness, which at some point will be a struggle for every person. Ruth courageously shares her personal battle with loneliness and offers valuable insight on how we can work with God instead of against Him in our loneliest times. Get ready to experience how God can purpose loneliness for His Kingdom plans!”
Dr. Benny Tate Sr., pastor of Rock Springs Church, Milner, GA
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2021 by Ruth Graham
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2021
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-3285-1
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations labeled NKJV are from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
The author is represented by Ambassador Literary Agency, Nashville, Tennessee.
Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
Dedication

For you
Contents
Cover
Endorsements 1
Title Page 3
Copyright Page 4
Dedication 5
1. The Pelican in the Wilderness 9
2. The One Who Sees 27
3. The Best of Company 43
4. The Well-Kept Secret 55
5. The Dark Side of Loneliness 81
6. The Transformation of Loneliness 97
7. The Treasures of Solitude 115
8. The Cultivation of Solitude 131
9. The Choice to REACH 145
10. The Affirmation of Being Chosen 163
11. The Comfort of Being Known 181
12. The Security of Belonging 199
13. The Assurance of Being Loved 217
14. The Purpose and the Promise 237
Appendix A The Most Important Friendship 251
Appendix B The UCLA Loneliness Scale (Version 3) 253
Appendix C Prayers and Verses for the Lonely 255
Appendix D Reader’s Discussion Guide 265
Acknowledgments 273
Notes 276
Back Ads 285
Cover Flaps 288
Back Cover 289
Epigraph
Loneliness is a wilderness, but through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God, and offering it back to Him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory, and to God Himself.
Elisabeth Elliot
1 The Pelican in the Wilderness
Loneliness . . . comes mostly when we are disconnected from others in such a way that we feel ignored, overlooked, or not known as we really are. It is the painful ache in our hearts for intimate connection, belonging, and companionship.
Trevor Hudson 1
I woke to the familiar sounds of the hospital—distant beeping, footsteps in the hallway, muffled voices from the nearby nurses’ station, and the constant white noise I could never quite identify. I opened my eyes to the same scene I’d been staring at for five days—white ceiling tiles covered with little black holes too numerous to count. My back ached and I longed to roll over onto my side but knew I could not. The doctor had told me to stay flat on my back, and I wasn’t about to risk another wave of nausea or the sharp pains of another severe headache. I longed for some water to wet my lips. I could see the cup of water on the bed table next to me, but it was out of my reach without sitting up and I dared not. I just need to wait for the nurse , I thought. It shouldn’ t be long. But the minutes passed slowly.
I was all alone.
Of course, I knew God was present with me. He always is. But the simple reality was that I longed for the physical presence of a caring person—someone to hold my cup so I could take a few satisfying swallows. Someone to pull my blanket a bit higher and pat my arm or squeeze my hand and remind me that my condition was just temporary—that the doctors would figure out the source of my problem and set me on the path of recovery.
A sad longing crept over me.
It wasn’t just that I was alone. I was used to being alone. I’d been single for years and was used to the silence and fending for myself that comes with living in a single-person household. No, the longing I felt went beyond that of simply being alone . I was lonely. And loneliness is a feeling that goes far deeper than missing the presence of another person. It is an ache, a deep longing to feel connected, validated, seen, known, and valued. The longing I was feeling, I realized at that moment, wasn’t going to be satisfied by the nurse who would soon offer me fresh water, straighten my sheets, and give me the medicine that would relieve the growing, throbbing pain in my head. My loneliness wouldn’t be satisfied until Noelle and Windsor, my two daughters, walked into my room and I saw their smiling, loving faces even as they teased me, and until one of them handed me the phone and I heard the steady “I’m here, Mom,” from Graham, my son. That deep connection to my children—that experience of being cared for and valued—would help chase away the sad loneliness that had been brewing not only for the past five days in the hospital but for many months before I’d been admitted.
For years I’d had back pain but no clue as to the cause. Then I began to walk like I was drunk, lose my balance, and even fall. Embarrassing and dangerous. I went to chiropractors, orthopedists, psychiatrists, and neurologists. I was told it may be Parkinson’s. Since my father had Parkinson’s, that concerned me, but a neurologist could not see anything wrong. Though relieved my symptoms didn’t seem to be due to Parkinson’s, I was very frustrated and discouraged. Finally, another neurologist did an MRI and discovered I had a tumor growing in my spinal column. It had to come out.
I was thankful to finally have the reason for my pain identified, though I was apprehensive about surgery. I asked for the best neurosurgeon around and found a wonderful doctor at Virginia Commonwealth University, about two hours from my home. All three children came to see me off. Noelle lived near me, but Graham and Windsor lived many hours away. We had a big family dinner the night before, and the next morning my two daughters drove me to Richmond while my son stayed back to do some needed chores at my home.
It was a four-hour surgery and all went well. Afterward, the girls went home to their families. I was alone and in pain but well taken care of by the staff at the hospital. I was there for four days, then went home. The girls argued their best to have someone come take care of me, but I am stubborn and independent and did not want that. I’d tried my best before the surgery to put up meals and arrange my kitchen so that I would not have to bend, lift, or twist. A home healthcare nurse came each day to check on me, as well as physical therapists. I progressed, but between the pain and fatigue, I did not feel well.
About a month later, I observed a small swelling at the base of my incision. It grew to the size of an egg. My eldest daughter, Noelle, who is a nurse, took a look at it and didn’t like it. I called the doctor the next day. They asked me to send a picture to them, which I did, and they told me to lay flat for three days and then call them back. Nothing changed. They told me to stay on my back another two days. Still nothing changed. By this ti