Hot Topics for Couples
226 pages
English

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226 pages
English
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Description

Believing young love is great and real love improves with age, Steve and Annie Chapman offer proven insights for creating loving, lasting marriages. What sparked Hot Topics for Couples? Annie asked Steve if meat loaf, a staple, was okay for dinner. Steve replied, "I don't like it." Amazed, Annie asked why he'd never mentioned this. "You never asked." So they decided to eliminate any areas of discomfort. Using their 35-year marriage, discussions with couples, and biblical wisdom, the Chapmans address wildfires such as: he won't talk/she won't stop talking he doesn't do housework/she's never in the mood he is the "fun parent"/she has to discipline the children he said he'd do it...someday/she never relaxes he says Dallas Cowboys game/she says Butchart Gardens Using the interactive questions, couples can make their marriages more fulfilling and exciting. Rerelease of What Husbands and Wives Aren't Telling Each Other.

Informations

Publié par
Date de parution 01 mars 2010
Nombre de lectures 0
EAN13 9780736937610
Langue English
Poids de l'ouvrage 6 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0415€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Hot Topics for Couples
Steve & Annie Chapman
®
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Verses markedNKJVare taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Cover by Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota
HOT TOPICS FOR COUPLES Formerly published asWhat Husbands and Wives Aren’t Telling Each Other Copyright © 2003 by Steve and Annie Chapman Published 2010 by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97402 www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Chapman, Steve. Hot topics for couples / Steve and Annie Chapman. p. cm. Originally published: Eugene, Or. : Harvest House Publishers, © 2003 Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 978-0-7369-2777-2 (pbk.) 1. Communication in marriage. 2. Marital conflict. 3. Man–woman relationships. I. Chapman, Annie. II. Title. HQ734.C48 2010 248.8'44—dc22 2009025327
All rights reserved.No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
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This book is dedicated especially to our children and their spouses, Emmitt and Heidi Beall and Nathan and Stephanie Chapman.
Acknowledgments
A special thanks to all the husbands and wives who were kind enough to respond to our questionnaire. Without your vulnerability in sharing your deepest feelings, this book could not have been written.
Contents
The Meat Loaf Revelation
1. Prepared, Repaired, Paired
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11
2. I Need a Teammate, Not a Cell Mate
3. A Partner, Not a Parent
4. The Challenge of Change
5. Connected or Co-Naked
6. I Need a Friend
79
35
47
61
7. Making a Living or Making a Killing
8. Lead or Get Out of the Way
9. A Regret-Free Marriage
10. Vintage Wine or Vinegar?
141
119
163
A Talkative Quiet Time for Couples
Notes
217
21
99
177
The Meat Loaf Revelation
Annie:For the first two years of our marriage I made meat loaf. What all-American family doesn’t eat this traditional dish at least once a week? One day, while I was preparing my grocery list, I asked Steve, “Would you like to have meat loaf tonight?” He replied, “No, I don’t like meat loaf.” My response was one of shock. I said, “For the past two years you have eaten meat loaf every week. Why didn’t you tell me you don’t like it?” He answered, “You didn’t ask me.” How many couples are going through life with belly aches because the simplest of thoughts are not shared? As a result of silence, they are not enjoying their marriage to the full extent. Still, they never ask or vol-unteer how they feel or what desires they might possess. There comes a point in the relationship between a husband and wife when it’s time to stop being miserable, cease complaining, and start telling the other person what you want. After Steve told me he didn’t like meat loaf, I never made it again (when he was home, anyway). Was I trying to complicate his life by feeding him something he didn’t want? Of course not. Nor was he trying to play the role of the meat-loaf martyr. We simply didn’t communicate about the subject. Going back through the years I wondered if there were other unad-dressed “issues” in our marriage. What else had Steve silently swal-lowed even though he didn’t like it? As I pondered the question, I
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Hot Topics for Couples
realized that in our nearly three decades together there were other meat-loaf revelations we made. And with each one, our relationship grew stronger and sweeter. For example, it took some time before I could tell my outdoors-loving husband that I really didn’t enjoy riding a bicycle along a busy highway. I was not a big fan of the outside mirrors of passing cars and trucks that would barely miss my handlebars as they sped by. My nerves just couldn’t take it. Nor did I care for that pin-sized seat on the bike he bought for me…us…to enjoy. Try as Idid to like it, my constant squeez-ing of the brake levers and the accompanying little frantic screams during the downhills didn’t contribute much to our having fun. Finally, I had to say something about it. I had to let him know that my idea of a thrill did not include a 40MPH“fall” off a steep, paved, Tennessee incline as my eye sockets filled up with water! Thankfully, he took it well. Once Steve understood my reserva-tions about using danger as recreational therapy, he treated my appre-ciation of the outdoors quite differently. To this day, I am convinced that my willingness to help him see my fears assisted him in altering his expectations in regard to my participation in outside adventures. My willingness to open up about my dread of bicycle “road rash” resulted in the best gardening buddy I have today. Steve was able to see that my preference for enjoying God’s creation is my flower garden. Instead of having a husband who grumbles about me rarely leaving my backyard for adventure, I have a man who, each year on Mother’s Day, gives me a most wonderful gift—mulch. That’s right! Steve mulches my garden. But the best part is that he mulches and never complains. Having seen the immeasurable value of a husband and wife experi-encing their own meat-loaf revelations like we did, and seeing the rewards of the communication that can follow, we have been moti-vated to write this book. Rest assured, this text is about much more than dinner items, bicycles, and mulch. These pages address many other subjects that are of great concern but, perhaps, to date, they have not been discussed by spouses. In order to find out what spouses wanted or needed to be saying to each other, for the past year we have asked approximately 500 couples from all parts of the country to complete a questionnaire we developed
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