Single Men Are Like Waffles--Single Women Are Like Spaghetti , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - Bill Farrel

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142 pages

English

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With its lively new cover, this specially focused complement to Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti, guides singles through the journey of developing and maintaining healthy relationships with members of the opposite sex. This book offers valuable insight for single men and women as they learn to...work together more effectivelysocialize with each other more enjoyablydate one another more successfullyDiscussion topics and activities for small groups are included, as well as a ten-week study guide for couples dating seriously.

Informations

Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 janvier 2008
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736939027
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0692€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Bill and Pam Farrel

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. The NIV and New International Version trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society.
Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible , 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Verses marked T HE M ESSAGE are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.
Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible , Copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NCV are taken from The Holy Bible, New Century Version, Copyright 1987, 1988, 1991 by Word Publishing, Nashville, TN 37214. Used by permission.
Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Ste 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Cover illustration Krieg Barrie
Cover by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon
SINGLE MEN ARE LIKE WAFFLES-SINGLE WOMEN ARE LIKE SPAGHETTI
Copyright 2002 by Bill and Pam Farrel
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN-13: 978-0-7369-2249-4 ISBN-10: 0-7369-2249-0
The Library of Congress has cataloged the edition as follows:
Farrel, Bill, 1959-
Single men are like waffles, single women are like spaghetti / Bill and Pam Farrel.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN-13: 978-0-7369-0280-9
ISBN-10: 0-7369-0280-5
1. Single people-Religious life. 2. Man-woman relationships-Religious aspects-Christianity. I. Farrel, Pam, 1959- II. Title.
BV4596.S5 F365 2002
248.8 4-dc21
2002003621
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
08 09 11 12 13 14 15 16 / VP-MS / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To Jeff and Micky
The singles at NorthCoast Church are fortunate to have you as shepherds over their hearts, and we are fortunate to have you as friends.
To all the singles who gave their valuable insights and opinions, may God bless your lives as you have been a blessing to so many.
Contents
1. Male and Female He Created Them
2. Don t Overcook Communication
3. Waffles and Spaghetti at Work
4. Relationship Ready
5. The Waffle Warrior
6. The Pasta Princess
7. Waffles and Spaghetti in Love
8. The Social Life of Waffles and Spaghetti
9. Waffles, Spaghetti, and Kids
10. God Loves Waffles and Spaghetti
Discussion Questions for Small Groups
Dates to Decide: A Ten-Week Bible Study with Discussion Questions for Seriously Dating Couples
Notes
Other Books by Bill and Pam Farrel
About the Authors
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
-Genesis 1:27
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
-Romans 15:7
1

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
-A LBERT C AMUS
Male and Female He Created Them
A t the very beginning of history God said, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:26-27).
It was in God s plan from the moment He imagined us to make us different from each other. Our differences can be a starting point for building fulfilling relationships. Unfortunately, what was intended to be an advantage often turns out to be a universal source of frustration. Because we are all experientially familiar with the turmoil of relationships, we easily laugh at stories like this one:
Mel s son rushed in the door. Dad! Dad! he announced. I got a part in the school play!
That s terrific, Mel said proudly. What part is it?
I play the part of the dad.
Mel thought this over. Go back tomorrow, he instructed, and tell them you want a speaking role. 1
Despite the frustration, the vast majority of us have an undeniable desire to have great relationships with the opposite sex. We want both male and female friends; we want successful business relationships with both men and women; and we want to meet just the right person, fall in love, and live happily ever after.
But many singles have become frustrated trying to bridge the gender gap. We asked some singles to suggest titles for this book. Here are a few of the responses:
Why Aren t You Married Yet?
Why Should I Make the First Move?
Danger! Caution! Ouch!
It s Not That Bad if You Know What You re Getting Into!
Good Luck! You ll Need It!
It s Not Me - It s You!
It s Going to Take a Lot More Than a Book to Help Me!
Is This as Good as It Gets?
Hold Your Nose and Jump In
It Doesn t Have to be Terrible
Face It - There s No One for You!
You re Not Alone!
It s a Whole New World!
I Stink at Dating!
Shouldn t I Be Married by Now?
But All My Friends Are Married
Stick a Fork in My Eye (And 100 Other Fun Things to Do on a Friday Night)
How to Scare a Great Person Away After Just One Date
Seems the emotions are running high in this whole guy-girl thing. One suggested title sums up the ultimate question rather succinctly: Can Male/Female Relationships Really Work in the New Millennium?
The answer, of course, is yes.
How is a bit more difficult.
Knowing that men and women are so different, how can you have healthy, happy relationships with the opposite sex that actually work? And how can you create an atmosphere in your life that helps you relate to someone of the opposite sex-someone who might turn into the love of your life?
Although it s possible to make too much out of the differences between men and women, it s also possible to not make enough out of the differences. If you want to have relationships that add to your life rather than make you exhausted, the best place to start is with an understanding of the basic uniqueness each gender brings to relationships.
Dive into the Differences
So how are you to understand the differences between men and women? Put simply: Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti. At first, this may seem silly, but stay with us. It s an analogy that works, and men get it (because it involves food).
Men Are like Waffles
By this statement we don t mean that men waffle on decisions and are generally unstable. What we mean is that men process life in boxes. If you look at a waffle, you see a collection of boxes separated by walls. The boxes are all separate from each other and make convenient holding places. These boxes resemble how a man typically processes life. His thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one issue and one issue only. The first issue of life goes in the first box, the second goes in the second box, and so on. The typical man then spends time in one box at a time and one box only. When a man is at work, he s at work. When he s in the garage tinkering around, he s in the garage tinkering. When he s watching TV, he s simply watching TV. That s why he can look like he s in a trance and ignore everything else going on around him. Social scientists call this compartmentalizing -putting life and responsibilities into different compartments.
As a result of experiencing life in boxes, men are by nature problem solvers. They enter a box, size up the problem that exists, and formulate a solution. In their careers, they consider what it will take to be successful, and they focus on it. In communication, they look for the bottom line and get there as quickly as possible. In decision-making, they look for an approach they can buy into and apply as often as possible.
A man will strategically organize his life in boxes and then spend most of his time in the boxes he can succeed in. This is such a strong motivation that he will seek out the boxes that work and ignore the boxes that confuse him or make him feel like a failure. For instance, a man whose career holds the possibility of success will spend more and more time at work at the expense of other priorities. On the other hand, a man who always falls short at work or feels he never meets the expectations of those around him may find out that he s pretty good at being lazy. He will then develop a commitment to being lazy because he knows he can do that today with the same proficiency as yesterday.
A man also takes a success approach to communication. If he believes he can successfully talk with the opposite sex and reach a desirable outcome, he will be highly motivated to converse. If, on the other hand, conversation seems pointless or women seem impossible to understand, he loses his motivation to talk and clams up. Hanging out with the guys can become a pattern for men-sometimes they truly enjoy the male bonding, but other times they re avoiding the consistent conversation women often enjoy.
That s why men say such profound things as, Is there any point to this conversation? Is this conversation leading anywhere? Can you just get to the point? These are statements a man makes out of frustration because he doesn t know how to make conversation with the women in his life work.
The success drive is also why men find it so easy to develop hobbies that consume their time. If a man finds something he does well, it makes him feel good about himself and about his life. Because men tend to be good with mechanical an