Five Steps to Breaking Free from Porn , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - Joe Dallas

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33 pages

English

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Porn has become so commonplace, even among Christians, that its use has woven itself into the daily lives of countless men and women, disrupting marriages and short-circuiting believers' effectiveness for God. Users of pornography know their habit is wrong, but they ask, "What can I do to stop? How do I say no when porn tempts me?" Author Joe Dallas has worked for more than 25 years with Christian men caught in the porn trap and has developed a five-step plan for breaking the cycle and developing a practical structure anyone can implement to keep himself from the destructiveness of pornography. This concise and user-friendly manual is a must-have for the modern Christian man wanting to make a clean break from porn. With an emphasis on biblically-based principles, Five Steps to Breaking Free from Porn points the way to freedom and gives readers the tools they need to put the porn habit behind them forever.

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 juillet 2013
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736953382
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0184€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Cover photo Craig van der Lende / Stockbyte / Getty Images
Cover by Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota
FIVE STEPS TO BREAKING FREE FROM PORN
Copyright 2013 by Joe Dallas
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-5336-8 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-5338-2 (eBook)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
A WORD FROM JOE
This book is written to and for you if you have a porn problem because, sadly, it s a problem hugely affecting the Christian population. Perhaps you re a guy who has the problem, but not the beliefs expressed in this book. In short, you may not be a Christian. If that s the case, I m grateful you picked this up, and I sincerely hope that, whatever your worldview, you ll find some helpful principles and suggestions in these pages.
I d be less than honest, though, if I didn t point out the need to get to the root of the problem, which is much more than porn. It s the human condition. You can certainly improve your life by eliminating pornography from it, and I hope you will. But eternal questions still need to be answered. If they remain unanswered, then you ll have only scratched the surface by going porn free.
So please, once you ve finished reading the chapters, spend some time thinking over the steps to knowing God that are listed at the back of the book. Because in the end, my friend, nothing matters more than having full assurance that you re ready to meet Him, and Jesus Christ has made the provision for you so you can have that confidence.
God s best to you,
Joe
CONTENTS
A Word from Joe
Introduction
Step 1: Access
Step 2: Accountability
Step 3: Awareness
Step 4: Amends
Step 5: Anticipation
Appendix A: What About Masturbation?
Appendix B: Knowing God
Notes
About Joe Dallas
More Great and Informative Books
About the Publisher
INTRODUCTION

He said to me, Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, The L ORD does not see us, the L ORD has forsaken the land (Ezekiel 8:12).
Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight (Psalm 51:4).
Come, and let us return to the L ORD ; for He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up (Hosea 6:1).
When a man has a problem with porn, he has a problem with God. That s because the repeated use of porn involves giving himself permission to violate the God-given standards of chastity, monogamy, and a sound mind. A porn habit requires a man to keep a private but huge part of his life to himself, outside of God s will and authority. Conversely, to turn from porn is to relinquish his most private self back to God.
Are you ready to consider doing that? If so, this booklet is for you. If you re not, don t bother reading on.
This book is meant to be used. It s for you if you have a problem with porn, realize you need help, and are ready to take concrete steps to break the habit once and for all. Readiness is the key. This book isn t for you if you need to be convinced porn is wrong. If that question isn t settled with you yet, ask yourself if what you re getting from the stuff is worth what you re losing. If you come up with yes for an answer, come back when your answer is no, and we ll talk.
This book isn t for guys who want a detailed analysis of porn s adverse effects. Pornography does so much damage in so many areas of a man s life that I couldn t hope to cover them sufficiently in these pages. Besides, you know better than I do what it has cost you so far. Just consider what prompted you to look into this book, and I ll wager much of it had to do with loss. For example, I ll lose my marriage/reputation/self-respect/spiritual strength if I don t stop.
What can I add to that? Only this: Your use of pornography may well not be the only problem. It can become a bridge to more serious, life-altering actions. The guy who stimulates himself on hard-core images often finds the images lose their kick after a time, leaving him craving a stronger fix. The fix may then come through actions even more consequential than porn, such as online connections, strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, and affairs. These consequences can be prevented if a man takes steps to break the porn habit while the problem is still in the private stage.
This is doubly true if you re a family man. Your children can t help but be damaged if they find out that Dad, who preaches morality and chastity to them, has been practicing something altogether different behind closed doors. Your credibility as leader in the home is largely made or broken by consistency. Inconsistency is a problem no leader, especially the head of a household, can afford.
My goal isn t to provide an in-depth look at the psychological issues that might contribute to a man s weakness for lusty images. I fully believe there are problems of the soul that can make you more susceptible to certain vices, porn included. But lust is also an equal-opportunity sin. Guys with deep psychological wounds can fall into it, and guys bursting with emotional health can be just as vulnerable. So while a book on the psychology of porn use might be an interesting read, this book isn t it.
Instead, this is a handbook to help you break free from porn and stay that way. It s based in part on my years of experience counseling men who came to my office desperate for help with their sexual issues. They didn t come to me because of a bad decision they made. They came because of hundreds-even thousands-of bad decisions that linked together to forge a chain they wore like a prisoner s shackles.
The Chain Is Forged
The first link in the chain usually starts with a discovery. Some act-the use of porn, a sexual fantasy, whatever-delivers a perceived positive impact. A deep impact the brain carefully records for future reference. Then, when a man is either bored, or angry, or lonely, or uncomfortable in some way, the brain reminds him of the positive impact the sexual behavior delivered. So he repeats it to get relief from the current situation. Then he repeats it again, and soon the repetition becomes a pattern, the pattern becomes a dependency, and, link-by-link a chain is forged.
I know about this truth because I m someone who forged and wore that chain. I can attest to how light it seems at times but how heavy it actually is. Light, in the sense that it doesn t seem to be interfering with anything. No consequences seem to be forthcoming; no obvious toll is being taken. God is amazingly patient as this chain is being formed, allowing a man time to consider the secret sin he s entertaining and giving him the opportunity to walk away from it before it becomes an unmanageable bondage. Believe me, as you read this there are countless numbers of Christian men going about their church and family business looking fine on the outside, but privately forging chains and mistaking them for light jewelry. They re in for a terrible wake-up call. In fact, you must surely know this since you ve turned to this book for help.
Perhaps you ve realized that the weight of the chain grows without the wearer really catching on for a long time. But from the moment the links are forged, a man s mind is being darkened, his heart hardened, his integrity drained. And since those are internal rather than external consequences, they are easy to ignore, just like high cholesterol or blood pressure can be, until a crisis finally comes. And come it does. In your case it may already have weighed in, and the secret s out in the open. Scary and horrible to go through, yes, but necessary because at least now you re dealing with the problem before it exacts even more of a price you can t afford.
My goal is to help you break the chain by helping you dismantle the links in the chain related to your porn use. In part, I want to do that by urging you to look long and hard at how much the chain will eventually weigh and the damage it will cause to your mind, heart, and spirit. To help you break this chain, I m going to lead you through the same steps I use to help my clients. These steps are written from a Bible-centered, Christian perspective that recognizes three essential truths:

1. You were created . This means you re not only a created being, but that you ll answer to your Creator for the way you ve managed the body He entrusted you with.
2. You were created with intention by God. Paul tells us that all Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Your Creator didn t leave you to guess what His intentions for you might be. He spelled them out in His Word-a God-breathed, inspired document profitable to teach, correct, and equip you for the tasks He has for you. So we look to Scripture as our final authority, weighing every other philosophy or doctrine in light of what s already been revealed in the Bible. And in doing so, we find specific intentions described for all areas of life, including sexual expression.
3. Behavior outside those God-given intentions is counterproductive and, thus, can and should be overcome . Stepping outside of your Creator s intentions doesn t work no matter how good those steps may feel temporarily. Some people are smart enough