Reluctant Entertainer , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - Sandy Coughlin

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119 pages

English

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Hospitality can be a blessing to both the host and her guests, but for many women today, it simply doesn't happen. Feelings of inadequacy, unrealistic expectations, fear of failure, lack of time--all conspire to steal the joy that comes from opening one's home and sharing fellowship with others. In The Reluctant Entertainer, Sandy Coughlin relates to people in real ways about real meals that mortals cook, during which real conversations draw people together. Would-be hostesses will discover that true hospitality is not about being perfect, cooking a fancy meal, or spending a lot of money. Rather, it's about an open door and an open heart.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 août 2010
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441212153
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0518€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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the reluctant entertainer
every woman s guide to simple and gracious hospitality

The Reluctant Entertainer Copyright 2010 Sandy Coughlin
Cover design by Brand Navigation Interior design by Melinda Schumacher
Scripture quotations taken from The Message . Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
E-book edition created 2011
ISBN 978-1-4412-1215-3
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
Beyond words, my mother, Millie, gave me the foundation for living a hospitable life. From the day I was born, she taught me about love, hospitality, and people. The night she left this world has forever left a hole in my heart.
Auntie Ellen was my Balcony Girl in life, encouraging and cheering me on. She taught me about creativity, how to make people feel special, and the importance of making memories. Your red lipstick made a statement, Auntie Ellen, just as your life was a bright inspiration!
Sandy Coughlin is creator of the popular blog Reluctant Entertainer, which she began in 2006 to help women get past their entertaining fears. Sandy has appeared on nationally broadcast television and radio programs, is a frequent contributor to Crosswalk.com , and has blogged for SCJohnson.com , AWomanInspiredConference.com , Kyria.com , and other online publications. A busy mom of three teenagers, Sandy is active in various volunteer organizations, and she enjoys ballroom dancing, hosting parties, cooking, and running. Sandy is married to Paul, and the family practices hospitality in their hometown of Medford, Oregon.
Visit Sandy s blog at ReluctantEntertainer.com .
CONTENTS
1 . Real Entertaining for Real People
2 . Joy Busters and Joy Building
3 . Overcoming the Pitfalls of Perfectionism
4 . Simplifying Entertaining
5 . Discovering Your Inner Martha
6 . Engaging the Five Senses
7 . The Heart of Hospitality: Conversation
8 . More Than Dinner Parties: Deeper Connections
9 . From Reluctant to Gracious Living
Appendix: Pantry Talk
Appendix: Recipes
Acknowledgments
Bibliography

1 Real Entertaining for Real People

Okay, ladies, let s have a show of hands. Everyone who feels like they just don t have what it takes to pull off a successful meal or a party in your home, raise your hand. I see your nervous hands! Now, everyone who feels totally at ease and 100 percent sure of yourself as a hostess, raise your confident hand . Um, where did the hands go?
I know the reasons why those hands stay stuck to our sides. I also know the simple steps necessary to fix this growing problem that keeps us and our families isolated instead of connected-alone instead of together. Through my blog, Reluctant Entertainer, I have helped women across the country transform from a reluctant entertainer to a confident one.
One of the main reasons we remain reluctant and isolated is that we have bought in to the thinking that perfection is required in order to be hospitable. This belief is a mistake I once held, which I realized after eating dinner at a friend s house.
As a young mother with a baby on the way, I was apprehensive when my husband, Paul, came home from work and informed me that we were going to the home of a new artist friend of Paul s for dinner. Because I didn t know the family, I felt nervous. But as one I walked into their home, I realized it was . . . normal. It actually was a little chaotic, as four small children ran around in the usual sequence of life.

My senses kicked into high gear as I smelled the incredible aroma of garlic fresh bread. Right away I felt at home. We and fresh bread. Right away I felt at home. We sat down to a feast of some of the best Italian cooking I ve ever tasted. The hostess was gorgeous inside and out. Her dark Italian eyes were piercing, and her smile welcoming. Her hair was long and mussed up, and I don t even remember her clothing, but I do remember the glow about her as she served us.
I realized later that our conversation was different from what I had experienced at many social events. It was real. I thought, These people are not trying to impress. They truly cared about us, about our family and our lives. Even though their home seemed slightly out of order, they knew the true meaning of hospitality: It s a matter of the heart. They understood people and connection. They took these essential ingredients of hospitality and put them to use. They understood that hospitality is unique to rebuilding communities, restoring relationships, and reviving families.
GLUE THAT CONNECTS
What a lesson for me. Little did I know how that meal would shape my thinking and help me become more flexible. As I watched the dynamics of this home and the love that flowed-while kids ran everywhere and dishes stacked up by the sink-I realized hospitality doesn t have to be perfect, it just needs to be from the heart. It s the glue that connects us with each other.
I love to share this story to point out that hospitality comes in different shapes and sizes. To some it may mean an elaborate dinner party. To others it s a casual party with kids underfoot. And to some others it may mean opening their home to out-of-town company or taking cookies to a neighbor. Understanding people is an art in itself, and it s a big piece of the pie when it comes to simple acts of kindness that you can offer to anyone.
When I think about the core of hospitality, I think of this statement from Chuck Swindoll s book Dropping Your Guard :
It is only when I share life s experiences with others that I can enjoy them or endure them to the greatest advantage. You see, having a relationship calls for being in fellowship with others, and that cannot be done very easily at arm s length. It implies getting in touch, feeling the hurts, being an instrument of encouragement and healing. Fences must come down. Masks need to come off. Welcome signs need to be hung outside the door. Keys to the locks in our lives must be duplicated and distributed. Bridges need to be lowered that allow others to cross the moat and then share our joys and our sorrows. (emphasis added)

Paul and I have experienced hospitality many times around our table. We are always amazed at how God works through food, conversation, authenticity, and laughter. Hospitality is not just a potluck dish. It s about relating to people on a deeper level in a way that reflects your life and style while forming stronger bonds. Hospitality happens over real meals that are cooked by real people, and draws people from the cold world of isolation and into the warmth of connection and friendship. I know because it happens in our home over and over.
So when did we determine that entertaining requires perfection? Is that really what hospitality is all about?
Don t let pie-in-the-sky perfectionism haunt you! Instead of allowing the food, the table setting, and your home to be the focus of your entertaining, put your guests first. Your surroundings will become less significant. You ll experience greater community, deeper friendships, and a wider support structure. You ll benefit from the realization that the joy of giving is much stronger than the joy of receiving. And it s not as hard as you might think.
You will no longer say, Hospitality just isn t my gift. You will be enthused as you discover that gracious living is the butter on the warm bread of common life.
HOSPITALITY ROOTS

I was fortunate growing up, because my mother passed on to me the gift of loving people through hospitality. And her love for people came from her mom, my Grandma Dubs. When I was a little girl, my grandma told me stories of feeding the hungry during the Great Depression.
Grandma and Grandpa owned a trailer park where they willingly shared food with strangers who would come and go. They d also share a strong cup of coffee and a bit of encouragement from Grandma s deep Christian faith, then send them on their way. Reaching out to strangers came easily to Grandma because she had promised herself she would be good to others and wise with what she was given. Both sets of my grandparents were great examples of being hospitable people, and my parents reaped the blessings.

My mom, Millie, passed down the torch of loving others as she started her own family and practiced hospitality along with my dad. Mom didn t get caught up in over-commitments or in impressing others with over-the-top entertaining. She didn t rely on television shows or magazines to improve her entertaining skills. Her simple china, a Betty Crocker cookbook, a couple of aprons, and some linens for the table were just about all she needed. Mom knew what reaching out to others was about: simplicity and love.
When Mom passed away thirteen years ago, she was remembered for her love for people and reaching out. The art of hospitality was just a way of life for her.
For some women, hospitality is very natural. For others, it takes work and effort. But for all of us, it must be cultivated so that it can become a channel for amazing experiences. It s exciting when you can step outside of your fears and into the realm of putting others first