Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality (Pure Foundations) , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - Jim Burns

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72 pages

English

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Trusted family authority provides a simple and practical guide for parents to help their children develop a healthy perspective regarding their bodies and sexuality.

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Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 juin 2008
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441204370
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0432€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN HEALTHY SEXUALITY
JIM BURNS

TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN HEALTHY SEXUALITY

A BIBLICAL APPROACH TO PREPARE THEM FOR LIFE
Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality Copyright © 2008 by Jim Burns
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan. www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2010
Ebook corrections 3.20.2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means for example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-0437-0
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. ® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified NKJV are from the New King James Version of the Bible. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Books by
Jim Burns
F ROM B ETHANY H OUSE P UBLISHERS
Accept Nothing Less
Closer (with Cathy Burns)
Confident Parenting *
Creating an Intimate Marriage *
God Made Your Body
How God Makes Babies
The Purity Code
Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality * †
* Audio CD; DVD & Curriculum Kit also available
† Parents’ Kit also available: The Purity Code,
Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality,
and special Audio Resource CD
To Jon Wallace
You are a friend closer than a brother. You have left your footprints on my heart, and I will never, ever be the same. Thank you for your leadership, friendship, integrity, and fully committed life. You inspire me!
Thank you . . .
Cindy Ward . . . for your incredible partnership in ministry. You make a difference every day in the lives of people. You live out your faith and values as strongly as anyone I have ever known. Thank you for being such an inspiration.
Bill Bauer . . . for the wisdom you bring and the generosity you share.
Randy Bramel, Terry Hartshorn, Tom Purcell, and Bucky Oltmans . . . Tuesday mornings are always a highlight of the week.
The HomeWord Staff . . . Your dedication is nothing short of miraculous, plus you make HomeWord a fun place to spend several hours a day. Thank you to Aubrey Ashford, Bill Bauer, Dean Bruns, Ben Camp, Emily De La Torre, Rosalie De Santis, Lindsey DeVito, Ted Evans, Brent Ferguson, Dave Hamilton, Betty Harper, Judy Hedgren, Kendall Hops, Kathy Kappauf, Jim Liebelt, Roger Marsh, Linda McKinley, Megan Michaelson, Mary Perdue, Andrea Popkes, Susan Rettino, Wayne Rice, Scott Singletary, Melinda Sylstra, Ann Trotter, and Derek Yankoff.
Howard and Roberta Ahmanson . . . the dream for an entire Pure Foundations campaign was birthed at the Willard Hotel in Washington, D. C., with you. Thank you so much for all you do to make a difference. God bless you.
The HomeWord Board . . . There is not a more generous and encouraging board in the universe. Thank you to Jeff Armour, Steve Arterburn, Randy Bramel, Susan Bramel, Todd Dean, Pam Emery, Rod Emery, Rick Haugen, Bob Howard, David Lane, Kelly Mitchell, Geoff Moore, Lucie Moore, Gordon Schaller, and Jon Wallace.
Cathy Burns . . . Your sacrificial love, commitment, and partnership in helping this generation of parents and kids not settle for mediocrity is nothing short of miraculous. I am grateful you said yes.
Christy, Rebecca, Heidi, and Dave . . . my daughters and new son-in-law are the delight of my life.
Virginia . . . Dad called you his angel and he was so right.
Special thanks to my dad for everything! Dad passed into eternity during the writing of this book. I am a deeply grateful son.
I am a man most blessed.
Contents
Chapter One: Teaching Your Kids Value-Centered Sexuality
Chapter Two: Building a Foundation to Teach the Purity Code
Chapter Three: Helping Your Kids Set Standards
Chapter Four: How and When to Talk With Your Kids About Sex and Sexuality
Chapter Five: Sex Outside of Marriage: Choices and Consequences
Chapter Six: Sexual Abuse: Prevention and Help
Chapter Seven: Dealing With Your Own Sexuality
Chapter Eight: Questions and Answers
Chapter Nine: Discussion Starters and Faith Conversations
Notes
CHAPTER ONE Teaching Your Kids Value-Centered Sexuality
“How many of you received healthy, value-centered sex education from your parents growing up?” It’s a question I ask parents everywhere. And the response is always the same. In a gathering of, say, four hundred people, usually four will raise their hands. It doesn’t matter where I am speaking in a church or another place the ratio is consistent.
It’s true: Our parents didn’t talk to us about healthy sexuality, and, unfortunately, we’re not doing much better with own children. A vast majority of young people say they receive more information about sexuality from their friends, media, and school than from their own home. This is not good news, especially when all studies show that the more positive, value-centered sex education kids receive in their home, the less promiscuous they will be.
A parent is almost always the person who has the best interest of their child in mind when it comes to sexuality. And you and I have the opportunity to provide our children healthy, value-centered sex education that is based on what God values. He has given us our sexuality. In the framework of Scripture, sex is not dirty. In the context of marriage it is rather beautiful. The world’s culture has cheapened sex, but God’s view of sexuality is wonderful and magnificent.
Frankly, it’s not the primary job of schools to teach morals and values, and it definitely shouldn’t be left to the latest rock star or media magnate. And friends? I now laugh out loud at what my friends told me in the fifth grade about the birds and the bees. Talk about wrong and misguided information.
Even though this generation of parents typically wants to do a better job of communication, too many well-meaning moms and dads are remaining silent for too long. Most didn’t have a healthy conversation about sexuality modeled for them. They are afraid that talking about “it” will rob their children of their sexual innocence, or their children’s sexual desires might be awakened early. Some parents avoid bringing up the subject because they might be asked about their experiences, and they aren’t all that proud of how they handled their own sexuality. Regardless, the best person to teach your children about sexuality and relationships is you!
The Goal: A Lifetime of Sexual Integrity
For many parents, the foremost goal is to do everything possible to make sure their child stays pure until his or her wedding day. This is wonderful, but I believe we can and should do much more for our children. We can help establish in them lasting sexual integrity that starts at a young age and extends throughout their entire life, guiding their self-image, how they treat members of the opposite sex, and how they view and enjoy intimacy in marriage, as well as how resolute they are to remain faithful in mind and body. I compare it to teaching our children healthy eating habits. We certainly want them to eat their broccoli, whole grain breads, and other good things while living at home, but more than anything, we want them to continue reaping and enjoying the benefits of eating healthy after they have moved out.
This kind of a core belief in sexual integrity doesn’t come from a one-time conversation or a sex education class. It develops as parents instruct, dialogue, and model a life of value-centered sexuality. When I talk with young people who have grown up with sexual integrity, they almost always mention having ongoing conversations with their parents that at least most of the time felt very natural. No matter what the age, kids learn best when they talk and dialogue, not just when parents lecture.
Scott and Anne came to me for premarital counseling. They had both previously been in my youth group. During one session we talked about sexuality. I was pleased to hear they were both virgins; this is usually not the case today, even among Christians. I asked how they had chosen sexual integrity when most of their generation had not. Their answer was insightful. First, they said their parents had talked openly and freely about sex-related issues. Secondly, while in the high school youth group, they had taken a sexual purity pledge very seriously. Thirdly, although they did have a strong sex drive and it had not been easy to wait, they both had made a decision to practice the spiritual discipline of sexual abstinence. Personally, I have found that when young people like Scott and Anne commit to only the physical discipline of sexual abstinence, they do not do as well as those who honor and love God with their eyes, mind, and heart, as well as their body. This all-out commitment to sexual purity is living according to what I call the Purity Code (explained in more detail in chapter 2).
Scott and Anne’s wedding was a joyous occasion, and I made it a point to thank both sets of parents for the incredible start they had given the young couple. The parents laughed and said it wasn’t always easy. In fact, the