Hope for Parents of Troubled Teens , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - LMHC Rae Connie

Découvre YouScribe en t'inscrivant gratuitement

Je m'inscris

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

101 pages

English

Vous pourrez modifier la taille du texte de cet ouvrage

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

A propos
Informations
Extrait

Description

A Road Map for Parenting in the Troubled YearsIt is never too late for parents to reach their teenager or young adult. Licensed counselor Connie Rae draws from professional and personal experience to provide insight, encouragement, and advice. Offering wise counsel and a reassuring tone, she helps parents better understand their child's temperament, their own parenting style, and the developmental process their child is going through. She also discusses the world in which their teenager is growing up, which is very different than many parents realize. Each chapter ends with a list of practical steps and a prayer, giving parents wise advice but also offering hope through the process.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 janvier 2012
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441270061
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0374€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Copyright © 2012 by Connie Rae
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-7006-1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the Amplified® Bible, copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.lockman.org
Scripture quotations marked kjv are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations marked niv are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations marked nkjv are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Cover design by Greg Jackson, Thinkpen Design, Inc.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
“ Hope for Parents of Troubled Teens is an important book for all parents. Whether a child is rebellious, out of control, or just going through the growing pains of adolescence, Connie has valuable advice and a refreshing viewpoint. Hers is a message of hope for parents in pain. It is not just a how-to book, it is a shared journey of one who has been there.”
—Dr. Jerry Cook Author, conference speaker
It will be noted by the reader that many of the references to children and youth are in the male gender. This is because my own experiences were with a son. But there are also many chapters where male and female genders have been alternated. This has been done to avoid the awkwardness of the phrases “he or she” and “his or her.” Please substitute the appropriate gender for your family situation as you read.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Endorsement
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
Introduction: What Can You Do ?
1. Where Did This Kid Come From, Anyway?
2. Getting to Know Your Adolescent
3. Moms and Dads, Husbands and Wives
4. What Parents Need vs. What Kids Need Equals Conflict
5. Listen Here! Or Listen, Hear
6. Peer Pressure Goes Two Ways
7. Kids Need Something to Do
8. Teens and the Unnatural High
9. The Lure of Sex
10. Rebellion and Runaways
11. Have We Done Anything Right?
12. Keeping It Together When It Gets Bad
References
Notes
About the Author
Back Cover
Acknowledgments
T his book could not have been written without the experiences our family had with our own rebellious teenager. Thank you, son, for teaching us how to love—and to grow.
Thanks also to my husband, who experienced everything with me, and was a rock when I needed him. Thanks to our other children, who lived with their own challenges and were loyal to their brother in spite of it all.
To the many friends and “counselors” who prayed with us and for us during the turbulent times and were supportive in the original writing of this book many years ago—thanks.
To the hundreds of teenagers and parents I have had the privilege of counseling and walking with through your tough times—thank you for trusting me with your family’s troubles.
And much appreciation and thanks to Andy McGuire, my editor at Bethany House, who believed in the message of the book and gave this first-time author the opportunity to become part of the Bethany House family.
Most important, there are no words to express my deepest reverence and praise to my Father, whose love and discipline made the difference—a simple thank-you is insufficient, but they are the only words I have. Thank you, Jesus, for all you’ve done.
Introduction
What Can You Do ?
A dolescence can be an exciting time of growth and newness for parents and children. Many families make it through with relatively few battle scars and with an established sense of healthy interdependence. However, some young people get caught up in rebellious behavior that escalates into something serious.
This book has been written to bring hope and healing to families, especially to parents who are teetering on the edge of despair with their teenage children. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the pain and the hopelessness.
My family has experienced the message of this book. Our own rebellious child finally made it, but not until six long, hard years had passed. In the end, really the beginning for our son, it was God who brought about the miracle of change in his life. It was God who gave him the determination and strength to make decisions about his future. It was God who gave him the daily power to carry those decisions through. Mom and Dad, meanwhile, examined, evaluated, and reevaluated everything. It was a time of “growing and becoming,” in spite of daily frightening circumstances, or maybe because of them.
When we were experiencing the worst with our teenage son, we wanted to know that somebody, anybody, understood what was happening to us. We heard a lot of comments like, “Oh, we’re so sorry” or “There’s nothing you can do. You just have to wait until he comes to his senses” or “Kick him out. Let him see what it feels like to be on his own” or “Make stronger rules; ground him.” Though well-meaning, none of this was helpful.
There are no words, initially, to lift the heavy weight in your heart or to miraculously turn your child around to “see the light.” What I often tell parents I work with is: “It’s likely to get worse before it gets better.” Not exactly what they want to hear. But it’s the truth. And in the meantime, there are things we can, and should, do.
First, try to take the focus off thoughts like, How could he/she do this to me? and start thinking, How can I help this child find his/her way? This change in attitude goes a long way toward helping your own “bleeding” to stop.
Second, try to establish some kind of relationship with the warring teen. It’s difficult, but do whatever you can to make this happen. They may ignore you or refuse your gestures, but try.
From there, please take the time to read this book and follow the suggestions for moving your family toward wholeness. There are no magic solutions. But I believe as you explore the “Something to Do” suggestions at the end of each chapter, there will be movement in the right direction. You are suffering. Your child is suffering in a different way. Do something.
———
The Bible tells us that faith without works is dead. The message of this book is that having hope, faith, and trust, means there are things we can do to make a difference in our relationship with our child, even if he does not respond to us as we would like him to.
But when the last authority figure has been talked with, when the final desperate measure has been taken, when the last shred of human wisdom has been tapped, hope may be all that is left. The Scriptures tell us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hope rests in our faith in God, and our willingness to trust that He will do what we cannot do.
———
In addition to offering counsel to parents already in crisis, I would hope that some parents will read this book before their child’s behavior becomes troublesome so they might avoid the upheaval and chaos that happens when a child loses his way. If you are a parent just entering the world of teenagers, and you haven’t experienced any significant troubles yet, this book might help you circumvent problems that may lie ahead.
My earnest prayer is that you will find information, wisdom, and encouragement within these pages. I trust your family will be made whole.
1 Where Did This Kid Come From, Anyway?
W e were driving to church—just my husband and I. Silently. Finally, I said, “Have we been too hard? Too strict? Too unbending? Maybe we should have given in more, let him do some things even if we weren’t comfortable with them.”
More silence. Then my husband replied, “He did everything he wanted to do—whether we OK’d it or not. Look where it got him. What else could we have done? What could we have done differently and still been true to our convictions?”
More silence. We were both thinking. Wondering. Steve was safe for the moment—in the county jail. It was amazing how the worries lifted when we knew where he was and that he couldn’t get into more trouble—for the time being. He was remorseful. Again.
This was the third, or was it the fourth time he was incarcerated? The first times had been to juvenile detention. We celebrated his eighteenth birthday in a tiny room in juvenile hall—and then they moved him across the street to the county jail.
We were the ones responsible for his first arrest. After several incidents, promises made and broken, we went to the juvenile authorities and asked them to help us. They did. They arrested him and confined him. He was angry. The minute he got out, on probation with all kinds of restrictions, he was off to be with his friends—the same ones he was getting into trouble with. Then it was only a matter of time before he was picked up again—for possession of marijuana.
Steve had written checks on our family’s meager bank account. He’d pawned family items. He’d “borrowed” his father’s truck to run around in when he was supposed to be in school. He didn’t have a license. His father taught in the junior high school acro