Made to Love You , livre ebook

Spirit Reign Communication - S. Spence Floyd

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74 pages

English

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Everyone wants to know how to keep the romance alive in their love life, but only a few understand the complexity of falling in love, the factors required in keeping us attracted to our spouse and what it takes to maintain the intimacy in the relationship. In Made to Love You, Floyd Spence draws from his experience as a Coach and Psychotherapist to share cutting edge research and insights on how to have a lasting and satisfying love life.Whether you are a dating couple, married couple or someone who is just looking for love, Made to Love You, outlines practically everything there is to know about falling in love, staying in love and how to achieve the emotional and physical intimacy you desire.

Informations

Publié par	Spirit Reign Communication
Date de parution	04 mai 2015
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781940002712
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0400€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

FLOYD S. SPENCE
MADE TO LOVE YOU
THE ART OF ROMANTIC LOVE IN MARRIAGE
Author: Dr. Floyd Spence
Cover Design: David Anderson
Page Layout & Design: OA.Blueprints, LLC
Editor: Springhawk Publications, LLC
© 2015 Dr. Floyd Spence. All rights reserved. This book may not be used or reproduced in any way without the expressed written consent or prior permission from the copyright holder. Reprinting the content as a whole or for giveaway or resale is expressly prohibited.
Printed in the United States of America.
ISBN’s:
978-1-940002-69-9 (PB)
978-1-940002-70-5 (ePDF)
978-1-940002-71-2 (ePUB)
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to my wife, Lisa Spence, with whom it is a pleasure and privilege to travel the journey of love throughout these many years.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I am grateful to all the people who have been instrumental in making this book a reality. I’d first like to thank my wife, Lisa, who has made my life so full and complete. Thanks to my daughter, Akilah, and my son, Jadon. Thank you so much, family, for allowing me the space and time to do what I love and the motivation you provided so that my dream of writing this book could be realized. I’d also like to thank my parents (now deceased), Theophilus and Alma, for believing in me when others didn’t. Thanks to all my siblings for your support throughout the years, especially my sisters, Allison and Angella, for your unending love and support. Thanks to Carol Myers for your support, inspiration, and motivation.
Thank you to Keith and Aena McCormack for being like parents to me over these past years, and to Beverly and Nigel Myrie for your constant love and support.
Above all, I thank my heavenly Father who has blessed me in so many ways throughout my life. I give Him all the honor, the glory, and the praise.
CONTENTS
Introduction
I.      When Boy Meets Girl
1. The chemistry of love
2. Love or infatuation, how to know the difference
3. Why Him? Why Her?
4. When we have love
II.    All We Need is Love. Oh Really?
5. The honeymoon doesn’t last
6. Love is like bread, not stone
7. When babies arrive
8. Money is like oxygen
III.  Keeping Love Alive
9. Build bridges, not walls
10. You are on the same team
11. The we-ness effect
12. Succulent intimacy
13. Answers to romantic questions you have always wanted to ask
Afterward: Now What?
Glossary
Notes
Bibliography
About The Author
INTRODUCTION
What You Need to Know about Love, Sex, and Relationships
Human beings are designed to form close and long lasting bonds with an intimate partner. We are wired and made to love and we are, no doubt, eager to find someone with whom we can share our lives; someone in whose eyes we can gaze as we say, “I am made to love you.” I’ve had the privilege of helping many people over the years as I, myself, have traveled paths similar to theirs. Throughout my life, I have certainly experienced the joy of giving and receiving love, as well as the pain of loving and not being loved in return. It is my conviction that romantic love is a very integral part of who we are, and that just about every human being who has ever lived on this planet has felt the joy and/or pain of being in love.
It is clear to me that when our relationships are going well, we feel satisfied and motivated to take on the challenges of life. Conversely, when our relationships are not going well we, at times, experience feelings of disillusionment and dissatisfaction with life. I have seen far too many couples who were once in love descend into a dull, boring and unfulfilled relationship. It is for this reason that I have chosen to write this book: Made to love you .
Made to Love You gives insight into understanding the complexity of being in love. The experience of falling in love, why we choose who we choose, and the dynamics involved in keeping the romance alive after getting married are the major themes of this book.
Please note that the stories and characters in this book are fictional, yet represent composites of people I have met over the years. Though these people do not exist in real life, we do mirror them in our relationships at some point in time.
May this book be as useful and fulfilling to you as writing it has been to me. May your love for him or her never grow cold, and may your beloved bask in the satisfaction of your constant reminder that, I was Made to Love You .
PART ONE
When Boy Meets Girl
1
THE CHEMISTRY OF LOVE
“Don’t copulate with people you don’t want to fall in love with because, indeed, you may do just that” ~ Helen Fisher
“You smell so good!” Natasha whispered in Ron’s ear. “You are so beautiful!” Ron responded, as the two wrapped themselves in each other’s arms. Natasha proceeded to passionately kiss and nibble away at Ron’s neck while Ron, with breathless admiration, ran his long, slim fingers through her cascading black hair.
Ron and Natasha, who have been married for over ten years, are still in love and still attracted to each other. Like Ron and Natasha, many individuals fall in love and maintain their attraction to one another. However, what is it that attracts people to each other and what are the forces at work that ignite such a desire to share oneself with the object of his/her love? Let’s find out.
Falling in love is a chemical symphony the body plays as elevated brain chemicals evoke intense emotions that pour through one’s mind. As we experience this gush of emotion, some of us become pale, shy or awkward in the presence of our beloved. The body reacts to these “love chemicals” and becomes excited, which often results in the heart pounding uncontrollably and loss of appetite and sleep as we become obsessed with the object of our desire. The term “falling in love” implies that something beyond our control has taken place in a somewhat irrational way. Indeed, falling in love is something that happens to us, not something we make happen. Being in love, which is different from falling in love, is an ongoing process involving rational, as well as emotional components. Thus, while falling in love is a discreet event, loving is a series of events taking place over a period of time. 1
Therefore, when we are smitten by love, the body engages in a chemical symphony, producing immeasurable sensations. Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading experts on romantic love, categorized the experience of love in three stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. In each stage of love, from the quest to seek out and unite with the beloved to the heart’s pulsating rush of excitement over the ultimate deep bonding of a long-term relationship, different chemicals are at play in an important way.
THE PASSION COCKTAIL: THE LUST STAGE
As I walked by, I noticed her standing at the door. She was stunning; easy on the eyes. I couldn’t help but noticed her sparkling black hair that flowed titillatingly down her elegant long neck. Her curvaceous figure dazzled me as I gazed at her with salivation and a mind running wild. This brief lustful encounter is the beginning of love; a phase that involves the elevation of the sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen, two of the main hormones that are involved in sexual desire. A hormone is a chemical substance produced by an endocrine gland and is conveyed by the blood stream to effect physiological activities in other organs in the body. In essence, hormones are “chemical messengers”. Both testosterone and estrogen are present in males and females, but in different amounts. While testosterone is for men and estrogen is for women, men do need small amounts of estrogen and, likewise, women need small amounts of testosterone for hormonal balance.
Testosterone is part of a group of male hormones called androgens and is produced primarily in the testes. This hormone, which is also produced in lower levels in the ovaries of females, is important for sexual and reproductive development in men. Testosterone triggers the development of male sex organs and influences the development of the male secondary sex characteristics at puberty, such as voice deepening and facial, body and pubic hair. As testosterone levels become elevated, the sex drive becomes stimulated. Men and women also engage in more sexual activity as they experience higher levels of testosterone. 2
Estrogen is known primarily for the role it plays in fertility and reproduction. It is the hormone produced primarily by a female’s ovaries and is involved at the onset of puberty, stimulating the growth of a girl’s breasts and pubic hair. This hormone is also important in the lubrication of a female’s vulva and vagina, keeping things moist and flexible down there. Estrogen is believed to play a “synergetic role with testosterone in increasing lustful desire.” 3
I’VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU: THE ATTRACTION STAGE
“I’ve got a crush on you, sweetie pie, all the day and nighttime hear my sigh, I never had the least notion that I could fall with so much emotion.” The euphoric sentiment of this song, sung by Frank Sinatra, has driven its captives to travel distances, forsake families and sacrifice greatly, all in the quest to embrace their beloved. But what really causes this feeling of bliss and euphoria? As individuals become attracted to each other, mother nature causes elevated levels of the neurotransmitters—dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin in the brain. These three chemicals are responsible for the many sensations we feel when we fall in love. During this phase, people become addicted to each other. Maybe you have noticed that you have been thinking of nothing else but your beloved. It’s because you are love-struck. It’s because love’s chemical cocktail is at play.
DOPAMINE
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with the crush we feel for someone. It helps to control the reward and pleasure centers of the brain. Elevated levels of this “got-to-have-it” hormone are associated with feelings of bliss, “unwavering motivation and goal-d