Project Dad , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - Todd Cartmell

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111 pages

English

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Every dad wants to be a great dad. But what does it take to build a great dad? What raw materials does one need? And how do you put them all together?Designed for the do-it-yourselfer in every man, Project Dad is a humorous, biblically based guidebook to becoming a great dad. With short, entertaining chapters that cover five key components, this guidebook encourages fathers to raise their children with a renewed sense of purpose in order to positively impact them in their adult life. Cartmell shows dads that the way they look at, talk to, connect with, act toward, and lead their children is what separates a good dad from a great dad.Discussion questions at the end of each chapter make this book ideal for individual or group study.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 avril 2011
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441214850
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0374€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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project dad
The Complete Do-It-Yourself Guide for Becoming a Great Father
Todd Cartmell
© 2011 by Todd Cartmell
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
E-book edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-1485-0
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
DISCLAIMER: The names and details of the children, families, and situations described in this book have been carefully changed or presented in composite form, in order to provide the reader with examples of actual experiences while ensuring the privacy of the many wonderful children, teens, and parents the author has been privileged to work with.
This book is dedicated to my wife, Lora, and my two sons, Jake and Luke, of whom I am so proud and who have been instrumental in my becoming a father in the first place. And a special dedication to my dad, who has given me the best “living picture” that any son could hope for.
Acknowledgments
I am indebted to many people involved in the writing of this book. I am ever so grateful to my editors, Vicki Crumpton and Wendy Wetzel, for being a pleasure to work with and for letting me know when my jokes were too “locker room.” The Revell team was outstanding, and I’d like to give special thanks to Janelle Mahlmann, Cheryl Van Andel, and Melanie Evans, who worked tirelessly on this project (between breaks, of course). I’d also like to thank my friends Joe Petit, Eric Rojas, and Paul Sather (all great dads) for their helpful feedback on a few chapters and especially for their advice for me to not quit my day job.
/ / / / / / / / CAUTION / / / / / / / /
You are about to begin your own Project Dad. Your kids and family will never be the same. Proceed at your own risk!
Introduction The Opportunity of a Lifetime
Y ou and I already have one thing in common. We are both dads. As dads, we’ve had our good moments, such as learning how to change a diaper and watch ESPN’s SportsCenter at the same time. However, we’ve had a few bonehead moments along the way as well. If you have any doubt about this, just check with your wife.
But that is not our most important similarity. Despite our God-given aversion to asking for directions, you and I both have a different kind of GPS set deep in the center of our hearts. Behind all the mental clutter created by work, coaching kindergarten soccer, and pretending to know the cause of the strange noise in our car engine (“Honey, everyone knows what that noise means . . .” * ), there is an ever-present, heat-seeking, God-instilled desire.
*You have no idea what that noise means.
We want to be great dads.
If I have to run an errand, I try to take one or both of my boys with me if I can, just so we can be together. When they were younger they considered this great fun, and of course, there was always the possibility of scoring a chocolate doughnut as well. One Saturday morning, as we were headed out on our errand, three-year-old Luke looked at me with a beaming smile and said, “Dad, you’re the best.” Y’know, he’s got a point there , I thought to myself. However, just as I was getting ready to double his daily allowance of Goldfish crackers, five-year-old Jake chimed in with a correction to what he obviously perceived to be the erroneous statement previously made by his younger brother and said, “Well, he’s not the very, very, very, very best, but he’s pretty good.” To my dismay, Luke quickly reversed his position and agreed with his older brother. There was no increase in Goldfish that day.
Twelve years and countless therapy hours later, * my boys have become young men. Tonight, one of them is driving— yes, I said driving—to a high school “lockdown” at a friend’s church, and the other is playing in a local basketball tournament. I haven’t had the guts to ask them if they think I’m a great dad. I’m not even sure if I should. I’m afraid they’d both answer, “ You’re a dad? ” Either way, I suspect that their answer might be influenced by the fact that I control their access to video games.
*The therapy was for me, of course.
Here is a survey form I was thinking about having them fill out:
Survey (check the appropriate boxes)
1. My dad is a great dad. Yes No
2. I want to play video games again at some point in the future. Yes No
Name: ___________________________________________
Date: ____________________________________________
All joking aside, I am fortunate to have a great relationship with my boys. They are wonderful young men who have filled my life with enough joy and laughter for a hundred lifetimes. If I were to die today, I would consider myself to have had the best experience as a father anyone could ever have. *
*Except for the dying part.
However, I have never met your kids. I don’t know their strengths and weaknesses, their temperaments, their likes and dislikes, their hobbies and achievements, or for some, their particular areas of challenge. I don’t know if they are easygoing or strong-willed, athletic or electronically inclined. But I do know one thing: in the way that is right for them, God made them to be great. Totally, 100 percent great. I hope someone in the next room heard you say a rousing “amen” to that. And if you want to raise great kids, the first step is to become a great dad.
A Few Dad Facts
One day a little girl asked her mother, “Is it true that Santa Claus brings us our Christmas presents?”
“Yes.”
“And does the stork bring us babies?”
“Yes.”
“And the police department protects us?”
“Yes.”
“Then what do we need daddy for?” 1
I could rattle off a bunch of statistics about the difference that dads make in their kids’ lives. The thing is, you don’t need me to do that. You know in your heart that your kids need a great dad. God placed that knowledge in you the second you first laid eyes on that little scrunched-up face peeking out at you through their blue or pink hospital blanket. Your kids were made by a great God to be great kids. No argument there. So where do you come in to the equation? Simple. Those kids are counting on you to be a great dad.
But just in case you’re the type that likes facts, here are a few you might find interesting:
• Boys whose fathers offered praise and compliments performed better on tests of cognitive achievement than boys whose fathers were cool and aloof.
• Harsh and inconsistent discipline by fathers had a negative effect on their sons’ emotional adjustment and classroom behavior, which was related to lower academic achievement.
• Higher levels of father involvement in activities with their children, such as eating meals together and helping with homework, are associated with fewer behavior problems, higher levels of sociability, and a high level of school performance among children and adolescents.
• When both fathers and mothers are involved in children’s schooling, there is a higher likelihood that children will get high grades and enjoy school. 2
• Fathers who urinate standing up have a greater proportion of children who become either life insurance salesmen or firefighters. *
*I made this one up. Just wanted to make sure you’re still awake.
This should confirm what you already know. Every kid needs a great dad. Unfortunately, not every kid gets one. Our job is to make sure that your kid does.
Spandex Not Required
In case you’re stuck on some stereotype of what a great dad might look like, I’ve got some good news for you: great dads come in all shapes and sizes. You don’t have to be a former NFL quarterback or be able to build a sports car from scratch to be a great dad. When I helped my son Jake make his Pinewood Derby car for Cub Scouts, his car came in dead last. It wasn’t even tied for last place. A car with square wheels might even have come in faster.
As chief engineer on that project, I couldn’t help but feel a little responsibility for our dismal last-place performance. As Jake and I went to pick up his car from the racetrack, I wondered if any of the do-it-yourself, I-built-a-house-yesterday-what- did-you-do? fathers were secretly watching to see which dad was responsible for the last-place car so they could smugly smirk at my obvious aerodynamic incompetence. I think my fake nose and mustache did the trick.
The point of this pitiful racing story is that my success as a dad is not tied to my success as a Pinewood Derby car builder. And neither is yours. You can know nothing about Pinewood Derby cars and still be a great dad. Listen to the words of Dixie Wilson, from Tim Russert’s Wisdom of Our Fathers , as she describes her ordinary but great dad:
My dad taught me to tie my shoes, to cross the street, to get an education, and to believe in my country, my God, and my family. I never had to look far for my hero. He was just across the living room, sitting in his favorite chair, reading the newspaper and watching the nightly news. 3
Encouraging words for everyday, not-particularly-talented guys like me. I don’t imagine that Dixie’s dad was a superhero who walked around in tight, blue spandex pants. At least she never mentioned that. But he had a great impact on his daughter nonetheless. When it gets right down to it, every one of