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Baker Publishing Group - David Gudgel

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102 pages

English

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Will living together bring you closer or drive you apart? You are about to make a decision that will take your life in a totally new direction, one that will have a lasting impact on you and someone you love. If you are wrestling with that decision, now is the time to stop and set your emotions gently aside and take time to sort through your own feelings, as well as other people's opinions about what is best for you. Candid, caring, and thoughtful, Before You Live Together is uses true stories to illustrate different living-together situations and their outcomes. It also addresses the basic questions and issues you may have asked yourself, including:Is this the best way to find out if we are compatible?Why do we need a piece of paper to tell us we are committed to each other?Is it so much cheaper than paying two rents?While this book presents biblical values in a compelling and loving way, it never lectures, but instead seeks to help you decide what is best for both of you. Read it for yourself. Read it with the one you love. Read it to make the right decision at the time when it matters most.

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Christianity

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Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	08 août 2003
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441225207
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0432€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

PRAISE FOR
BEFORE YOU LIVE TOGETHER
My friend Dave Gudgel has written a very sensible and sensitive book on a very important issue. You should read it for yourself and then get a copy for every couple you care about that is considering living together without getting married. This well-researched and commonsense book could save a lot of heartache. I highly recommend it.
D R . N EIL T. A NDERSON
F REEDOM IN C HRIST M INISTRIES
Dave Gudgel offers some thought-provoking, humorous and biblical reasons to follow God’s blueprint for a romantic relationship. If couples want to do marriage right and make it last, they would do well to read Before You Live Together as soon as possible.
K IRK C AMERON
A CTOR
“I wouldn’t buy a car without driving it, so taking my potential mate for a test drive only makes good sense.” This sounds like a logical conclusion until you understand that our ways are not God’s ways. My friend Dave Gudgel unwinds the logic of living together before marriage, establishes how harmful it is to the couple and to society and then shows a better way.
My daddy was a bookie. Being raised as a gambler’s kid, I understand odds. I know not to bet very much on a long shot. Dave shows how living together before marriage makes a successful marriage a long shot at best. This book is a must-read for people of all ages who are seriously dating and for those who have already put their future marriage at risk.
J AY C ARTY
Y ES ! M INISTRIES
Wisdom begins with understanding the wisdom of God in our lives. Before You Live Together gives you a taste of how wise God is. This is a must-read for those who desire God’s blessing upon their marriage.
D R . D ARRYL D EL H OUSAYE
S ENIOR P ASTOR , S COTTSDALE B IBLE C HURCH P RESIDENT , P HOENIX S EMINARY
With thought-provoking insight, Dave Gudgel has crafted an excellent resource for anyone who is involved in counseling young couples. I appreciate his honesty and attention to carefully gathered statistics. Before You Live Together is a very helpful book!
R OBIN J ONES G UNN
B EST -S ELLING A UTHOR , T HE C HRISTY M ILLER S ERIES FOR T EENS AND THE G LENBROOKE S ERIES
Before You Live Together is an important, practical and easy-to-read book. It is a valuable tool for those who are taking an honest look at marriage. By evaluating the pros and cons of living together before marriage, the book challenges current social trends and guides couples toward God’s standards for happiness in relationships.
B OB P HILLIPS
A UTHOR , C OUNSELOR D IRECTOR AT L ARGE , H UME L AKE C HRISTIAN C AMPS
This book is long overdue. Before You Live Together deals with the cornerstone of a successful Christian marriage. I recommend it without reservation.
D R . K EN P OURE
D IRECTOR E MERITUS , H UME L AKE C HRISTIAN C AMPS
If you’re holding this book because a friend gave it to you, you can count that person as an exceptional friend. If you just picked it up, you can count yourself very wise for buying it and poring through its pages. From my perspective, Before You Live Together is a book that those of us in the counseling field have needed for years. From your perspective, it will give you the wisdom and sound counsel you will need to answer the hard questions on whether living together really works and makes sense. Before you make the decision to live together, read this book.
J OHN T RENT , P H .D.
A UTHOR , S PEAKER P RESIDENT , S TRONG F AMILIES.COM
Dave Gudgel’s book is packed with timely wisdom and warm encouragement. If you’re contemplating a life together or if you counsel couples who are, you’ll find life-changing insights in these pages. I highly recommend Before You Live Together .
B RUCE W ILKINSON
A UTHOR , N EW Y ORK T IMES B EST -S ELLERS T HE P RAYER OF J ABEZ AND A L IFE G OD R EWARDS

2003 David Gudgel
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
Revell edition published 2014
ISBN 978-1-4412-2520-7
Previously published by Regal Books
Ebook edition originally created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-for example, electronic, photocopy, recording-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Other versions used are:
THE MESSAGE— Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson, 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
NASB —Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
NKJV —Scripture taken from the New King James Version . Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
NLT —Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
The names of the couples whose stories are told in this book have been changed, but the illustrations are true.
Cover and interior design by Robert Williams Edited by Steven Lawson
C ONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Introduction Thinking About Moving In Together?
Part 1: Living Together
Case Study A (Part 1) Justin and Brooke: In the Beginning
Chapter 1 First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage
Chapter 2 The Five Reasons
Chapter 3 Welcome to the Real World
Chapter 4 Rehearsal for Marriage
Case Study A (Part 2) Justin and Brooke: The Rest of the Story
Part 2: How to Be Sure
Chapter 5 Are You Ready?
Chapter 6 He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Chapter 7 What About Sex?
Chapter 8 1-800-We-Need-Help
Part 3: Spiritual Insight
Case Study B (Part 1) Mark and Kathy: Considering Living Together
Chapter 9 Your Most Valuable Asset
Chapter 10 The Instructions
Chapter 11 Protect Your Soul
Chapter 12 The View from Above
Chapter 13 The Perfect Wedding
Case Study B (Part 2) Mark and Kathy: The Decision
Epilogue Your Story
Endnotes
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
Writing this book has been a God-thing. I could not have done it without Him, nor could I have finished it without the people He put into my life who have helped me in innumerable ways:
Bernice—This book is as much your work as mine. I love you. I will get your list done. Promise.
Kyle—Thanks for believing that this book has great potential and for steering me in the right direction.
Steve—I asked for a good editor and I got the best. Thanks for your insights and amazing skill.
Frank and Carol—Thank you for opening up your pool house overlooking the golf course to me. It provided a perfect retreat for writing. I owe you BIG.
Rick, Dave, Dana, Steve and Dale—Your support, encouragement and insights helped immensely. I miss our support group.
Penny, Kathy, Nancy, Brent and Christine—Your initial editing and insights were worth it. It is finally published!
All my friends and extended church family at Agoura Bible Fellowship—You supported us and made it possible for me to write this book while I was between churches.
And to all of you who gave me permission to tell your stories—Pray with me that your openness and honesty will help others who are struggling with the same decision with which you have struggled and made.
I NTRODUCTION
T HINKING A BOUT M OVING I N T OGETHER ?
In the 1970s a controversial television sitcom became a hit. Three’s Company was the story of three single young adults—two women and one man—who decided to live together. Although their relationship was only platonic, the very thought of people of the opposite sex who weren’t married cohabiting pushed the envelope of acceptable TV viewing.
Until the mid-twentieth century ( i.e. , for thousands of years), the family unit had been the center of society: It consisted of a mom, a dad and the children. Normally a child lived with his or her parents until he or she was old enough—often between 16 and 20 years old—to get married and move into his or her own home with his or her spouse.
Society has changed a lot. As people choose to marry and start their families much later in life than their predecessors did, most young people end up living on their own for a while. Single adults have many options: They can stay in their parents’ house, have their own apartment, share a home with friends of the same sex, move in with a group of men and women who are platonic friends or cohabit with someone with whom they are involved romantically. This book is focused on the latter group: two people who are dating and are considering living together before they get married.
Today, one out of two couples cohabit before they say “I do.” Most who cohabit think they will get married—someday. But, for various reasons, they believe that it makes sense to live together first.
Even though there is no until-death-do-us-part commitment, living together before marriage is still a huge step. This big decision will impact the rest of their lives: regardless of whether they marry, they will never be the same. Unfortunately, most couples do not take the time to research whether they are sure they should live together to find out whether they are sure about marriage.
In this book I have compiled information that I hope will help people make wise decisions in this area. Perhaps you are thinking about living with someone. You could be at the point in a relationship where you are considering marriage. Maybe you have a friend or family member who is struggling with thi