10 Conversations Kids Need to Have with Their Dad , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - Jay Payleitner

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85 pages

English

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Dad, you love your kids to pieces. But whether it's father-son or father-daughter, how to talk to them--and about what--can be one of the big mysteries in raising children. Bestselling author and veteran dad Jay Payleitner comes to the rescue with a carload of great ideas about communicating those all-important life values to your kids to help them thrive. Good news is, you don't have to use a lot of words as you plant healthy thoughts about... Excellence: how your kids can hit home runs in life Emotions: experiencing and handling them as God's gift Integrity: being true to something beyond themselves Marriage: focusing on the positives, not the weeds, thorns, and crabgrass Immortality: living life as a friend of the One who's eternal Jay's straightforward, man-friendly advice and stories form a terrific, confidence-boosting resource for building lifelong positives into your family. Raising children just got easier! Great gift or men's group selection.

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 juillet 2014
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736960328
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0462€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible , 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. ( www.Lockman.org )
Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
All emphasis (italics) in Scripture verses has been added by the author.
Cover by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon
Cover photo i love images / Cultura / Getty Images
Jay Payleitner is represented by the Steve Laube Agency, 5025 N. Central Ave., 635, Phoenix, AZ 85012-1502.
10 CONVERSATIONS KIDS NEED TO HAVE WITH THEIR DAD
Copyright 2014 by Jay Payleitner
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-6031-1 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-6032-8 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Payleitner, Jay K.
10 conversations kids need to have with their dad / Jay Payleitner.
pages cm
ISBN 978-0-7369-6031-1 (pbk.)
1. Child rearing-Religious aspects-Christianity. 2. Parenting-Religious aspects-Christianity. 3. Fatherhood-Religious aspects-Christianity. 4. Conduct of life. 5. Christian life. I. Title. II. Title: Ten conversations kids need to have with their dad.
BV4529.17.P383 2014
248.8'421-dc23
2014006766
All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
Dedication
To my brother, Mark, in gratitude for the many years of bunk bed conversations
Contents
Dedication
Foreword : The Case for Questions by Bob Tiede
A Quiz : Are You and Your Kids Communicating?
Introduction : Things Need to Be Said
One : On Family
Two : On Competition
Three : On Creativity
Four : On Big-Picture Thinking
Five : On Work
Six : On Money
Seven : On Laughter
Eight : On Love, Sex, and Marriage
Nine : On Decision Making
Ten : On Eternity
Afterword : Ending Conversations
Notes
Books by Jay Payleitner
About the Author
The National Center for Fathering
Make your commitment to Championship Fathering
About the Publisher
Foreword
The Case for Questions
by Bob Tiede
I have six remarkable grandkids. And they all love to jump into Papa s arms for giant hugs. But with my youngest granddaughter, Clare, it wasn t always that way. When she was three or four, some shyness crept in, and Clare kept her distance.
Finally, during one visit, I gently said, Clare, can I ask you some tough questions? Those words drew her in. Her inquisitive nature prevailed. Like most kids, when a grown-up showed genuine interest in her opinion, Clare was eager to share.
My questions that day were not exactly puzzlers. Clare, what s your favorite color? Which do you think runs faster, a bunny or a frog? But the ice was broken. Three years later, every time she sees her Papa she joyfully expects a fresh batch of questions. Some thought-provoking, some silly.
My rewarding experience with Clare came to mind when I reviewed this book by my friend Jay Payleitner. He and I go way back. We worked together for more than a decade on Josh McDowell Radio . The parenting strategies that came up in the recording studio with Josh and co-host Wayne Shepherd hit close to home. Many have also found their way into the pages you re about to read.
Jay recommends two proven strategies for loving, leading, and dialoguing with your kids: Telling stories. Asking questions . To his credit, Jay is borrowing those parenting and leadership tactics from the greatest communicator in history: Jesus of Nazareth.
Consider the Prodigal Son, the Lost Sheep, the Four Soils, and the Good Samaritan. Jesus used parables to provide clear pictures of the attributes of God and how we should live as members of God s family. Earthly fathers can do the same thing.
Even better than story-telling is question-asking. The Bible documents more than 150 questions asked by Jesus. Can you imagine his voice?
Show me a Roman coin. Whose picture and title are stamped on it? (Luke 20:24 NLT ).
Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers? (Luke 10:36).
Do you love me? (John 21:17).
What is written in the Law? How do you read it? (Luke 10:26).
Simon, are you asleep? Couldn t you watch with me even one hour? (Mark 14:37 NLT ).
These questions stopped the disciples and others in their tracks. They were forced to think and respond. In the same way, a father is much more likely to engage his son or daughter by asking a question than by lecturing or barking orders.
I wholeheartedly endorse this book. Jay s light touch and winsome style will help focus your own convictions and encourage you to initiate some of those vexing conversations we all need to have with our kids.
Best of all, sprinkled throughout the book are challenging questions I can ask Clare and all my grandkids for years to come.
Bob Tiede
CRU Director of Global Operation Leadership Development leadingwithquestions.com
A QUIZ:
Are You and Your Kids Communicating?
1. Does your child spend more time texting with friends than talking to you? Even when you are in the same room, at the same table, or in the same car?
2. Do you get one-word answers to most of your questions? Words like fine, okay, later, no, or whatever ?
3. When your kids come home, do they go their separate ways? Hiding in their rooms? Buried in video games, smartphones, or other digital technology?
4. Do you know what your kid has planned for this weekend? This summer?
5. Do you know what your kid is considering for college or a career?
6. Can you name your child s best friend? Worst enemy?
7. Which of their hobbies, sports, and extracurricular activities do they really, really love? And which are they doing for you?
8. Is your kid making good, thoughtful decisions?
9. When you tell them about a mandatory family event happening in the next 48 hours, are they surprised even though you ve been talking about it for a month?
10. Has your child ever taught you something?
11. Does it feel like there s an invisible force field that prevents you from entering their bedroom?
12. Do you have a toddler or youngster and desperately want to lay the groundwork for years of fantastic conversations?
Dad, don t bother scoring this quiz. We both already know the results.
Introduction
Things Need to Be Said
F rom you to them. From them to you. There is much give-and-take to be given and taken.
And saying what needs to be said is going to take actual spoken words.
Which is actually very good news! Conversations with your kids are one of the great privileges of being a dad. They can be fun, rewarding, and empowering.
Without conversation, ideas will never be exchanged. Fears and frustrations will never be uncovered. Your wisdom and experience will remain untapped and wasted. You will never fully appreciate your child s fresh vision nor get a chance to help focus their unique energy.
Dare I say it? The best opportunity your children have to reach their God-given potential begins with you, Dad. And that requires the ability to converse.
Your three-part plan includes
1. entering their world
2. earning the right to be heard
3. clarifying your own perspective
Entering their world
If you live, play, eat, and exist in separate worlds, critical conversations will never take place.
Entering their world is easy when they re little. Young kids will make time for you and fit into your schedule. But as they get older, you need to make time for them. You need to intentionally create environments and situations that bring you face-to-face or side by side. Working. Traveling. Playing. Goofing. Competing. Gardening. Woodworking. Barbecuing. Stargazing. Dancing. Dining. Going out for ice cream. Strolling a beach. Shopping for a Mother s Day present. Or serving dinner in a homeless shelter. You get the idea.
The best conversations don t happen after you say, We need to talk. The best conversations with your son or daughter happen when you re doing . Maybe doing something for him, for her, for yourself, for a neighbor, for a friend, or even for God.
What s more, don t expect your kids to embrace all the great truths and core values in a single conversation. Handing down life skills is a way of life. It requires daily relationship. The Bible teaches that parents should pass on truths during our routine existence:
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
Dad, feel free to interpret that passage loosely to suggest, Talk to your kids about stuff that matters during TV commercials, riding in the car, strolli