Now That You're Engaged , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - DMin Wright H. Norman

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144 pages

English

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Now that you're engaged, how do you build a strong, lasting relationship? Trusted Christian counselor and marriage therapist Dr. H. Norman Wright offers straight talk to couples of all ages about this important step they are taking. As Wright knows and counsels, your level of commitment is the most vital factor in determining the success or failure of your relationship. Backed with biblical wisdom and providing the tools for a rock-solid plan, this practical book asks the right questions and helps you build on a strong foundation of commitment that can stand the test of time. Make your marriage the best it can be, starting with Now that You're Engaged.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	27 février 2006
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441267764
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	2 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0432€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

1985 by Regal Books
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan. www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Bethany House Publishers edition published 2014
ISBN 978-1-4412-6776-4
Previously published by Regal Books
Ebook edition originally created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means for example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Scripture quotations in this publication are taken from the following Bible versions:
AMP —Scripture taken from THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE, Old Testament copyright © 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified New Testament copyright © 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Berkeley-Modern Language Bible , The Berkeley Version. Copyright © 1945, 1950, 1969 by Zondervan Publishing House. Used by permission.
KJV—King James Version. Authorized King James Version.
NASB —Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible , © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
NEB —From The New English Bible. © The Delegates of Oxford University Press and The Syndics of the Cambridge University Press 1961, 1970, 1989. Reprinted by permission.
NIV —Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
NKJV —Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Phillips—The New Testament in Modern English , Revised Edition, J. B. Phillips, Translator. © J. B. Phillips 1958, 1960, 1972. Used by permission of Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc., 866 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10022.
RSV —From the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1946, 1952, and 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission.
TLB —Scripture quotations marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible , copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.
The material in this book was selected or adapted from Communication: The Key to Your Marriage, More Communication Keys for Your Marriage, The Pillars of Marriage and Seasons of a Marriage and originally published as So You're Getting Married in 1985. Revised and updated edition published in 2005.
Contents
Chapter One
Commitment to Marriage
Chapter Two
Commitment to Be Free from the Past
Chapter Three
Commitment to Love
Chapter Four
Commitment to Change
Chapter Five
Commitment to Understand Yourself
Chapter Six
Commitment to Evaluate Expectations and Develop Goals
Chapter Seven
Commitment to Make Wise Decisions
Chapter Eight
Commitment to Communication
Chapter Nine
Commitment to Listen
Chapter Ten
Communication Guidelines
Chapter Eleven
Commitment to Resolve Conflicts
Chapter Twelve
Commit Yourself to Control Anger
Chapter Thirteen
Commitment to Build Positive In-Law Relationships
Chapter Fourteen
Commitment to Forgive and Pray Together
Notes
Chapter One
Commitment to Marriage
Why are you getting married? What are your dreams, expectations and hopes for the future? what part does marriage play in those dreams and hopes? How do you look at marriage? What do you expect from your marriage? Your answer might include one or more of the following statements:

“I want to share my life with someone.”
“I want someone to help make me happy.”
“I want to spend my life with someone I love and with someone who loves me.”
“I don't want to spend my life alone.”
“I want to make up for all that was lacking in my own home.”
“I want to be faithful to God and love someone He wants me to love.”
“I don't want to end up alone, especially when I get older. Marriage is a security.”
“I want the security of a permanent relationship.”

All of these are fringe benefits of marriage, but none is strong enough to stand as a foundation for marriage.
Many people are propelled toward marriage without really understanding all they are committing themselves to for the rest of their lives. That is why couples experience surprises and upsets throughout the duration of their marriages. Marriage is many things.
Marriage is a gift.
Marriage is an opportunity for love to be learned.
Marriage is a journey in which we as the travelers are faced with many choices and are responsible for these choices.
Marriage is affected more by our inner communication than our outer communication.
Marriage is more often influenced by unresolved issues from our past than we realize.
Marriage is a call to servanthood.
Marriage is a call to friendship.
Marriage is a call to suffering.
Marriage is a refining process. It is an opportunity to be refined by God into the person He wants us to be.
Marriage is not an event but a way of life.
Marriage involves intimacy in all areas for it to be fulfilling.
Marriage Is a Commitment
I would like to ask you a basic question. Only you will know the real answer but your response may determine whether marriage is for you at this time of your life.
Are you ready for a commitment? Face your partner. Look at that person and hold his or her hand. You are committing yourself to about 50 years with that individual. Think about it! It is important to think twice before entering a room with no exits. You cannot have complete liberty and commitment. You cannot be married and single. Becoming two means you are no longer just one. The commitment holds true even during a short-term or life-long illness, poverty, a lawsuit, loss of job, a handicapped child or any other of life's surprises.
Please do not marry if you cannot keep a commitment. Marriage is an unconditional commitment and not a contract. Some psychologists, marriage counselors and ministers have suggested that marriage is a contract, and many people are quick to agree. But is this really true? Is marriage really a contract?
In every contract there are certain conditional clauses. A contract between two parties, whether they are companies or individuals, involves the responsibility of both parties to carry out their part of the bargain. These are conditional clauses or “if” clauses. If you do this, the other person must do this, and if the other person does this, you must do this. But in the marriage relationship there are no conditional clauses. Nowhere in the marriage ceremony does the pastor say, “If the husband loves his wife then the wife continues in the contract.” Or, “If the wife is submissive to her husband then the husband carries out the contract.” Marriage is an unconditional commitment into which two people enter.
In most contracts there are escape clauses. An escape clause says that if the party of the first part does not carry out his responsibilities, then the party of the second part is absolved. If one person does not live up to his part of the bargain, the second person can get out of the contract. This is an escape clause. In marriage there is no escape clause.
Unfortunately, many people do enter marriage with an attitude that there is an escape clause—if they do not get along they can break the relationship and try again. Too many are impatient with their marriages. They do not want to live “happily ever after.” They want to live happily right away or else! As a young wife sitting in a marriage counselor's office said, “When I got married I was looking for an ideal, I married an ordeal, I now want a new deal!” Changing partners is not an option for a Christian. Our commitment is the calling is to be committed.

Your level of commitment is the most vital factor in determining the success or failure of your relationship.

Commitment means many things to determining the different people. For some, the strength of success or failure their commitment varies with how they feel of your emotionally or physically. The word “commit” is a verb and means, “to do or to perform.” It is a binding pledge or promise. It is a private pledge you also make public. It is a pledge carried out to completion, running over any roadblocks. It is a total giving of oneself to another person. Yes, it is risky, but it makes life fulfilling.
Whereas courtship is a process of selecting the one you are going to commit yourself to, the marriage ceremony is a public act of that commitment. And each day of your marriage you should renew your act of commitment to your marriage partner. Commitment can carry a relationship and keep it alive when the romantic feelings are at a low ebb. One friend said, “I don't always feel romantic or have an overwhelming love response to her, but I am committed to her, committed to love her for life!”
Commitment involves action. Many couples make a genuine commitment at the altar but their commitment is not lived out in action. Since 1965, I have taught at a seminary. Unfortunately, I have seen a number of students put their marriage on the shelf until they graduate. People do this for many reasons, but during that time-out the marriage can die.
You must constantly fight to keep your commitment to marriage primary in your lives and resist the pressure to share that commitment with other facets of life. Your level of commitment is the most vital factor in determining the success or failure of your relationship.
The Word of God indicates that the marriage commitment is both holy and practical. God used the ma