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96 pages

English

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An integrated resource for greater happiness, Rock & Water will keep you moving peacefully through the unpredictable ups and downs of life.

Just as a stream peacefully wanders through the natural world, over, around, or between rocks, Rock and Water provides skills that can help you navigate through the obstacles of life. Author Scott Cooper introduces 18 basic skills for enhancing and sustaining happiness that will uphold and carry inner peace and happiness from one day to the next -- skills that are based on Scott Cooper's research in the fields of cognitive psychology and mindfulness/acceptance. Cognitive psychology is grounded in the theory that our happiness is strongly influenced by our thinking.

It's not so much a situation that brings unhappiness, but rather our perception of a situation.

Mindfulness/acceptance practice is grounded in applying more nonreactive acceptance to daily living; particularly when it comes to daily dilemmas that we can't control. In this new book, Rock and Water maintains the strong point of view that happiness is not enhanced by more talk about happiness, but by applying these conscious -hands-on- techniques that help us to cope with the inner sources of unhappiness---- this is the core of what cognitive and acceptance-based skills are all about.

These skills are based primarily on current research and practice in the fields of cognitive-behavioral psychology and mindfulness/acceptance, two disciplines that have mostly been isolated from each other. Rock and Water is research-based and practical, while also being philosophical and personal; and includes several narratives from the life experiences of a wide variety of prominent people in history (Viktor Frankl, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, Audrey Hepburn, Mohandas Gandhi and many others).

Sujets

Paix

Inspiration

Happiness

Harmony

Peace

Thought

Mindfulness (Buddhism)

New Thought

Body (disambiguation)

Armonía (desambiguación)

personal Growth

Mindfulness

Informations

Publié par	DeVorss & Company
Date de parution	10 octobre 2017
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780875168975
Langue	English

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ROCK AND WATER
ROCK
AND
WATER
THE POWER OF THOUGHT THE PEACE OF LETTING GO
Cognitive and Acceptance-Based Skills for Greater Happiness in Everyday Living

SCOTT COOPER
ROCK AND WATER
Copyright ©2017 by Scott Cooper
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.
PRINT ISBN: 9780875168968
EBOOK ISBN: 9780875168975
First Printing, 2017
DeVorss & Company, Publisher
P.O. Box 1389
Camarillo CA 93011-1389
www.devorss.com
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cooper, Scott, author.
Title: Rock and water : the power of thought and the peace of letting go :
cognitive- and acceptance-based skills for greater happiness in everyday
living/ Scott Cooper.
Description: Camarillo, CA : DeVorss publications, [2017] | Includes
bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017016837 (print) | LCCN 2017036182 (ebook) | ISBN
9780875168975 (ebook) | ISBN 9780875168968 (pbk. : alk. paper)
Subjects: LCSH: Happiness. | Thought and thinking. | Social acceptance. |
Cognitive psychology.
Classification: LCC BF575.H27 (ebook) | LCC BF575.H27 C667 2017 (print) | DDC
158.1--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017016837
TABLE OF CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
We Were Meant to Be on This Planet
Part One
Rock—The Power of Thought
SKILL 1
Upgrade Your Mood by Upgrading Your Thinking,
SKILL 2
Noticing and Responding to Thinking Mistakes,
SKILL 3
Reasonable Optimism,
SKILL 4
Figuring Out the Cash Value of Beliefs,
SKILL 5
Choosing Sensible Core Beliefs,
SKILL 6
Working through Diehard, Nonsensible Beliefs,
SKILL 7
Solution Thinking,
SKILL 8
Upgrade Your Mood by Jumping In,
SKILL 9
Choosing Your Big Worldview: Cosmic Beliefs,
Part Two
Water—The Peace of Letting Go
SKILL 10
Simple Forms of Letting Go,
SKILL 11
Nonjudgmental Awareness in Everyday Living,
SKILL 12
Acceptance as a Portal to Letting Go,
SKILL 13
Acceptance as a Tool for Dealing with Unpleasant Emotions,
SKILL 14
Letting Go of Things That Don’t Have Value (Integrity),
SKILL 15
Letting Go of Too Much Self-Centeredness (Kindness),
SKILL 16
Letting Go of Frustration (Patience),
SKILL 17
Letting Go of Fight and Flight (Assertiveness),
SKILL 18
Meditation for the Nonpractitioner,
EPILOGUE
The Nonpursuit of Happiness,
SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY
To Adam, Jackson, and Brooke
ROCK AND WATER
PROLOGUE
We Were Meant to Be on This Planet

The pursuit of human happiness is built into the cosmos … really.
The highly specific laws of physics and the explosive birth of the universe provided everything necessary to produce life. The development of life on Earth hasn’t been precisely predictable, but it hasn’t been random either. It’s clear that life on Earth occurs only down certain pathways and takes on only certain forms, and it does so quite abundantly.
We humans were meant to be in this world. Admittedly, it doesn’t always feel this way. When I’m sitting in a traffic jam on the Golden Gate Bridge or sick in bed with the flu or catching a glimpse of certain reality TV shows, life does not feel supremely purposeful. And more painfully, when I read much of anything about the history of human warfare or see headlines of tragic accidents in my local newspaper, life can seem as if it were not meant for humans at all. As William S. Burroughs once wrote, “After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say, ‘I want to see the manager!’”
But once here, some things become pretty obvious. The clear earthy purposes of our human body are survival and reproduction. We are born into bodies that over eons have developed natural faculties to help us function and survive in this world and allow us to provide the same for our offspring. But it’s also clear that the purpose of an advanced human mind goes well beyond survival needs by allowing us to experience life and the universe in uniquely personal ways that, in turn, go well beyond physical survival. Our minds allow us to experience the following: Selfhood and personality Family, friends, and humanity A physical body and a natural world The ability to do and create Reasoning, imagination, and emotion Knowledge, science, and wonder Language, art, and music Beauty and wisdom Joy and suffering Good and evil Great uncertainty and the freedom and choice-making that come with it The challenge of working with and through an imperfect world
Believing that the sole purpose of a human mind is physical survival seems akin to believing that the sole purpose of a Boeing 747 is to blow leaves.
Among all our experiences, we humans are innately drawn to wanting to feel happiness—defined in scientific parlance as “subjective well-being” (or as “no worries” in my kids’ jargon). Among all our possibilities, happiness is of compelling, fundamental, instinctive interest to each of us. We are driven to engage in those activities that we think will make our lives better (everything from getting a salary increase to spending a weekend in Disneyland) and avoiding what we think will make our lives worse (everything from putting on too much weight to spending a week in Disneyland).
Since ancient times, humankind has put a lot of time and energy into determining how to best obtain happiness (especially among the ancient Greek and Roman philosophers and among sages within the Jewish, Hindu, Taoist, Confucian, Buddhist, Christian, and Islamic traditions). For thinkers such as Socrates, Plato, and the Stoics, the most fundamental question was how people should best live. Their general conclusions were to have reverence for the universe, live justly, and accept what we cannot change.
In modern times, beyond the well-considered observations and reasoning of sages, we have the benefit of academic specialists who survey and study humans and strive to identify the factors that seem to accompany human well-being. According to Dr. Ed Diener, an international expert in the study of happiness from the University of Pennsylvania, research has found that the following five core factors can contribute to human happiness: Loving relationships Work satisfaction Physical and mental health Sufficient material well-being Finding meaning (spirituality)
But these factors lead to subjective well-being only if they result in us having satisfying thoughts and feelings inside —and only if we develop the ability to cope internally with life experiences that don’t go well. We can have good friends and a satisfying job and still be unhappy. We can have all the food, shelter, clothing, and lottery winnings imaginable and still worry. We can fully participate in faith communities or other supportive social groups and still have self-doubt and anxiety. On the other hand, we can experience hardship and tragedy and still find inner peace and strength. We can live with less material wealth and still be content. We do not fully experience well-being until we experience it internally . As Aristotle wrote, “Happiness is an activity of the soul,” an internal activity that requires some conscious effort.
Another academic expert on the study of happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside, has found that the happiest people in her studies (1) spend a great amount of time with family and friends, (2) are often the first to lend a helping hand, (3) savor life’s enjoyable activities, (4) engage in physical exercise, and (5) are deeply committed to lifelong goals and ambitions.
But again, for the happiest people, these more external behaviors are accompanied by having satisfying and helpful thoughts and feelings inside . Such people are given to expressing gratitude, perceiving life with general optimism, and learning to internally cope with life’s challenges. Additionally, Dr. Lyubomirsky and her colleagues believe, based on their own and others’ studies, that approximately 50 percent of our happiness is based on our own individual natural genetic-happiness set point (or, how happy we are hardwired to be), 40 percent on our selected thinking and behaviors, and only 10 percent on our life circumstances, such as material wealth. Their research suggests that there is room (at least 50 percent worth) for each of us to make a difference when it comes to our personal well-being.
It should be noted that enhancing our inner well-being is not only good for our mental life, it’s good for our bodies. In tracing the lives of children into adulthood over a thirty-year period, researchers at Harvard University found that optimism can cut the risk of coronary heart disease by half. The protective effects of hopefulness and emotional balance are physiologically distinct and measureable. Long-term unhappiness and stress can add wear and tear to our biological systems in ways that eventually lead to serious illness.
Rock and Water was written to provide access to basic skills for enhancing our happiness. These skills are based primarily on modern research and practice in the fields of cognitive psychology and mindfulness/acceptance practice. Cognitive psychology is grounded in the theory that our happiness is strongly influenced by our thinking. It’s not so much a situation that brings unhappiness, but rather our perception of a situation. If we think something is bad—whether it’s truly bad or not—we will likely feel bad inside. By consciously modifying our thinking, we can perceive events more reasonably and feel better emotionally. More than 500 outcome studies since the 1970s have demonstrated the efficacy of cognitive-behavioral therapy in dealing with a wide range of issues relating to mental well-being (as outlined in Clinical Psychological Review 26, pages 17–31, 2006).
Mindfulness is grounded in the practice of using our conscious awareness t