Preparing for Adolescence , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - James Dobson Dr.

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86 pages

English

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What do you say to an adolescent who's getting ready to enter those turbulent teenage years? Dr. James Dobson, one of America's leading family psychologists, knows how to speak directly and sincerely to today's adolescents about the topics that trouble them most. Topics include avoiding feelings of inferiority, handling peer pressure, drug abuse, puberty, sexual development, menstruation, masturbation, romantic love, overcoming discouragement, sound decision-making, and handling independence.

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Christianity

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Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 décembre 2005
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441224835
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0403€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

© 1978 by Regal Books
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
Revell edition published 2014
ISBN 978-1-4412-2483-5
Previously published by Regal Books
Publishing history: First edition: 1978 Revised editions: 1989, 1999, 2006
Ebook edition originally created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
All Scripture quotations are taken from:
KJV — King James Version. Authorized King James Version.
TLB —Scripture quotations marked ( TLB ) are taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.
This book is dedicated to every teen and preteen who is navigating the waters from childhood to adulthood. It’s an exciting journey, though sometimes challenging. I pray that this book will be helpful along the way.
Contents
Let’s Huddle!
1. The Secret of Self-Esteem
It will give you more confidence to know that we’re all sitting in the same leaky boat, trying to plug the holes.
2. Everybody’s Doing It
Most teenagers respect a guy or girl who has the courage to be his own person, even when being teased.
3. Something Crazy Is Happening to My Body
These changes of puberty may occur as early as nine or ten years of age or as late as seventeen or eighteen, but each boy and each girl has his or her own timetable.
4. I Think I’ve Fallen in Love
Real love is being able to contribute to the happiness of another person without expecting to get anything in return.
5. A Notion Called Emotion
Young people feel more strongly about everything, especially during adolescence.
6. An Open Discussion with Teens
7. The Final Message
Let’s Huddle
It’s the night of the big game.
For weeks, the football coaches have drilled the players on fundamentals—on blocking, tackling, throwing and catching. The grueling practice sessions continued day after day.
Now the stadium is filled with screaming fans, and the opponents are waiting on the field. But before leaving the locker room, the coach gathers his team. There’s no time for any more practice sessions, but he wants to give the team one more word of encouragement, one last reminder of what’s ahead. He knows that there will be little opportunity to teach or guide once the game has begun. His final words are vitally important and, in fact, could even change the outcome of the game. After his remarks have been delivered, he sends his team out to do its best.
A parent who is preparing his child for adolescence is functioning much like that football coach. Since childhood he has been systematically teaching the “fundamentals”—getting the youngster ready for the approaching contest. They drilled and practiced throughout the elementary school years, continuing into junior high. They rehearsed the proper spiritual attitudes and moral values and they worked especially hard on building self-confidence. Finally, the moment of truth arrives and a concluding instructional session is held.
“Don’t forget what we’ve been teaching you,” Dad says.
“Watch out for the tackler I told you about,” warns Mom.
“Do a good job, son. We believe in you!” they both shout.
Junior nods affirmatively and runs onto the field. His parents stand glassy-eyed on the sidelines, knowing that their coaching job is almost over. They have made their contribution, and the outcome now depends on the bony kid in the backfield.
Do you get the message? If you have a youngster in the preadolescent age, you should capitalize on this final “coaching session” prior to the big game. You must take this occasion to refresh his memory, provide last-minute instructions, and offer any necessary words of caution. But beware: if you let this fleeting moment escape unnoticed, you may never get another opportunity.
We must keep in mind that the kids are in the huddle with us. Throughout this book, I’ll be talking primarily to the preteens who we hope will remember what they’ve learned in practice and who sometimes feel that they’re alone out there on the field.
Most people who have already made the journey through adolescence recall the scary physical changes that were occurring during those early years. We also remember our sexual anxieties and the guilt that was associated with our strange new desires. We have not forgotten the self-doubt and feelings of inferiority that seemed unbearable at times. And, of course, we recall the emotional vulnerability to practically everything throughout adolescence … vulnerability to failure, to ridicule, to embarrassment, to parental attitudes, and especially to any form of rejection by members of the opposite sex. There’s no doubt about it: adolescence was a turbulent voyage for most of us “old folks” (i.e., those over thirty!).
From this perspective, it does seem strange that we parents are so reluctant to share our youthful experiences with our own children. Preteens could profit from what we have learned because we’ve been where they’re going. Nevertheless, we typically keep our memories to ourselves and permit our boys and girls to sail into the same troubled waters with no preparation or orientation or warning. The result is often disastrous. As I stated in a previous publication, “The primary reason adolescence is so distressing is because youngsters do not fully understand what is happening to them. Many of their fears and anxieties and discouragements could be obviated by a simple instructional program.” 1
Where would such an educational effort begin, and what content would it cover? The book that you hold in your hand is addressed to those questions. It was written specifically for boys and girls between ten and fifteen years of age and is expressed in language that they can understand. This book describes the typical “adolescent experience” and discusses the delicate issues without flinching, including masturbation, menstruation, sexual morality, parent-child conflict, drug abuse, conformity, and, most importantly, the “canyon of inferiority.”
The open discussion in chapter 6 , which was taken from a recorded conversation with four teenagers, may be the most beneficial section of this book. These young people participated in an open discussion designed to explain to younger readers what they can expect to feel and experience in the years ahead. That recorded session, which took place in my home, was a meaningful time of sharing feelings and fears and hopes and dreams. I think you will find the text interesting and helpful.
So Preparing for Adolescence is a book for the huddle. You’ve already spent years coaching your preteen in the fundamentals. Now the big game is upon you. But there’s still time for those last-minute conversations and those words of encouragement that can mean the difference between winning and losing the game.
I’m confident that you will handle this opportunity adequately.
James C. Dobson, Ph.D.
Note
1. James C. Dobson, Hide or Seek (Old Tappan, New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1974), p. 108.
Chapter 1
The Secret of Self-Esteem
You are about to read a very personal book about an important time of life known as adolescence … those years between childhood and adulthood. Some of you are nine, ten or eleven years old now, and you’re just beginning to think about growing up. You’re not sure what’s coming, but you’re excited about the experience and want to know more about the details. This book is written for you.
Others of you are already teenagers, and these concepts will be important for you, too. Whether you’re looking forward to your teen years or are already involved in them, you’ll soon understand a little more about the questions and problems that are likely to occur in the years immediately ahead.
But why make such a big deal about adolescence? Why should we go to the effort to learn about this period of life? Well, very honestly, growing up will not be the easiest thing you’ll ever do. It was not easy for those who are now adults, and you won’t find it simple either. It’s always difficult to grow up, because life presents many new demands when you enter a new phase. You don’t remember it, I’m sure, but before you were born you were curled up nice and cozy inside of your mother’s warm body. You could hear her heart beating steady, soft and secure, and you were safe and warm and comfortable in that world that God had provided. All your needs were met and there wasn’t a care in the world. You had nothing to worry about and not a single concern.
But when the proper time came, you were rudely pushed out of that perfect little pocket, whether you liked it or not (nobody asked you!), and you entered this cold world where a doctor probably picked you up by your heels and whacked your behind. (That was some kind of welcome for a new kid in the neighbor-hood!)
As a matter of fact, while you were hanging there, looking at all those upside-down people all around you for the first time, you probably would rather have gone back to that protected little world you just came from. But you simply couldn’t stay in your mother’s womb if you were going to grow and develop and learn.
T HE C HALLENGE OF A DOLESCENCE
In a way, moving into adolescence is like that. You’ve been in the very warm, secure world of childhood. All your needs have been met by your parents: they were there to put a Band-Aid on your big toe when you stubbed it on a rock, and they kissed away your tears when things didn’t go right. You played most of the time, and life was pretty rosy and comfortable. But you can’t stay in that childh