Am I Messing Up My Kids? , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - Lysa Terkeurst

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122 pages

English

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Lysa TerKeurst, mother of five and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, knows about the bouts of "mommy stress" that come with parenting and managing a home and a life. From her own experience and conversations with hundreds of other women, Lysa shares how mothers can release the guilt they sometimes feel andstop blaming their parenting skills every time a child does something wronglet kids live with the consequences of their bad choicessimplify life to create breathing roomquit comparing themselves to "perfect" momsturn to God for support, guidance, and patienceOverflowing with practical ideas, short Bible studies, and plenty of encouragement, this inspiring resource will help moms to realize that-with God's wisdom and mercy-they can experience peace and satisfaction while raising their kids.Rerelease of The Bathtub Is Overflowing but I Feel Drained

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 janvier 2010
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736936996
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0600€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.
Cover by Garborg Design Works, Savage, Minnesota
Published in association with the literary agency of Fedd Company, Inc., 9759 Concord Pass, Brentwood, TN 37027.
AM I MESSING UP MY KIDS?
Copyright 2006/2010 by Lysa TerKeurst
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
TerKeurst, Lysa.
Am I messing up my kids? / Lysa TerKeurst.-[Expanded ed.].
p. cm.
Rev. ed. of: The bathtub is overflowing but I feel drained, 2006.
ISBN 978-0-7369-2866-3 (pbk.)
1. Mothers-Religious life. 2. Motherhood-Religious aspects-Christianity. I. TerKeurst, Lysa. Bathtub is overflowing but I feel drained. II. Title
BV4529.18.T44 2010
248.8 431-dc22
2009031511
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 / VP-NI / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
God, I know I ask so many questions.
It s because being a mom is the toughest
privilege I ve ever loved. I don t want to mess
this up! So I simply offer my willingness to
be a great mom today. That s all I have to
give. I trust You to fill in the gaps and give
me the wisdom, patience, and discernment
that will be required of me. I love this child
I call my own, but in reality this child is
Yours first and You know them best. Thank
You for the honor to join You on this journey
of walking this precious person toward
physical, emotional, and spiritual maturity.
Contents

Being a Mom Is Tough
1. Am I Messing Up My Kids?
2. Could I Be the Worst Mom Ever?
3. Is It Possible to Escape the Good Mom/Bad Mom Trap?
4. Did I Really Just Say That?
5. Why Do I Always Feel So Stretched?
This Is All I Have to Give
6. What If My Plans Fail?
7. Who s Going to Fill Me Back Up?
8. Does Anyone Notice Me?
9. Does God Care About Me?
10. Is It Wrong to Treat Myself?
I Trust You to Fill In the Gaps
11.What About the Gaps in My Life?
12. Why Am I Always Complaining?
13. Why Am I Always Worried?
14. How Do Other Moms See Me-Super or Slacker?
15. Does Victoria s Secret Make Flannel PJ s?
This Child Is Yours First
16. What If My Child Isn t an Honor Roll Kid?
17. Why Do I Feel That It s My Fault When My Child Messes Up?
18. How Can I Give Grace Now?
19. What Will My Kids Remember Most?
20. What Do I Do When Life Gets Yucky?
Thank You for the Privilege of Being a Mom
21. How Do I Resign from the Mommy Guilt Club?
22. How Can I Keep an Eternal Perspective?
23. Would My Kids Say I Love Being a Mom?
24. Do They See Jesus in Me?
25. When Will I See the Humor in This?
Help Me to Walk My Child Toward Maturity
26. How Can I Get My Kids to Step Up and Pitch In?
27. What Is the Secret to Not Freaking Out?
28. How Can I Set Boundaries?
29. What s the Most Crucial Life Lesson?
30. Will This Be Worth It in the End?
Addendum: How in the World Do You Do What You Do?
Notes
About the Author
Other Books by Lysa TerKeurst
About the Publisher
Being a Mom Is Tough
1
Am I Messing Up My Kids?
The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous.
A NNA Q UINDLEN

I SANK DOWN DEEP INTO THE BUBBLES , my body tired and sore. I thought I was going to love motherhood and embrace it with great and unabashed joy, but that was not at all how I was feeling, especially today. What was wrong with me? Something had better kick in soon as I was about to start the whole adventure over again with baby number two. She d be arriving in five short weeks.
Tears trickled down my cheeks as I recalled the day s events. I d taken my 14-month-old daughter to a department store sale to stock up on things I needed for the new baby. I was well equipped for our trip with a stroller, snacks in little plastic bags, sippie cups full of her favorite beverages, and toys to keep her entertained, but she was not impressed with any of my offerings once we got to the store. She became obsessed with the cash register manuals behind the checkout counter.
She discovered them the first time she wiggled from the restraints holding her in the stroller. As she wandered behind the counter, the saleslady, who got my attention in a stern voice that made me feel incapable and irresponsible, asked me to please keep my daughter from wandering. I picked up Hope and put her back in the stroller. She was very unhappy, to say the least. I tried to appease her with several things from the diaper bag. When nothing was working, I pulled out my ultimate weapon, the bottle. I d promised myself I d only use this in a dire circumstance as we d been trying to wean her before the new baby came, but it brought me the peace and cooperation I needed to keep on shopping.
No sooner had I started comparing prices again when I spotted Hope s bottle on the ground and the stroller empty. About this time I heard a loud crash coming from behind the register with the irritated salesclerk and the cash register manuals. I flew behind the counter just as the stern woman was about to open her mouth. I held up my hand as if to say Nothing you are about to say could make me feel any more embarrassed than I already am.
I also felt condemning stares from other customers. I was sure they were all wondering why I couldn t keep my daughter under control and would love to give volumes of advice if only I d ask. I knew this is what they were thinking because B.K. (before kids) I used to see unruly children and have these same thoughts. My children would never act that way! That poor mother needs some advice from me. Oh, how our judgments come back to haunt us.
I picked up Hope, put her face where she had to look squarely into my eyes, and in the harshest voice I could whisper said, Mommy told you no. Do not get out of your stroller. Do not touch the books. Do not wander off. Do you understand NO!?! Just as I finished my correction, she reared her head back, threw it toward my head, and bit me! She sank her sharp little teeth right into my cheek. I could not believe what was happening. All I knew is that I had to get out of that store and away from my vampire child.
I tucked Hope, still screaming for the manuals, under one arm, picked the stroller up and tucked it under my other arm, and waddled out of the store. By the time I reached my car, we were a tangled mess of baby gear and tears. I drove straight to my husband s restaurant, marched in holding Hope at arm s length, and instructed him to put her in the baby backpack as she was staying with him for the remainder of the day. When he inquired about the bleeding gash on my face, all I could say was, This is exactly the reason I can t have her with me right now.
I drove home and drew a hot bath, but not even Calgon could take me away. As I lay my head back against the tub s edge, I kept thinking about what a failure I was. Through my tears I stared at the water pouring out of the tub s faucet. I want to offer what this water offers to everyone who releases it from the faucet. It brings warmth and comfort. It fills a space without leaving any gaps. It is clean and able to wash away the yuck of life. It has a vast supply of its offering. It is pure and without hidden or harsh elements. It fulfills the purpose for which it was made.
I let the water run until the tub could not contain another drop. Even at my slightest movement, the water sloshed about and overflowed onto the floor. There was such a stark difference between my soul and the water in the tub. I thought to myself, I am so completely spent. I have nothing left to give. What s wrong with me? I am so afraid I am going to be a complete failure as a mother. Lord, am I going to mess up my kids?
Most moms can relate to this feeling. That s why I wrote this book. It s not a parenting book. It s not a how-to-be-the-best-mom-ever book. It s not a one-size-fits-all advice book. It s an honest look at motherhood. Through all the pushes and pulls, stresses and strains, and triumphs and failures are perspectives I have found to be encouraging and even transforming. I have discovered that if I can change the way I think about something, I can change the way I react to it. If I change the way I react, I can change the way I define myself as a mother. I don t have to be defined as one barely hanging on in survival mode. I can be a mom who thrives and lives and loves the great adventure I ve been called to.
So whether you are pushing a stroller while a toddler squirms about or pushing a hole in the floorboard of your car while your teen learns to drive, join me for a few weeks and let s do life together. Keep your Bible handy and your heart open. I can t promise you ll know the answer to every motherhood question after we finish this book, but I can promise you ll look at your role with a refilled heart, a refueled approach, a renewed perspective, and a soul that feels refreshed.
I have been through lots more tub days since those early years with Hope. I now have five kids. Me! The woman who could barely handle one child, and now I have five. I am not a perfect mom, but I have learned to embrace motherhood with a great sense of joy. It is a calling. I must always keep in mind that how I handle this calling will shape the generations that come after me. What a sobering and yet thrilling thought. The traditions I start with my children will be carried on. The foundations I buil