Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband , livre ebook

Baker Publishing Group - DMin Wright H. Norman

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99 pages

English

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Bookstore shelves are full of titles that tell women how to get what they want out of their man. But affectionate, long-lasting relationships thrive when the tables are turned--when each spouse focuses on giving, not getting. Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband delivers biblical and practical proven ways to encourage the man in every reader's life. This new book from bestselling author H. Norman Wright is packed with stories from wives struggling to understand their husbands' needs and desires; every woman will see herself and her marriage reflected in these deeply personal accounts. Readers will also hear the other side of the story: Men share the ups and downs of their marriage experiences and reveal the secret longings of their hearts. Every principle is presented with a true-to-life story so that wives can see the effects of encouragement, prayer, romance, and inspiration on marriages just like theirs. Based on his experience counseling thousands of couples over more than 40 years, Dr. Wright shows how great an impact spouses have on one another and how to turn that impact into a loving, joy-filled marriage that stands the test of time.

Informations

Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	08 mars 2012
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441267641
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0432€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband

© 2010 H. Norman Wright
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan. www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Bethany House Publishers edition published 2014
ISBN 978-1-4412-6764-1
Previously published by Regal Books
Ebook edition originally created 2013
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Other versions used are:
AMP —Scripture taken from THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE, Old Testament copyright © 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified New Testament copyright © 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
KJV — King James Version. Authorized King James Version.
THE MESSAGE— Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson, 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
NASB —Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible , © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
NKJV —Scripture taken from the New King James Version . Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
NLT —Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation , copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Phillips — The New Testament in Modern English , Revised Edition, J. B. Phillips, Translator. © J. B. Phillips 1958, 1960, 1972. Used by permission of Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc., 866 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10022.
TLB —Scripture quotations marked ( TLB ) are taken from The Living Bible , copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.
Contents

1. You Are Called to Be an Encourager
2. The Discouraged Husband (He’s Not a Pretty Sight)
3. To Encourage Him, You Have to Understand Him
4. Husbands Speak Out
5. What Not to Do (or The Worst Mistakes You Could Make)
6. Sex and Romance—Yes! It Does Bring Out the Best
7. Women Who Encourage Their Husbands Speak Out
8. Men Whose Wives Encourage Them Speak Out
9. The Power of a Praying Woman
Endnotes
“Thank you for believing in me.” These are the words that say it all—words that make all the difference in a man’s life! Whenever a husband responds in this way, his wife is fulfilling her calling.
When singer Kenny Rogers sang lyrics with the message, “She believes in me . . . yes, she believes in me,” he gave credit where credit is due—to a wife who sought to bring out the best in her man.
When is the last time the man in your life turned to you and said, “Thank you for believing in me” or “Thank you for bringing out the best in me” or “It’s your encouragement that makes my life different”? If you haven’t heard similar words lately, read what these husbands say about how their wives bring out the best in them:

My wife encourages me by making herself available to help me with details I miss when I am under pressure because of my urgent projects. She makes sure that her schedule allows her to be a part of my life. I am able to trust her in everything. She is committed to building up our marriage. She shows a genuine interest in what is important in my life, even if it isn’t an interest of hers. What I desire from her is encouragement, and she’s doing it.

She calls me several times a week at work to see how I am doing and to tell me that she has faith in me. That is so helpful, especially if I am struggling that day. She also calls to share her trials to give me a chance to encourage her. This in turn encourages me, because it makes me feel like she really cares about what I have to say. That makes me feel like she needs me. She’s helped me become who I am today.

She understands my physical pain, supports me with her energy and does what she can to take over some of the things I do to make life easier for me. She supports decisions I’ve made and helps in implementing and carrying out the course of action we’ve chosen. She’s there to talk to and voice her opinion. We can talk about most things in an analytical way.

My wife has been doing at least three things that I can think of to help me grow. Every time I do something that according to her was done very well, she speaks positive remarks regarding these things. For instance, when I preach, she tells me how well she thinks I presented the message. When I’ve not done well, she makes me remember that I can do it well. She helps me not to be discouraged by telling me she is sure that I will do better next time. To help celebrate my successes, she initiates a great night of lovemaking. That’s a wonderful experience.

My wife encourages me by wanting to spend time with me and going places I like to go (art shows, ball games, movies, and so on). She stays busy on her own, doing something almost all the time (chores, time with kids). That’s nice because I stay busy with other things or help with some of the same, and so the house runs smoothly without either of us being upset or critical of the other. She meets all my desires and needs in intimate ways. It’s satisfying and something I look forward to. We talk 15 minutes to an hour every evening, and she has both a listening ear and affirming responses, as well as an open and honest way about her. She is complimentary, faithful, loyal, dependable and committed to making the marriage and family work. And our relationship is not a competition.

I’ve not always heard positive responses when I’ve asked men how their wives bring out the best in them. Some men lament a lack of encouragement from their wives:

At the present time, my wife doesn’t do much in the way of encouragement. I don’t know if she doesn’t want to or maybe I am not letting her. We have each other, we are both newly saved, we do talk about the Bible, and that is encouraging. I guess I would like to hear her say she loves me. She only says it if I do. So I say it a lot more. When I have a bad day, I would like to relax. I just want to be supported in some of my dreams. She is the best part of my life. I just want to learn how to encourage her better too.

My wife does not encourage me with words. I am verbal and I do need that. I wish she would come and welcome me after I walk through the door at the end of the day.

I wish she would say she is proud of me and that I do a good job. I wish she would truly grant me forgiveness when I confess a wrong to her and ask for it. A hug or an unexpected kiss on the cheek from her would encourage me greatly. I have been frustrated with her words and actions in the past, and we cannot seem to overcome that. I have never been unfaithful, but I might as well have had an affair. We have been counseled. The advice has been to give it time; let her see God changing me; love her as Christ loved the church. I am trying to do that. I have come to the conclusion that I can do anything for her. I hope the Lord changes her heart this year.

There is no present encouragement. None! Her occasional praise for acceptably performed manual tasks is no encouragement whatsoever. I would be thrilled if she would simply acknowledge the legitimacy of my career and stop discouraging me from pursuing it. I would probably pass out from joy if she would go a step further and offer to seek ways in which I can pursue my calling with less impact on our family life.

Your husband’s need for encouragement is a real need, and he desires to receive it from you. To a great extent, encouragement is the way to bring out the best in your husband. In a sense, it’s like being his cheerleader.
E NCOURAGEMENT D EFINED
Through encouragement, every woman is given a power that can bring about change, growth and the fulfillment of potential in her husband. But it’s difficult to be an encourager if you don’t understand what encouragement really means.
To be an encourager, you need to have an attitude of optimism. The American Heritage Dictionary offers one of the better definitions of the word “optimist.” It’s a “tendency or disposition to expect the best possible outcome, or to dwell on the most hopeful aspect of a situation.” When this is your attitude or perspective, you’ll be able to encourage others. Encouragement is “to inspire; to continue on a chosen course; to impart courage or confidence.”
Encouragement is sometimes thought of as praise and reinforcement, but it’s also much more than that. Praise is limited; it’s a verbal reward. It emphasizes competition, it has to be earned, and it is often given for being the best. Encouragement, however, is freely given. It can involve noticing what others take for granted and affirming something that others notice but may never think of mentioning. Bruce Larson shared this experience:

Early one morning, I had to catch a plane from Newark, New Jersey, to Syracuse, New York, having returned late the previous night from leading one conference and on my way to another.
I was tired. I had not budgeted my time wisely, and I was totally unprepared for the intense schedule before me. After rising early and hastily eating breakfast, I drove to the airport in a mood that was anything but positive. By the time