83 pages

English

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The Power of Change , livre ebook

Outskirts Press - Patrick Middleton

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83 pages

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Extrait

Description

In The Power of Change, Patrick Middleton shows with clear and convincing evidence that the antidote to self destructive behavior is discovering and cultivating self awareness, which leads to self understanding, ego control and the gradual end to impulsive decision-making. To help readers better understand the concept of self awareness, he provides simple, but profound insight into the workings of the "unaware" mind, drawing on personal experiences and vignettes collected over his 49 years of incarceration. A refreshing aspect of The Power of Change is Middleton's ability to empower and inspire the reader without placating, sugar coating or using psychological jargon that only a therapist would understand. With both humility and optimism, he readily acknowledges that life ⎯ especially life in prison ⎯ is difficult, demanding and often an uphill challenge. And he does so neither in a condescending nor self aggrandizing manner. Nor does he claim the suggestions in his book will make all problems go away, but, he writes, "once you become aware that you are aware, you will have the confidence to know that the power of change is in your hands."

Each of the book's 28 chapters presents a different life situation that is designed to connect readers to practical ways to discover and cultivate self awareness, and to learn to Be in the present. Chapter titles reflect the wealth of wisdom and practicality of this well-written book; for example, "Be Honest with Yourself," "Become Aware of What You're Thinking," "Resolve Your Bitterness," "Here's What You Have to Feel if You're Truly Sorry," "Discover the Present and Be in It," "Raise Your Self Standards," "Practice Empathy," "Develop a Support Team," "Acknowledge Your Success," "Live Every Day With a Purpose." Included in each chapter are carefully crafted exercises for incorporating the chapter lessons into one's everyday life.

The Power of Change is a must-read for every prisoner who desires the mental tools and knowledge to bring about responsible, lasting change in their lives. An inspiration, this book is a gift to humankind, easily read and one that will be dog-eared, underlined, and revisited by readers time and again. Every friend and family member of an incarcerated person will want their loved one to have this book.

About the Author: Patrick Middleton has been incarcerated in Pennsylvania since 1975. From 1978 to 1990, he was a full-time student in the University of Pittsburgh's in-house college program at Western Penitentiary on the North Side of Pittsburgh, achieving scholarship status throughout his 12 year student tenure. In 1990, he earned his Ph.D. in Instruction and Learning, becoming the first and only prisoner in America to earn a Ph.D. in a classroom setting. He has taught undergraduate and graduate students in both the University of Pittsburgh and Villanova University's in-house prison college programs. He is the author of two instructor's manuals in psychology; a memoir, Incorrigible; and a literary novel, Eureka Man.

Sujets

Santé et bien-être

Confiance en soi et estime de soi

Confiance en soi

Confiance

Personal Growth

Self-Esteem

Self-help

Informations

Publié par	Outskirts Press
Date de parution	31 mars 2023
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781977263483
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0500€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book.

This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Outskirts Press, Inc. http://www.outskirtspress.com

Outskirts Press and the “OP” logo are trademarks belonging to Outskirts Press, Inc.

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Table of Contents

AUTHOR’S PREFACE TO THE POWER OF CHANGE 1. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF 2. BECOME AWARE OF WHAT YOU’RE THINKING

3. LEARN SIMPLE PROBLEM-SOLVING STRATEGIES

4. FIND YOUR MOTIVATION AND PATIENCE WILL FOLLOW

5. WORK ON YOUR FLAWS GRADUALLY

6. SET REALISTIC GOALS 7. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE 8. USE VISUAL IMAGERY

9. RESOLVE YOUR BITTERNESS

10. DON’T GET PULLED OFF YOUR SQUARE

11. DISCOVER THE PRESENT AND BE IN IT

12. REFLECT ON ALL YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF

13. TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH

14. RAISE YOUR SELF-STANDARDS 15. WHAT YOU HAVE TO FEEL IF YOU’RE TRULY SORRY 16. ACCEPT OTHERS AS YOU ACCEPT YOURSELF

17. IMPROVE YOUR VOCABULARY

18. DON’T ARGUE OVER TRIVIAL MATTERS

19. MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE

20. PRACTICE EMPATHY

21. TRY A NEW APPROACH

22. DEVELOP A SUPPORT TEAM

23. CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILD

24. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SUCCESSES

25. OPEN UP YOUR SHELL

26. KICK GOSSIP TO THE CURB

27. LIVE EACH DAY WITH A PURPOSE

28. DISCOVER THE UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

AUTHOR’S PREFACE TO THE POWER OF CHANGE

When pevple in svciety ask svmevne in prisvn what it’s like inside, they are mvst vften met with replies like, “It’s sheer hell”, vr “It’s miserable and inhumane.” If asked tv elabvrate, prisvners typically pvint tv examples vf Vivlence, cvnflicts with guards and vther staff, a lack vf suppvrt frvm family and friends. Rarely is there any mentivn vf the real svurce vf the prisvners’ prvblems, that being, vurselVes, vur inner turmvil. I began studying human behaVivr a little vVer 45 years agv. At the time, I had just started serVing a life sentence at Western Penitentiary vn the Nvrth Side vf the city vf Pittsburgh. Western was a petri dish fvr radical rehabilitativn prvgrams at the time. Prisvners cvuld purchase and wear their vwn clvthing in the eVenings and weekends. There were certified Vvcativnal schvvl prvgrams and Varsity spvrts prvgrams where the best athletes gvt tv hvst vther prisvn Varsity teams and traVel tv their prisvns tv cvmpete. And there were weekly military Veterans, N.A. and A.A. grvups whv came frvm all vVer the city in the eVenings. Twv renvwned psychiatrists flew in frvm New Yvrk City each week tv cvnduct grvup and vne-vn-vne therapy sessivns. The prisvn was alsv hvme tv the mvst prvgressiVe fvur-year cvllege degree prvgram in the cvuntry. Mv nday thrvugh Friday, mvrnings, afternvvns and eVenings, cvllege prvfessvrs and their graduate stu dents arriVed frvm the UniVersity vf Pittsburgh’s main campus tv vffer a Variety vf cvurses in a Variety vf disciplines. It was in this UniVersity vf Pittsburgh’s prisvn cv llege prvgram where I spent 12 straight years, learning eVerything I cvuld abvut eVery subject that was put befvre me. Nv subject interested me mvre than the wvrkings vf the human mind, particularly, hvw we learn, and hvw we “unlearn.” My studies in educativnal psychvlvgy led me vn a quest tv find the answers tv such questivns as, why were the Vast majvrity vf my fellvw prisvners, myself included, sv self-destructiVe and filled with discvntent and unhappiness? Thevries abvund as tv w hy pevple becvme criminals, and they are equally plentiful when it cvmes tv hvw tv bring abv ut change. This bvvk is nvt abvut thevries. It is abvut explvring ways tv make yvur life mvre fulfill ing and prvductiVe thrvugh persvnal transfvrmativn. If yvu knvw there is unhappiness and discvntent within yvu, if yvu’re tired vf being angry and feeling hvpeless, this bvvk can help yvu. Whether yvu’re serVing fiVe years, 10 years, 20 years, vr life withvut parvle, yvu can learn tv liVe a purpvseful life. All it takes tv begin is tv haVe a genuine desire tv change and a willingness tv be hvnest with yvurself. In a strange way, we prisvners may be in a better pvsitivn than pevple in the free wvrld tv bring abvut awareness and change in vur liVes. After all, we haVe fewer distractivns and mvre vppvrtunity fvr self-reflectivn. My hvpe is that the tvpics and exercises presented in this bvvk will help yvu bring abvut cvnscivus awareness vf whv yvu really are and what yvu’re capable vf dving with yvur life if yvu can cvme tv knvw that the past and future dv nvt exist, vnly the present matters. As yvu begin yvur jvurney thrvugh this bvvk, my adVice is this: Keep an vpen mind. The mvre vpen yvur mind is, the mvre receptiVe yvu will be tv entertaining new ways vf seeing. When this begins tv happen, yvu’ll experience mvre enthusiasm and hvpe than yvu might haVe imagined pvssible. Nvw let’s get started!

Patrick Middletvn April 29, 2023

THIS SoURCEBooK is dedicated tô my partner and artist wife Marta Bartôlôzzi whô taught me hôw impôrtant it is tô côntinue tô dô this wôrk and tô share it with my fellôw man and wôman.

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

Of all the qualities that go into being a responsible, well-adjusted person, self-honesty is at the top of the list. Having spent most of my youth and early adult life in and out of juvenile institutions and reform scho ols, I can attest to the fact that my downfall in life was due to my inability to be honest with myself. And having lived and interacted with thousands of prisoners over the past 48 years and counting, I am convinced that a lack of self-honesty is the number one source of most prisoners’ problems as well. Without self-honesty, it’s impossible to own up to the ways in which we contribute to our own misfortu ne and unhappiness. Self-honesty is such a powerful trait that combined with our own deep-down desire to change, little else is needed to start the journey. Let’s begin with a test to see how you rate your own self-honesty. For this assessment, you’ll need to sit or stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at yourself. Try to look beyond your physical features and into your inner self. Think about who you really are and what’s become of your life up to this point. Make a genuine effort to be completely honest. You should be having a heart-to-heart confrontation with yourself right now. When you’re ready, ask yourself, “Who’s responsible for the condition my life is in right now?” Take your time and just be honest. If you conclude that your family, your co-defendant, society, the police, or the criminal justice system, etc., are responsible for the condition your life is in today, this book may not be for you. But if you answered, “I am responsible for the condition my life is in right now,” turn back to the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I willing to learn the skills necessary to becoming a happy, responsible and productive person?” If your answer is yes, continue reading. If you’re not yet sure about making such a commitment, I’d like you to also continue reading until you are sure one way or the other. The fact is that no matter what unfair circumstances or adversities we’ve been confronted with in the past, there is no doubt about one thing: we can’t go back and change things. What’s happened has happened. What we can change, though, is how we live the rest of our lives. We have choices to make. One of those choices is to ownthe truth about ourselves and our past. When we aren’t used to being honest with ourselves, it often takes some major crisis in our lives to begin facing the truth about ourselves. Ask any recovering alcoholic or drug abuser how they came to stop using, and they’ll more often than not tell you about a certain experience they had that finally led them to discover the truth about themselves and how they had been living. Such experiences are often called hitting rock bottom. But you don’t have to be a drug addict or an alcoholic to hit rock bottom and begin facing the truth about you rself. I know that from my own personal experience. The fact that you’re reading this book may be an indication that you realize you’re not happy with the way you’ve been living your life and you genuinely want to change. This simple acknowledgement took honesty and courage on your part and is the first step in the right direction. If you’re tired of making the same mistakes over and over, you can begin changing this self-destructive pattern in your own life today. As we proceed to the next chapter, your willingness to reflect honestly on the contributions you’ve made to your past problems and misfortunes and your current unhappiness will go far in setting a positive climate within, thus opening the door for personal growth and change. You can gain invaluable insight and identify solutions to problems in a fraction of the time it usually takes when honesty is your foundation. The following exercises will help you get started.

EXERCISES

When we’re not honest with ourselves, it’s usually because we don’t want to face the truth. Self-honesty requires that we expose ourselves to the truth about ourselves. Often that truth is something ugly and difficult to face.

I. Read the following examples and identify the self-lie each person is telling.

1. “Whenever I start to wonder what I’m going to do about this or that problem, I always end up telling myself, ‘I’ll think about it when the time comes.’ The only thing is, when the time comes, I never think about it. I just go with the flow.”

What is the lie?

2. “There’s a girl I’m crazy about and she’s crazy about me. I buy her everything she needs and most o f what she wants. There’s only one hitch. We are like two opposing chemicals that cause a crazy reaction every time we’re together. We fight all the time. She’s had me arrested three times already for domestic violence. We’re back together now and things are going smooth.”

What is the lie?

3. “My childhood friend, Maurice, and I are as close as two brothers can be. What’s crazy is, every time we go out on a mission, I’m the one who ends up going to jail. But you know what? Maurice stays true to his word. He always sends me commissary money while I’m down. That’s because of the bond we have between us. He’s my man.”

What is the lie?

4. I get a tight knot in the pit of my stomach every night when I’m out on the corner with my friends. It goes away after I take a drink or smoke some weed. Then I’m good to go.”

What is the lie?

5. “School just wasn’t for me, man. The only class I did any good in was gym. It ain’t that I’m dumb o r nothing, cause I got a pocket full of cash and three men working the corners for me. I just wasn’t born wired to learn the ABCs.”

What is the lie?

II. You’ve no doubt heard the saying, “The truth hu rts.” The fact is, the truth only hurts until we are able to face it and embrace it. Then the truth becomes our friend. Complete these phrases.

I would really like to be honest about

Congratulations! Seriously, you’ve just been honest with yourself about three things you would like yo urself to be honest about! That’s progress! III. Now list three things about yourself that you are unhappy with, e.g., “I’m too quick to judge other people.”; “I like to read but I have a very poor attention span.”; “I don’t have any real skills to earn a living with.”

IV. List concrete actions you can take to change each of the three things you’re unhappy with:

NOTE:As we move forward in the chapters, you will learn the skills needed to make most of the changes you want to make in your life. Let’s get busy!