How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - Becky Harling

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48 pages

English

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Good parenting depends on good communication. The problem is, we parents tend to over-talk. Not only is this ineffective, it discourages children from sharing what's on their hearts. In this immensely practical book, communications expert Becky Harling shares the best listening practices to transform your family's relationships and set your children up for success, including how to· help them express their feelings in healthy ways· listen to affirm their strengths· model how to navigate conflict with grace· listen to God, knowing that he "bends down to listen" to us (Psalm 116:2 nlt)Whether your son or daughter is in preschool, grade school, or high school, intentional listening will help them feel heard, valued, and empowered to find their unique voice. The practices you put into place now will set a foundation for strong relationships into adulthood.

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Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	05 janvier 2021
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781493429844
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0360€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Cover
Endorsements
“This book is personal, practical, and wise. It is small enough to keep on the kitchen counter, with tools to put into practice immediately. As a trauma and resiliency expert, I will recommend and gift this book often. With its focus on attachment, relationship building, empathic problem solving, and self-care, it covers all the bases.”
—Sue Badeau, speaker, author, and parent (adoptive, bio, and foster)
“A mentor of mine taught me a very valuable lesson, and that was ‘communication is a learned trait.’ On every page Becky Harling is giving us gems to communicate more effectively with our kids. I loved her practical style and all the helpful insight she puts on every page. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t benefit from reading this book. It’s great.”
—Jim Burns, PhD, president of HomeWord and author of Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out
“This book is jam-packed with practical, biblical advice for moms and dads in every stage of parenting. Applying the principles found in How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk will transform the environment of your home and establish mutual trust, love, and respect between you and your kids.”
—Evan Carlson, president of Family Life Radio
“As a mom of ten kids there’s always a lot of noise—a lot of talking—at my house. I try not to tune my kids out, but I’m learning that listening goes beyond hearing our kids’ words. How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk is truly a treasure. Becky Harling reminded me of things I needed to do better and gave me positive principles to put into practice. This is a book I’ll be recommending, especially to adoptive parents like me!”
—Tricia Goyer, bestselling author of 75+ books, including The Grumble- Free Year and Calming Angry Kids
“As a mom of two teen boys, I’m always looking for ways to keep the doors of communication open in our relationship. In How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk , Becky Harling shares simple but effective ways you can help build your child’s confidence while giving them a platform to share their experiences and process their emotions. A much-needed resource for parents.”
—Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, physician, speaker, and author of Sacred Rest
“Do you want to connect with your children? Listen to them! But sometimes building that relationship can be tough. In How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk , Becky Harling shares lessons learned during her mom years combined with wisdom from God’s Word. Every parent needs to read this book!”
—Michelle Cox, bestselling author of the W HEN G OD C ALLS THE H EART series, www.whengodcallstheheart.com, and Just 18 Summers , www.just18summers.com
“Listening has never been more important. It is a powerful portal for connection and a springboard for children’s growth in wisdom for life in a complicated world. Through hopeful and heartwarming stories and teaching, Becky Harling’s guide inspires parents to listen well and equips them with tools to do it.”
—Jim Jackson, president and cofounder, Connected Families
“Practical tips to help parents master the art of truly listening! A blueprint that dives into these three components: seeking God for wisdom, listening with the goal of understanding, and becoming a student of your child. Becky’s suggestions strengthen the parent-child relationship and encourage kids to express their thoughts and questions without hesitation or fear of reproach.”
—Julie Lavender, author of 365 Ways to Love Your Child : Turning Little Moments into Lasting Memories
“As a professional counselor, I believe there has never been a more important time for kids to feel heard. In her book, Becky Harling gives parents practical tools on how to approach their children so that they can find their voice while still respecting the parent-child relationship.”
—Michelle Nietert, MA, LPC-S, clinical director of Community Counseling Associates and coauthor of Loved and Cherished
“Listening remains key to building lasting relationships with our children. Becky shares through real-life stories and experience how to keep children connected and talking through attentive, active listening. Underscoring her practical advice and exercises is an emphasis on listening to God as we pray for our children.”
—Karen Whiting, Christian Authors Network board of directors, author of 26 books, and certified writing and marketing coach
“Becky Harling has done it again—this time in my parenting relationships—giving me everything I need to know to connect with the hearts of my tween and teenager. This is a must-read for every parent, teacher, coach, or family member who has a child in their life they are helping navigate into adulthood. With Becky’s warm and authentic style, you feel equipped and empowered to pursue healthy and meaningful relationships with the young people in your life. No matter how rocky it may currently be, Becky provides hope for healing along with practical ways to improve communication—reaching their heart as well as their head.”
—Erica Wiggenhorn, speaker and author of An Unexplainable Life
Bethany House Books by Becky Harling
How to Listen So People Will Talk
How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk
Listen Well, Lead Better (with Steve Harling)
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2021 by Becky Harling
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2021
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2984-4
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, New International Version ®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked NASB are from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified NLV are from the New Life Version, copyright © 1969, 2003 by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations marked TPT are from The Passion Translation®. Copyright © 2017, 2018 by Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ThePassionTranslation.com.
Cover design by Dan Pitts
Author represented by The Blythe Daniel Agency, Inc.
Dedication
This book is lovingly dedicated to our daughter, Stefanie Holder.
Ah, Stef, you have been such a gift to me. God taught me so much through you And what a joy it has been to watch you grow to Become the strong and godly woman you are. Indeed, you have the spirit of Deborah. I pray that God continues to increase your influence and your wisdom. You have definitely been set apart for Him Since you were little. I love you, Stef, and am so proud of you!
Contents
Cover 1
Endorsements 2
Bethany House Books by Becky Harling 4
Title Page 5
Copyright Page 6
Dedication 7
1. Give Them a Voice 11
2. Watch Your Nonverbals 25
3. Turn It Off and Tune In 39
4. Help Them Find Their Feelings 53
5. Listen to Affirm Strengths 69
6. Ask Great Questions, but Don’t Interrogate 83
7. Listen to Empower Good Decision-Making Skills 95
8. Negotiate with Grace 109
9. Contain in Conflict 121
10. Teach Them to Have Conversations with God 137
Acknowledgments 151
Notes 155
About the Author 159
Back Ad 160
Back Cover 161
1 Give Them a Voice
Having a parent who listens creates a child who believes he or she has a voice that matters in this world.
—Rachel Macy Stafford
P arenting is a perilous journey. I’ve joked about writing a parenting book called Blackmail, Bribery, and a Whole Lot of Prayer . That’s basically how Steve and I raised our four kids. We loved being parents—we just didn’t know what we were doing. Sometimes our strategies worked out well, and sometimes they were a complete bust! It is only by the grace of God that our kids turned out so amazing and that they still like us.
One memory stands out clearly in my mind. It had been an awful week with Stefanie, who was only four at the time, and I hadn’t handled things well at all. A sobbing mess, I knelt before the Lord. “God, I can’t do this! I’m screwing her up. I’m sure she’ll need a lifetime of therapy after I’m done!”
My pint-size girl with big blue eyes had opinions . . . lots of them! In fact, when Stefanie was three years old, the pediatrician told me, “Becky, she’s tiny but mighty.” No kidding. It felt as though every conversation with my petite beauty turned into an argument. If I wanted her to wear a pink outfit, she wanted a purple one. If I asked her to pick up her clothes, she had a better idea. In fact, she was loaded with brilliant ideas. Many conversations began with “Mommy, don’t say no yet . . .” and then Stefanie would launch into a full-fledged debate. If I didn’t agree, she thought she just hadn’t tried the right argument, and the negotiating would begin all over again. I thought I would lose my ever-loving mind!
On that fateful morning when I had a complete meltdown, I poured out my heart in prayer. Between my snif