It's Okay to Be Angry , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - PhD Oliver Gary J.

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130 pages

English

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Did you know that it is okay to get angry? In fact, anger is a proper and godly response to some of the challenges we face. While the Bible admonishes believers to be longsuffering, it also shows how anger can be a vital tool in God's hands for bringing about needed change. Written specifically for women and counselors, this insightful and practical book corrects the popular notion that good Christian women should never get angry--not for any reason, not at anyone, not ever. Foreword by Lisa Bevere.

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Popular psychology

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Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	16 octobre 2018
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781493416196
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0202€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 1993 by Gary J. Oliver and H. Norman Wright
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Spire edition published 2018
Previously published by Revell in 2014 as A Woman’s Forbidden Emotion , Servant Publications in 1995 as Good Women Get Angry , and Moody Press in 1993 as Pressure Points
Ebook edition created 2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-1619-6
Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled AMP-CE are from the Amplified® Bible, copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations labeled NASB are from the New American Standard Bible®, copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations labeled NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1952 [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 3
Copyright Page 4
Foreword 7 By Lisa Bevere
Preface 11
Acknowledgments 15
1. Anger—Friend or Foe? 17
2. What Is Anger? 39
3. What Are Emotions, Anyway? 59
4. Why Is Anger the Forbidden Emotion? 75
5. How Do You “Do” Anger? 91
6. Why Do Women Get Angry? 111
7. Stress, Fatigue and Anger 129
8. High Anxiety 151
9. Depression: The Flip Side of Anger 169
10. Harassed and Abused—You Need to Be Angry! 181
11. Anger in the Family You Came From 197
12. Anger in Your Marriage 215
13. Overreactions and Underreactions 235
14. What Can I Do About My Anger? 253
Notes 271
Selected Bibliography 279
About the Authors 281
Back Ads 282
Back Cover 286
Foreword
Anger and women—we’ve all been confused about how to handle this volatile emotion. We’ve been told to stuff it or strut it, but in truth, neither of these behaviors will get us what we ultimately want. And even when there are reasons to get angry, we women don’t really want to fight, we want to win! Far too often, though, the “victory” results in losing at both love and life; friends become strangers and children and loved ones get pushed away. Our health becomes compromised and we find our emotions spiraling downward. Compassionate understanding of this emotion called anger has never been so desperately needed!
Women who hang on to unresolved anger issues either end up pushing away the very ones they long to draw near or they turn the anger on themselves. I know, because I’ve done both.
When I was a stay-at-home mom with three boys under age five, I had the privilege of reading my first book by these caring men, Norm Wright and Gary Oliver. At that time I wanted so desperately to gather all the information I could to “do it right” and pass a blessing on to my children. But instead I ended each day exhausted and with a list in my head of how I had failed to do just that. I remember one night when I climbed in bed with the book, hoping to draw on its wisdom, and came across the question of what our goal, as parents, should be for our children. My mind raced to fill in the blank. I am going to get this answer correct! I thought to myself. I wrote out an impressive résumé of attributes and felt very self-satisfied as I turned the page to check my answer. What I read shook every paradigm I held as a mother. It was so simple yet profound that it still remains with me today, as a mother of four—three of whom are teens. The gist of the answer is that our goal as parents should be to cause our children to be independent from us and dependent on God. I immediately felt released and empowered.
I believe you will also feel released and empowered when you read It’s Okay to Be Angry . It is time to heal the hurts of women young and old. For mothers who are confused and trapped in their past, and for their daughters who often relive their mothers’ wounds, it is time to experience God’s love and forgiveness and to let Him wash away all the hurt of yesterday. It is time to become equipped with the skills we need to move beyond shame and condemnation to a position of repentance and empowerment. It is my prayer that destructive anger would no longer be passed from one generation to another, as though it were an inheritance. It is time to pass something more to our sons and our daughters.
So be encouraged. The Father has come with healing in His wings. This book is filled with tender and insightful instruction that fosters a safe environment for the Holy Spirit to shed His light of truth on your heart and life. It will guide you to the root of the issue so that you will not spend the rest of your life pulling off the fruit.
Lisa Bevere Speaker and author Without Rival and Adamant
Preface
This is a book that almost didn’t get written. We (Norm and Gary) have been friends for more than 30 years, and some of our favorite and most productive times together have been on a variety of fishing trips. When the fish didn’t bite, we would often discuss what God was doing in our own lives, in our marriages and families—and in the lives of those who were coming to us for counseling.
After many discussions, we became aware of the need for a book that would help women understand the biblical teaching on anger, and the role of healthy anger in both individual and relational health. At that time the majority of people who came to us for counseling were women—and many of these good women were struggling with an emotion they had been told they weren’t supposed to have. It was okay for their husbands and other men in their lives to have it. It was okay for their kids to have it. But it wasn’t okay for good Christian women to have it. Of course, the “it” I’m referring to is the emotion of anger.
By God’s grace we were able to help many of these women understand anger from a biblical perspective. We taught them how to experience and express it in ways that were consistent with Scripture, which increased their effectiveness in their relationships and significantly decreased the many unhealthy effects that result when anger is dealt with inappropriately.
On numerous occasions we talked about writing a book that addressed the issue of women and anger. The only problem was that we were two men. We thought it might be at best presumptuous and at worst sexist and arrogant for two men to write such a book.
However, in our seminars and workshops and in our counseling interactions (at that time the majority of those we counseled were women), we were encouraged by those same women to write this book. As we surveyed more than 3,000 women of all ages from across the country—as well as nationally known leaders of women’s ministries—in an effort to learn more about women and anger, we continued to be encouraged to write about anger and women. We’re glad we finally listened to these women (sometimes it takes men a while to get it)! And while many books go out of print in their first year of publication, this book has been in print for close to 10 years. Now we’re delighted that it is coming out in a fresh, revised edition for a new generation of women.
One of our greatest surprises from Good Women Get Angry (original title for It’s Okay to Be Angry ) has been the number of men—that’s right, men—who told us that this book was one of the most helpful resources they had ever read. Because of our book, these men were able to better understand their wives and daughters and to interact more effectively with them. When we wrote this book originally, we didn’t have men in mind. After hearing so much positive feedback from men (primarily from men we met at Promise Keepers events), we went back through the book with a “new set of eyes” and saw how it actually could be valuable for men to read. So, if you are a man who is reading this and wondering if it will help you understand the woman in your life, the answer is yes!
Another surprise for us was the number of moms who read the book and then bought a copy for their daughters. Numerous women either wrote or told us that taking their daughters through the book gave them an opportunity to teach an awareness of anger as well as specific skills and resources they desperately wished they’d had when they were teenagers. Several moms said that because it was a book they were both reading , they were able to teach their daughters about anger more effectively than if they had merely tried to tell their daughters the same information. During the teenaged years, telling sons or daughters anything tends not to be the most effective form of communication. So if you’re a mom looking for a way to connect with your daughter, this book might prove to be a great first step.
One final observation: our book has helped many believers understand that there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, that all anger isn’t bad, that anger is a God-given emotion, that anger is discussed frequently in the Bible, and that healthy anger can actually increase our effectiveness in life and in our relationships. We hope that the positive and redemptive aspects of this powerful emotion (the seco