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Austin Macauley Publishers - Moore Christopher

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150 pages

English

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The book I present to you has the working title of A Stroke of Luck or a Beginner's Guide to Being Hospitalised as a More-Mature Person and What You Can Reasonably Expect. I believe that it represents a piece of innovative non-fiction, in that it is written with a positive, yet realistic, message about being a 'hospital virgin' at a more mature age. The project has been developed through my own experience of hospitalisation recently, for treatment on a stroke. The concept is conceived via passages of digressions, examples of humour coupled with sharp intakes of inter-active discussions based on the everyday activities of a hospital ward that the reader may not be aware of, let alone expect. It is in this respect that the book is unique: whilst acknowledging that such institutions are full of medics and other professionals by definition, there is also a whole spectrum of 'bit-part' players and 'events' too, which can have either a detrimental or positive impact on the patient's recovery. Their role is examined through character development and astute observation of what actually occurs during a 'confinement': Victor Meldrew can and does 'believe it' he has too! The story itself is chronological: from pre-admission, admission, the period of the stay when time becomes meaningless and thoughts begin to wander to level of absurdity never truly thought possible, to discharge (which in itself seems a 'nasty' word to use along with 'release', terms which come in for a wry comment or two!) and after-care. Primarily, this book is written with the 'over fifties' market in mind specifically, but I would envisage it being an informative read to anyone who is new to the 'hospital game' or is simply filled with trepidation at the possibility of it.

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Popular psychology

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Publié par	Austin Macauley Publishers
Date de parution	30 septembre 2019
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781528958950
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0175€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

A Stroke of Luck
Christopher Moore
Austin Macauley Publishers
2019-09-30
A Stroke of Luck About the Author About the Book Dedication Copyright Information © Introduction The Prologue Houston, We’ve Got a Problem Lie Back and Think of England Food, Glorious Food… A Stroke of Luck or, Alternatively, What I Meant to Say Was This The Un-Magic Roundabout Living ‘with’ the Ceiling The Bard and Other Teams Pulse! Maintaining Your Good Looks The Trolley Without the Fringe on Top The Interlude The Eastbourne Wave Laura, the Thinking Person’s Lift Park Bench Discussion with a Diabetic The Sad Lament of Moby, Probably the Most Immobile Mobile Living in the West River Flavour Gorilla A Walk in the Woods ‘Let Us Be A-Bed’ The Storm Before the Lull Christmas Comes but 365 Days a Year (366 in a Leap Year) The Night Shift or to Sleep, Perchance to Dream Things Best Advised to Avoid Really Things That Might Give You ‘the Wobbles’, but Don’t Let Them! ‘D-Day’ Home, Home Again The Epilogue Post Script
About the Author
Christopher Moore was born in Wallington but did most of his ‘growing up’ in Tonbridge Kent with his mum, dad and ‘little sister’ Bev. His school days really were amongst the happiest of his life and, after obtaining his first degree at university, he embarked on a career as a teacher, taking up his first appointment in 1979 and remaining in the profession until retirement. Chris has two children, Sebastian and Katrina, and four grandchildren. He has many interests, including politics, music, poetry and working as a radio presenter.
About the Book
The book I present to you has the working title of A Stroke of Luck or a Beginner’s Guide to Being Hospitalised as a More-Mature Person and What You Can Reasonably Expect . I believe that it represents a piece of innovative non-fiction, in that it is written with a positive, yet realistic, message about being a ‘hospital virgin’ at a more mature age. The project has been developed through my own experience of hospitalisation recently, for treatment on a stroke. The concept is conceived via passages of digressions, examples of humour coupled with sharp intakes of inter-active discussions based on the everyday activities of a hospital ward that the reader may not be aware of, let alone expect. It is in this respect that the book is unique: whilst acknowledging that such institutions are full of medics and other professionals by definition, there is also a whole spectrum of ‘bit-part’ players and ‘events’ too, which can have either a detrimental or positive impact on the patient’s recovery. Their role is examined through character development and astute observation of what actually occurs during a ‘confinement’: Victor Meldrew can and does ‘believe it’ he has too! The story itself is chronological: from pre-admission, admission, the period of the stay when time becomes meaningless and thoughts begin to wander to level of absurdity never truly thought possible, to discharge (which in itself seems a ‘nasty’ word to use along with ‘release’, terms which come in for a wry comment or two!) and after-care. Primarily, this book is written with the ‘over fifties’ market in mind specifically, but I would envisage it being an informative read to anyone who is new to the ‘hospital game’ or is simply filled with trepidation at the possibility of it.
Dedication
I wish to dedicate this book to all of the very kind people who helped me during my hospitalisation, to my friends, and to the two most important ladies in the world: my sister and my mum, both of whom I love so much.
Copyright Information ©
Christopher Moore (2019)
The right of Christopher Moore to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781528958950 (ePub e-book)
www.austinmacauley.com
First Published (2019)
Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LQ

OR A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO BEING HOSPITALISED AS A MORE ‘MATURE’ PERSON AND WHAT YOU CAN REASONABLY EXPECT!
Introduction
My name is Chris. If I’m being told off for any misdemeanour, be it a large one or a small one, then my name becomes ’ Christopher’ , with a very strong emphasis on the ‘Chris’ syllable. Conversely, if I had done something very good indeed, like popping up the road to buy some milk and ‘The Daily Mail’ , or mowing the lawn, or attempting to sort out the computer, then, as if by magic, my name transforms into ‘Chrissie Sweetie’ , or, at a push, ‘My Darling’ , complete with a couple of house-points to boot.
‘And who, pray (could be ’prey’ when I think about it) is responsible for changing your name, depending upon your actions?’ I hear you asking (that, too, is a pretty stupid thing to say really because of course I don’t hear you in any shape or form, but I guess I can hear you asking that question, along with ‘Is it your missus?’).
To the supplementary part of the question, I can respond with a categorical ‘No’. Nisi’s, Absolutes and solicitor’s fees put an end to my status as a married man after twenty-three years served as part of a life sentence. No—the guilty party is none other than my mum. I too can play the name-change game. If I need to offer a slightly formal response to one of her many enquiries, the term ’ Mother’ comes into play. On the other hand, if I am thanking her for a cup of tea served to me in bed at precisely 06:45 hours, it’s appropriate to use the title ‘Mum’, ‘Ma’, ‘Mom’ or ‘Mummy’. These are generic terms of endearment and can be interchanged as often as necessary to avoid repetition.
We all have or had a mum otherwise we would not be in any form of existence. We wouldn’t even be an ‘ex’ . We certainly would not have been a glint in our mother’s eye (or eyes, if she is blessed with two). And don’t we love them! Of course, we do! I love mine to bits. Of course, they have their little foibles. For example, my mum will quite often (in fact, let’s ignore the word ‘quite’) start a conversation like this:
“Christopher, you really must lose some weight—you’re fat!” (Note the usage of ‘Christopher’ and the unambiguous nature of her observation.)
“I’m doing my best Mum, honest…”
“Well, it’s not good enough Christopher…”
She then proceeds to serve me a portion of dinner, which is large enough to serve an army and the opposing army too! Then, at the end of said meal, she will invariably say:
“Come on Chris, just finish those potatoes and broccoli up; you know I don’t like to throw food away.”
“But, you said I need to…”
“That’s it son, you eat up…”
So, I duly oblige, stuff my face and get fatter and fatter by the day. A couple of hours pass in a drowsy, half asleep, wind-laden state, which is then followed by the statement from Mum which I have been anticipating:
‘Come on, Christopher, wake up. You know your trouble don’t you Christopher? You eat too much and don’t exercise enough; you’ll get fat, you know…’
Oh well. Worse things happen at sea, as it is so profoundly mentioned. You might hit an iceberg I suppose. Nonetheless, I fail to see how a non-descript item of rabbit food could cause considerable damage, ‘cos (see what I’ve done there, clever or what? OK…’ what’ ) as an item, it is not particularly substantial.
Mothers seem to live in a time warp whereby their offspring remain at the age of seven ( Sev-errnn, as good old Len is prone to saying), totally ignoring the fact that the ravages of time have taken their toll. I AM 60. There. Said it. Am I bovvered? A soon to be OAP! Will get a bus pass soon. Get 25% off at ‘Specsavers’. I qualify for free medication now, which is saving me an absolute fortune. Also, I can apply for a Senior Person’s Railcard (why don’t they call it an ‘old-has-been’ railcard—seems about right to me?
And there, in a very circuitous fashion, is the main emphasis of my story. I might be 60. But, I don’t feel 60. I like being in the company of young people. I volunteer five days a week at my local community radio station, ‘Endeavour 107FM’ , (also available on line if you google it!) I present ‘ The Drive Show’ , Monday to Thursday, 16:00 to 19:00, and ’The Sixties Celebration’ on Sunday mornings, 11:00 to 13:00; a show which, as it implies really, celebrates the music of the sixties! A relatively new venture for me, but also directly concerned with broadcasting, is co-presenting a series of shows on a ’pod-cast’ station based in Norwich called ‘Deep Red Radio’. These are not jobs. These are hobbies. I give at least fifteen hours per week of my own time for no remuneration whatsoever. In fact, I pay a subscription, which is fair enough because you generally must pay for entertainment anyway in one form or another. I also enjoy writing stories and poems. I am also ‘recovering’ from my professional career as a teacher, which I started ‘practicing’ in 1979 (why is it called that, and why are GP’s surgeries called ‘Practices’; it hardly installs confidence, does it?). I am now retired from ‘the noble profession’ but that is another story altogether.
So, why do I do these things rather than just sit down with a pipe and slippers? As the Meerkats say ‘Simples!’ I neither smoke a pipe nor wear slippers; I do a pretty passable Sandie Shaw impression within the confines and privacy of my humble abode.
The truthful answer is equally as straightforward—I love them. I would miss these activities badly. They keep me young, in spirit if not in body. I feel fit (not as in the attractive o