That's My Teenage Son , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - Rick Johnson

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124 pages

English

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The teen years are a vital stage for a boy as he develops into a man. But these years can also make moms feel like they have lost influence in their sons' lives. Friends and media pull one way while Mom pulls the other. How can a mom be sure she is doing everything she can to help her son grow into a mature and responsible adult?A follow-up to the popular That's My Son, this book helps moms use their considerable influence to help their teenage boys become good men. Moms will learn aboutthe emotional life of their boyswhat changes are taking place in their bodieshow to help them develop healthy sexualitywhat boys fear mostwhat traits they need to learn to grow into good menhow to communicate with themand how to positively influence their spiritualityEvery mother of teen boys will find this a welcome guide and a source of encouragement during the tumultuous years when their boys are growing into men.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 juillet 2005
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441214232
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0432€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

COVER PAGE
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT PAGE

© 2011 by Rick Johnson
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2010
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-1423-2
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group, Ltd., 10152 S. Knoll Circle, Highlands Ranch, CO 80130.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
DEDICATION

To Frank— “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
C ONTENTS

Cover Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction: One Foot in the World of Boys and One Foot in the World of Manhood
1. His Changing Body and Mind: What Happened to My Little Boy?
2. Communicating with Teen Boys: Speaking His Language
3. Mom and Son: What Young Men Need from Mom
4. Dad and Son: What Young Men Need from Dad
5. Healthy Masculinity: The Marks of Manhood
6. Emotions: Developing a Healthy Emotional Life
7. Dangers: There Be Dragons
8. Develping Healthy Sexuality
9. Spiritual Legacy: Of Gods and Monsters
10. Building Character for a Lifetime
11. Self-Discipline: Train Him Up in the Way . . .
12. Leadership: Teaching Your Son to Be a Leader
13. Things Your Son Needs to Know to Court My Daughter
Notes
About the Author
Books by Author
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS

S O MANY PEOPLE make writing a book possible. Thanks to my awesome editor, Dr. Vicki Crumpton, and my favorite in-house editor, Barb “How Does She Do That?” Barnes. Not only are they smarter than me, but they willingly make me look good (which is really important by my way of thinking), all without even taking any of the credit. I also appreciate all the great people at Revell and Baker Publishing Group who work so hard to produce and sell my books. There are too many to list, but please know that I do appreciate each and every one of you.
Thanks to all the people who support me behind the scenes and help make our ministry possible. Whether you are a donor, a volunteer, a member of our prayer team, or on my advisory board, please know that Suzanne and I thank God for your presence in our lives every day. Without your generous partnership, we could not touch the lives of so many people around the world. I am honored by your faithfulness.
Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee—and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength. Then, I . . . will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain.”
General Douglas MacArthur
Many people have said to me, “What a pity you had such a big family to raise. Think of the novels and the short stories and the poems you never had time to write because of that.” And I looked at my children and I said, “These are my poems. These are my short stories.”
Olga Masters

Of all the animals, the boy is most unmanageable.
Plato
I NTRODUCTION

One Foot in the World of Boys and One Foot in the World of Manhood
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Martin Mull
I MAGINE YOU’RE SITTING inside a darkened movie theater. The smell of popcorn fills the air and your shoes stick to the cola-covered floor. Girls huddle together giggling in the front rows while boys make noise and show off in the back. As the lights dim and the movie trailer starts, you hear a deep bass voice booming out of the darkness, “Imagine a world where a teenage son comes home from school and does his homework, always gets good grades, cleans his room without being nagged, has wholesome friends, regularly showers and wears clean clothes, and willingly attends church.” All the parents of teenage boys in the audience gasp in wonder. A few moms faint at the very thought of such a boy, and even a dad or two wipes a tear from the corner of his eye.
Sounds like a fantasy movie, doesn’t it? Some of you might think you entered The Twilight Zone . I suppose there are some kids like that, but that hasn’t been my reality nor that of most people I know who live with a teenage son. I know some parents whose sons excelled in academics, sports, and every other imaginable extracurricular activity. Some of them went on to attend Ivy League colleges, prestigious military academies, or some other high-achieving endeavor. From outside appearances they appeared to be the perfect kids. Subsequent results proved that not all of them succeeded as well as would be anticipated. But it was enough to make me question occasionally whether or not I was a good parent.
In reality, most of the teenage sons of people I know have struggles and are less than perfect. They act out or rebel by doing stuff like getting body parts pierced, cutting or dyeing their hair into weird looks, getting tattooed, and wearing ridiculous clothing. Many get into their fair share of trouble; some even drop out of school, take drugs, have sex outside of marriage, or lie, cheat, and steal. Frequently when our kids “perform” at a less-than-perfect level, we feel like failures. The teenage years can be a frustrating time in parents’ lives. Especially for moms of sons, this time can be confusing, exasperating, and exhilarating all at the same time.
The other reality is that most of the time we are crazy about this boy who holds so much of our hopes and dreams. We love his good habits, like when he does something remarkably responsible without being told. Or when he says, “Mom, I love you” for no reason at all. His expressions of affection become more treasured as they become less frequent. When he shows courage and honesty, we swell with pride. Our heart melts at the way he looks when the light hits his face just right and we see the handsome man he will someday become.
As parents, we all want the best for our children. We want them to grow up to be healthy, happy, and productive citizens and people. We want them to marry well, have happy children, and live lives of contentment and rich blessings.
The teenage years are a time of incredible growth and change. But this is also a time of incredible opportunity to shape and develop our sons’ character. In a few short years our sons go from being little boys to being men. Biological, emotional, and physiological changes are taking place in your son that seem straight out of a science fiction or horror movie (sort of like when Lon Chaney Jr. turns into the Wolfman). It is amazing the amount of changes that take place in this very short period of time.
I appreciate and enjoy boys—even teenage boys. Boys are fun to raise, to work with, to play with, and to just be around. They attack life with an exhilarating exuberance. Their physicality and the headlong dash in the way they throw themselves at the world is exciting to watch and be a part of. Healthy boys are life giving and fun loving.
Our son and daughter, now adults, were born twenty months apart. That means we had teenagers and other creatures going through some form of adolescence roaming around our home for close to a decade (although it sure seemed longer). I remember it as a time of great pandemonium interspersed with brief periods of sanity and calm introspection—probably similar to the enormously noisy chaos and violent upheavals that occurred during the creation of the earth. Despite all that, it may have been the most enjoyable period of raising our children. It certainly proved to be the most challenging!
At various times throughout the teenage years, one child or the other was involved in the following activities (the names and sexes have been omitted to protect the guilty, and though we have only two children, I’ll simply refer to “another” child throughout): While my wife and I were away at a Bible study retreat, one child “stole” my wife’s brand-new sports car and went for a joy ride—at age fifteen! Luckily, sibling rivalry was stronger than loyalty and the other child “ratted” the perpetrator out with a quick phone call—prompting us to leave for home early. Another loaded up our minivan with their “posse” and was involved in an auto accident in a seriously bad part of town. Still another was chased down by a baseball-bat-wielding lunatic who smashed out the front windshield of our car. Another snuck out in the mi