Raising the Challenging Child , livre ebook

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149 pages

English

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What's the worst you've ever faced as a parent? An all-out tantrum at the mall? A son who won't take out his earbuds to listen to you? A daughter who's failing at school and won't do her homework? A teen who constantly breaks curfew? A call from the police? Whatever you're dealing with, Raising the Challenging Child will help.Building on their work at Chaddock, a nonprofit organization that has worked with some of the most challenging kids in the nation for more than 150 years, the authors empower frustrated parents with practical tips and real-life examples on how to - minimize behavioral meltdowns- reduce conflict- increase cooperation- promote healthy attachment- improve family relationshipsThe strategies they share work both for the child who is going through a difficult phase brought on by life disruption or trauma, and for the child who faces chronic struggles. Parents, teachers, and those who work with children and youth will find positive, practical steps they can start taking today in order to understand and address the baffling behavior of the child under their care.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	07 janvier 2020
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781493421206
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0360€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Endorsements
“I strongly recommend this book. The authors present a clear and lively guide to parenting based on their many years’ experience working with challenging children, along with their extensive understanding of the latest research and thinking in the field of developmental psychology and therapeutic treatment. This book will be welcomed by all parents who struggle to connect with, support, and guide their children through the challenging moments and who hope to create a warm and understanding relationship with their children.”
Phyllis Booth , MA, LMFT, LCPC, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor
While the tips and tools offered in Raising the Challenging Child are based on the latest brain research and evidence-based practices, the authors translate the theory with real-life examples. Parents will love the practical and proven “If you’ve tried this . . . do/say this instead” suggestions. The approaches offered in this book are ones that parents will return to again and again.
Amy McCready , founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and author of The “ Me, Me, Me” Epidemic: A Step- by- Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over- Entitled World
“ Raising the Challenging Child provides parents, caregivers, child advocates, and even pediatricians like myself with practical strategies to help empower children and foster healthy family dynamics. Using Chaddock’s proven tools and techniques, the book serves as a helpful resource for those who seek to build a brighter path for children.”
Sameer Vohra , MD, JD, MA, FAAP, chair of the Department of Population Science and Policy, Southern Illinois University School of Medicine
“The authors provide a lovely integration of what they’ve learned from years of experience treating challenging children, the science of experience-based brain development, and practical hands-on advice for handling parental challenges in ways that combine nurturance and guidance. Raising the Challenging Child will be a welcome addition to the growing literature on the power of compassionate, brain-informed parenting to help caregivers avoid the pitfalls of blocked care and stay open and engaged more of the time, giving their kids the gift of their mindful selves.”
Jonathan Baylin , PhD, coauthor of Brain- Based Parenting and The Neurobiology of Attachment- Focused Therapy
“This fun, easy-to-read book is much more than your typical child-rearing manual. Reading this guide will give you a window into your child’s emotional world, as well as specific strategies and language to turn child behaviors into opportunities for growth. You’ll walk away from this book with a pocketful of gems to help your child think, problem-solve, and develop loving relationships for a happier family and a happier life!”
Debra Wesselmann , MS, LIMHP, coauthor of Integrative Parenting: Strategies for Raising Children Affected by Attachment Trauma
“In my many years of clinical practice, I was always hesitant to recommend a parenting guide. Raising the Challenging Child would have been a striking exception. Oh, how I wish it had been available to me—and to the families with whom I worked.”
Michael Trout , author of This Hallowed Ground: Four Decades in Infant Mental Health
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2020 by Chaddock
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2020
Ebook corrections 01.12.2022
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2120-6
Theraplay® is a registered service mark of The Theraplay® Institute, Evanston, IL, USA.
Trust-Based Relational Intervention® is a registered service mark of Texas Christian University, Fort Worth, TX, USA.
This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed. Readers should consult their personal health professionals before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it. The author and publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained in this book.
The names and details of the people and situations described in this book have been changed or presented in composite form in order to ensure the privacy of those with whom the authors have worked.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Chaddock kids and their families for your courage, perseverance, and faith in a brighter tomorrow.
And to our amazing Chaddock staff for your unwavering commitment to those we serve.
Contents
Cover 1
Endorsements 2
Title Page 4
Copyright Page 5
Dedication 6
Acknowledgments 9
Introduction 11
Part 1: Be a Leader
1. Invest in the Relationship Bank 17
2. Let Everyone Calm Down 27
3. Take Charge and Stay in Charge 37
4. Provide Clear, Consistent Limits 47
5. Balance Structure and Nurture 57
6. Respond, Don’t React 67
7. Share Power to Gain Power 73
8. Be Playful and Surprising 79
9. Apologize If You Make a Mistake 87
10. Keep the Goal in Mind 91
Part 2: Dig Deeper
11. Respond to What’s beneath Behaviors 97
12. It’s Okay to Revisit an Earlier Stage 111
13. Real Solutions Involve the Whole Family 117
14. Change Up Your Steps in the Dance 123
15. Don’t Ask, “What’s Wrong?” 131
16. All Kids Do Goofy Things 139
17. Help a Child Feel Validated and Valued 149
18. Talking Back Is Better Than Hitting 155
19. Celebrate Who Your Child Really Is 161
20. Look for What’s behind Your Own Reactions 169
Part 3: Prepare for Success
21. Take Care of Yourself 183
22. Say It without No 191
23. Every Two Hours, Feed and Water the Kids 193
24. Stay Alert to What Your Child Really Needs 199
25. Do It Together 209
26. Give Healthy Touch 215
27. Be Present for the Teachable Moments 223
28. Rehearse for Tough Situations 231
29. Expect Some Conflict 237
30. The Gift Your Child Wants Is You 245
Resources 251
Back Ads 271
Cover Flaps 273
Back Cover 274
Acknowledgments
While the phrase “it takes a village” has become well-worn, the number of individuals who have contributed to making this book possible would certainly fill an entire town. We are deeply grateful to the many Chaddock board members and donors who, for years, have enabled and empowered continuous learning in the service of children and families.
That learning has come in many forms, from many people. We offer our respect and appreciation to the following individuals whose generosity and expertise helped broaden our understanding and refine our approach in our work with kids and families: Michael Trout, who taught us to always remain curious and in a state of wonder with children and families as their stories unfold; Phyllis Booth and Sandra Lindaman, who have shared the powerful impact of Theraplay® throughout the world and with us; Karyn Purvis and David Cross, whose Trust-Based Relational Intervention® provided so many practical tools; Daniel Hughes and Dafna Lender, who helped us see the windows of insight provided by Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy; Miriam and Howard Steele, whose work with the Adult Attachment Interview deepened our understanding and compassion for the parents with whom we work; George Downing, whose Video Intervention Therapy enabled us to help families slow down the dance; David and Faith Friedlander, whose loving spirits and commitment to this work urged us on; Kenny Miller, who reminded us that all behaviors make sense when viewed through a developmental lens; Roy Keissling, who added yet another critical dimension to our toolbox with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing™; and Gene Simon, who saw the potential in this work and our team when few did.
In addition, we are grateful to Daniel Siegel for pioneering work in the field of interpersonal neurobiology, to Bruce Perry for expanding our understanding of child trauma, and to Allan Schore for regulation theory and synthesizing research related to neuroscience and attachment, all of which contributed to the refinement of our work. Thanks also to Jim Fitzgerald from Intermountain Children’s Home and Joe McGuill from Villa Santa Maria for their agencies’ willingness to open their doors to our team, and to Lori Thomas, Tiffany Sudela Junker, and Julie Beem for their generosity in sharing a parent’s perspective.
Knowledge can be refined only when it is applied. Thus, it is the collective experience and wisdom of numerous staff members that have culminated in the lessons shared in this book. While it is not possible to recognize the hundreds of staff who have played a role in shaping our approach to working with kids and families, we do want to acknowledge and thank the following longtime staff members who contributed to the concepts and examples shared throughout this book: Marcia Ryan, Michelle Robison, Molly Bainter, Brook Linenfelser, Jerry Douglas, Mark Vander Ley, Erick Lewis, Michael Baker, Amanda Becks, Cassie Ransom, Krista Finch, Ceara Alexander, Tony Vincent, Jim Lawson, Anthony Twine, and Jared Ransom.
Finally, thank you to our agent, Leah Spiro; our editor, Vicki Crumpton; and the entire Revell team for your belief in this book and your wisdom and guidance on this journey.
Introduction
Parenting is hard. Certainly, if you picked up this book, you know that.
Whether you’re dealing with tantrums or a battle of wills—while also getting well-intended but conflicting advice from others and wanting to appear as if you “have it all together”—at one time or another, you’ve probably felt ill-equipped for and overwhelmed by the task of raising a child.
Chaddock, the organiz