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79 pages

English

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"A good Catholic man loves his wife not only in the first period of marriage, when she is young, beautiful, sprightly, vivacious and generally charming, and when their union still has the spice of novelty and freshness: but he will love her as much or even more as years wear on." -Fr. Fulgence Meyer, OFMPublished in the 1920s, this timeless book offers practical counsel and wisdom relevant for every Catholic married couple and those preparing for this great sacrament. Specifically, this book addresses how to form a truly Catholic home, the challenges and various sins that destroy marital love, and above all, how spousal love ought to flourish.With simplicity and singleness of purpose, Plain Talks' intimate and reverent style will give you frank, illuminating, and correct answers to the questions that perplex you. Those who read this book will become better spouses and parents.

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Publié par	TAN Books
Date de parution	29 juin 2021
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781505121124
Langue	English

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Plain Talks on Marriage
P LAIN T ALKS ON M ARRIAGE
Rev. Fulgence Meyer, OFM
TAN Books Gastonia, North Carolina
Nihil Obstat:
Fr. Valentinus Schaaf, O.F.M.,
Censor Deputatus
Imprimi Potest:
Fr. Edmund Klein, O.F.M.,
Provincial Minister
Imprimatur:
Joannes T. McNicholas,
Archbishop of Cincinnati
February 2, 1927
Originally published in 1927 by Franciscan Fathers of the Province of St. John the Baptist Cincinnati, Ohio.
Editor’s Note: a few sentences and footnotes were added to elaborate on the author’s words. Revisions and deletions have been included to make the work more accessible to the modern reader’s sensitivities.
Typesetting and revisions in Plain Talks on Marriage © 2021 TAN Books
All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts used in critical review, no part of this work may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in any form whatsoever, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Creation, exploitation and distribution of any unauthorized editions of this work, in any format in existence now or in the future—including but not limited to text, audio, and video—is prohibited without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Cover design by Chris Pelicano
ISBN: 978-1-5051-2110-0
Kindle ISBN: 978-1-5051-2111-7
ePUB ISBN: 978-1-5051-2112-4
Published in the United States by
TAN Books
PO Box 269
Gastonia, NC 28053
www.TANBooks.com
Printed in the United States of America
To all the noble Christian husbands and wives—who, by their mutual love and holiness of life, aim to make their conjugal union a true copy of the union of Christ and His Church, this book is heartily and appreciatively dedicated by The Author.
C ONTENTS
Publisher’s Preface
Preface to the Original Edition
Chapter I: Happiness in Marriage
Chapter II: The Nature of Marriage
Chapter III: The Purposes and Privileges of Marriage
Chapter IV: Sins Against Holy Marriage—Part One
Chapter V: Sins Against Holy Marriage—Part Two
Chapter VI: Sins Against Holy Marriage—Part Three
Chapter VII: The Education of Children
Chapter VIII: Husband and Wife
About the Author
P UBLISHER’S P REFACE
“T he cross is the bed of my spouses; it’s there that I have them taste the delights of my love,” 1 said Our Lord to St. Margaret Mary. In the Douay-Rheims translation of St. John’s Passion narrative, Christ’s final recorded words from the Cross were, Consummatum Est , “It is consummated” (Jn 19:30). No other bible translation uses these words—words which illuminate the marital act. On the Cross, Our Lord gave everything to His spouse, the Church, pouring out every drop of blood so that she might be holy and blameless like her Bridegroom (see Col. 1:22). From the pulpit of Mount Calvary, Our Lord gave all couples the greatest marriage preparation course ever. This course does not end after a couple exchanges their vows; rather, it begins. A sacramental marriage becomes valid not when a husband and wife say I do but when they consummate their love by giving themselves to each other freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully in the marital act. Hence, St. Paul was not using a loose analogy when he said, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it: That he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the washing of water in the word of life” (Eph. 5:25–26). No, St. Paul was giving us a vibrant and robust metaphor. Be crucified, husband. Be crucified to selfishness. Be crucified to sin, especially sexual sins. Do not take up your cross only once, but each day of your life. If you are crucified with Christ, then you and your spouse, with God’s grace, will live happily ever after in Eternity.
As Our Lord’s piercing words to St. Margaret Mary reveal, marriage is the cross and not a bed of roses. The honeymoon will not last forever; temptations and trials will come. And yet, just as suffering endears mankind to the heavenly Spouse, so too will suffering unite you to your earthly spouse. It is when you reject the cross and seek your own pleasure that you set yourself up for divorce. Make no mistake, the marital bed has been tainted by our perverted culture and defiled by sin. Instead of having one bride until death, a married man can now have thousands of brides, albeit fantasy ones. Instead of seeing his wife unveiled for the first time on his wedding night, many young men today have seen countless unveiled women virtually or in reality. Today, more and more women are also struggling with pornography. Perhaps this wound was inherited from their own parents whose lack of purity infects future generations. Yes, there is such a thing as generational sins; vice is readily passed onto one’s children.
When the late Fr. Fulgence Meyer, OFM, wrote this book in the 1920s to counsel married couples on sexual morality and forming a truly Catholic home, he never could have imagined how the cancer of pornography would creep into the Church. Pornography is the most confessed sin by men. Yes, pornography is the greatest threat to the sacrament of marriage. But there is hope. Hope in the power of the sacraments, especially confession. But do not wait until you are married to convert your heart. The wedding ring will not take away your lust. You must choose your spouse now. While Our Lord’s public ministry began around the age of thirty with His Baptism in the Jordan, Jesus prepared Himself from the womb. The same is true for you. Since your childhood, you have been preparing for your vocation. Who you are today is largely the result of your parents, how they disciplined you, the values they instilled in you, and the habits you acquired. Now, along with your spouse, you have been entrusted with the responsibility to prepare your children for their future vocations.
Although the sacrament of marriage is daunting at times, the saints are always there to supply timely help. Call upon Our Lady, Mother Most Pure, and her most chaste spouse, St. Joseph, to give you a clean heart. Be the holy spouse that your wife or husband need you to be today. Be the holy parents your children need you to be today. Remember, Christ Crucified is the only solid foundation for a lasting marriage.
Dear Husband, each morning you spend a few minutes before a mirror combing your hair, or perhaps shaving your beard. But do you each morning spend some time quietly looking at the true mirror, the holy crucifix? When you see Our Lord’s body, drenched in blood and scars, does it not reveal to you who you are and who you ought to become? There is no greater examination of conscience than gazing on Him, Who willingly stripped Himself of everything so that you might no longer glory in the flesh. The holy crucifix, my brothers, is what total self-donation and humility looks like—to be poured out completely, to be crushed like grapes in the wine press of love, and to hold nothing back from one’s spouse. To see the cross of your vocation but to choose it anyway is authentic, sacrificial love. It is the path to glory. Pride, selfishness, and lust have no place in the heart of a true lover of the Cross.
Dear Wife, each morning you spend time before the mirror so that you might look more beautiful for yourself, your spouse, your friends, even total strangers. But do you also spend time before some image or statue of Our Lady, she who perfectly mirrored her Son’s virtues of love, humility, poverty, and obedience? Our Lady is the mirror of humility, true femininity, and receptivity. Seek her intercession and she will teach you how to give yourself more fully to your husband. She will teach you generosity, but most of all, she will slowly plant her virtuous flowers in the garden of your heart—where a living Mary garden will flourish. A wife who seeks to forget herself as Mary did, who seeks to serve her husband, will find him more eager to sacrifice for her.
The marital wisdom presented in this little work, in these honest and open plain talks, is timeless, tried, and true. Dear Catholic Parent, we are on a great stage and Our Lord, the saints, and the angels are watching us. Let us not miss the opportunity to love our spouse as Christ loved His Church. Let us not miss the opportunity to raise our children to become great saints so that we might praise God with them now and for all eternity.
—The Publisher
_______________
1 Therese of Lisieux, St. Therese of Lisieux, Her Last Conversations (Washington D.C.: ICS Publications, 1977), 136.
P REFACE TO THE O RIGINAL E DITION
T his treatise is an elaboration of the conference which the author addresses to married men and women in missions. He is publishing it in the interest of people who are married, or who are about to be married: and who are bent on making their marriage what God intends it should be: a source of happiness and a nursery of holiness.
Fr. Fulgence Meyer, OFM
C HAPTER I
H APPINESS IN M ARRIAGE
“Blessed are all they that fear the Lord; that walk in His ways…. Thy wife as a fruitful vine, on the sides of thy house. Thy children as olive plants, round about thy table. And mayst thou see thy children’s children…. Peace upon Israel” (Ps. 127).
I n Rome, several years ago, one of the Reverend Consultors of the Sacred Congregation of the Sacraments told the writer, that the sacrament of matrimony gives the congregation more work and trouble than all the other sacraments taken together. Every bishop, pastor, missionary and confessor has about the same story to tell when he measures not so much the volume of the work as the worry it gives him. Nor will this surprise us when we consider that the sacrament of matrimony affects human nature in its most sensitive and self-assertive domain. It intends to moderate and regulate love, than which there is no more personal element, and no greater force in man or woman.
A Delicate, Yet Grateful Task
It is not without a degree of considerable diffidence and hesitancy, if not of positive reluctance, that a Catholic pri