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Baker Publishing Group - Brian Housman

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82 pages

English

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Brian Housman helps parents become a greater influence in their teen's world, revealing which values motivate teens and offering practical ideas on how families can engage the world through service and love.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 août 2012
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441238559
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0173€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

© 2009 by Brian Housman
Published by Brazos Press
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.brazospress.com
Spire edition published 2012
Previously published under the title Engaging Your Teen’s World
Ebook edition created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means for example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-3855-9
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise noted, scripture is taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ® . NIV ® . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc. ™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Occasionally, italics are used in scripture quotations for emphasis by the author.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
To Mona,
For allowing me to show you
my whole heart
and still not running away
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Table of Figures
Introduction
Part 1: Engaging Your Teen’s Culture
1. Friday the 13th
2. A Taller Wall, a Wider Moat
3. Finger Pointing
4. A Big Horse with a Small View
5. You against the World?
Part 2: Engaging Your Teen’s Heart
6. The Writing on the Bedroom Wall
7. You Will If It Kills Me
8. A Passionate Story
9. Hello, I’m a Mac
Part 3: Engaging the World Together
10. Melted Gummi Bears
11. Boating Upstream
12. Employed by Playboy
13. When “I Don’t Know” Is the Only Honest Answer
Acknowledgments
Notes
About the Author
Back Ad
Back Cover
Introduction
Your teen is now living in a postmodern culture. That fact is undeniable. The debate is no longer whether or not we inhabit a postmodern culture. A more fruitful debate is, “Since we are living in a postmodern culture, how will this affect the lives of our teens as they grow older, as well as our families as we engage the culture?” It affects your teen’s understanding of relationships, spirituality, justice, and truth all important characteristics of postmodernism. Their expression of these qualities can look markedly different from what we are used to as parents. Moreover, our unfamiliarity with this new culture can lead to uneasiness in moving into it.
But move into it we must. Author Robert Lewis said, “I believe we need to accept the fact that the world has dramatically changed. We need to recognize, and not ignorantly fight against what is inevitable. If we could finally accept change, we could begin to look at, and not ignore, the issue of postmodernism.” [1]
I am not writing in defense of postmodernism or in opposition to it. I am merely attempting to shed light on the adolescent culture as it is today. My intention is not to get bogged down in a heated philosophical debate over the tenets of a postmodern worldview. As a matter of fact, after this introduction you won’t see the “p-word” mentioned anymore. Instead, a simple understanding that the perspective of the world I’m describing is from that of a postmodern teenager will be all that is necessary.
There is much of postmodernism that should give us pause. On one hand, this generation feels it is acceptable (and important) to find more meaningful ways to express truth. And this is a good thing. Nonetheless, we have a responsibility to ensure that the conclusions are indeed true, vetted with logic, reason, and scripture, and tempered with tradition.
Consider religion as an example. There are some in evangelical circles who would say that postmodernism is a humanistic and faithless philosophy. While postmodernism does place a greater emphasis on the human experience, it is filled with faith. Admittedly, that faith may look very different from what a Christian traditionalist would consider true faith. I recently watched an NBC News podcast [2] about faith in America that had two interesting observations. One, America is the most religiously diverse nation in the world. Two, for the first time since the founding of America, Catholic Christians will soon be its largest religious group.
Postmodernism indeed has shown a change in religious expression in America, a change that continues to grow. Sociologist Tony Campolo foresees that in the coming years, “the ways in which religion is expressed and the structures that institutionalize it probably will be displaced or changed.” [3] He goes on to say that for this new generation of Christians, “the worship of God need not take place in churches that have Episcopalian, Presbyterian, or congregational forms of polity.” [4] In other words, where, when, and how this generation expresses their faith in Christ will look very different from what may seem normal to us.
Religion is just one area of transformation among many. As you will see, every area of life is changing for this generation. Moreover, our unfamiliarity with the changes in this new culture can lead to parental uneasiness and unwillingness to adapt to better lead our teens.
We become like the culturally paralyzed private detective, Adrian Monk, from the TV show Monk . Although Monk looks normal, he is obsessive compulsive and suffers from multiple phobias. At times Monk’s phobias become so deeply incapacitating he is unable to appreciate the fresh air of a walk down the street without fears of accidental disaster at every footstep. He can’t enjoy the companionship of others without feeling he will be infected with some unseen disease. Day after day he is forced to make his surroundings fit his view of normalcy, even if that means compulsively touching each parking meter as he walks by it.
This gentle and well-meaning man is genuinely concerned for the people around him but never able to fully engage them, because of his fears and rigid ideas of what makes life right. Instead of experiencing a satisfaction with his job, his family, or even himself, he isolates himself from the world around him.
In many ways, the Christian community today is filled with religious (Adrian) Monks. You love your teen and you want God’s best for them. But how they think and the things they say they believe make no sense and seem contrary to how you were raised. As you look at their world a sense of paranoia, fear, or defensiveness wells up inside you. Maybe you feel a need to protect yourself (and your teen) from the confusion and disorder in their changing world without ever stopping to understand what is bringing about the changes.
The good news is that over time, Adrian Monk has gotten a little better. He’s become tempered. He’s able to see reality more clearly. There’s a change taking place in his life, just as there is in your relationship with your teen.
Hopefully, this book will serve as a good place for you to begin to look into some of the changes your teen is likely already exploring. To make our conversation together flow a little easier, I’ve broken the book into three parts.
Part 1 deals with unhealthy approaches to teen culture that many of us experience as parents. Every day we make choices as to how we will react to the world. Our responses are positions that many of our teens will adopt as they get older. If you respond with anger or disdain, chances are good that your teen will grow up with the same bent toward the world. Likewise, if you model a Christ-honoring response, they too learn how to walk wisely in their culture. But before you can do that, you may have to come face-to-face with your own responses that keep people at a distance.
Part 2 takes you on a journey of discovery into who your teenager really is. It’s not important for you to understand all teenagers just your own. We’ll be looking at three different parts of your kids’ lives: Their values and how they make decisions; Their passions and how they direct their energies; Their influences and how you can make a greater impact in their lives.
Once you understand healthy ways to respond to a teen’s culture, and you understand who your teen is, then you are ready to move into the world together to love others. This is what Part 3 is all about. If this seems like the most difficult part to you, don’t worry. It is for me, too. Most of the time we engage our culture by accident or when forced to like when our teens get into trouble or are in danger. Rarely do we think through ways to intentionally engage the world as a lifestyle of our faith.
The hope here is that the stories and words on these pages will stimulate you to think of ways your family can begin to purposefully love those around you. Just as your teen is part of a culture that is trying to live in a different way, you too must think of ways to move into the culture alongside your family.
As a word of advice, this book may not be most effective if you read it straight through in one sitting. At some points, you may have to put it down and just spend some time thinking. Take time to process what you are reading. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to respond in appropriate ways, as well as how to filter what you may disagree with as you continue in the process of making sense of the changing world of your teen.
Table of Figures
Fig. 1. Newspaper Headlines
Fig. 2. Influences in Your Teen’s Life
Fig. 3. Oozing Pie Pieces
Fig. 4. Behavior (action) Oriented Process
Fig. 5. Values (beliefs) Oriented Process
Fig. 6. Authoritative Influence
Fig. 7. Relat