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85 pages

English

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Say goodbye to disappointment and lack of fulfilment!
YOUR LIFE can absolutely be how YOU want it to be!
Moment to Moment: A Guide to a Fuller and More Fulfilling Life is a truly effective self-help programme designed to help you on your journey towards a better existence.
This programme is based on the author''s expert knowledge of psychological theories and practices. It describes and explains the steps Dr O''Reilly herself took to overcome adversity to finally reach happiness and fulfilment.
Moment to Moment will show you how to:
- be true to yourself
- stay focused on being rather than having
- slow down and be present
- resist judgement
- embrace change
- make your own rules
and much more!
Read it, follow the advice offered and start living life to the full.

Informations

Publié par	Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd
Date de parution	28 août 2020
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781528990042
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	2 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0175€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Moment to Moment: A Guide to a Fuller and More Fulfilling Life
Dr Anna O’Reilly
Austin Macauley Publishers
2020-08-28
Moment to Moment: A Guide to a Fuller and More Fulfilling Life Moment to Moment: A Guide to a Fuller and More Fulfilling Life Dedication Copyright Information © Acknowledgment Chapter 1 Take Off Your Masks Chapter 2 Be Kind to Yourself Learn from children and young adults Make appointments with yourself Consider your feelings Remember that life is not a test Ask for help Look after your body Avoid stress Love yourself Chapter 3 Being Versus Having Step one Step two Step three Step four Step five Chapter 4 The Magic of Letting Go Clutter in your home Mental clutter Chapter 5 Stop, You Are Not a Bee Chapter 6 Live in the Moment Chapter 7 Resist Judgement Self-judgement Judging others Chapter 8 Embrace Change Chapter 9 Let Go of Your Fears Chapter 10 What If Avoidance of new experiences Limited social life Habitual behaviours Unnecessary clutter Chapter 11 Make Your Own Rules Chapter 12 Who Said So? Chapter 13 This Is Your Life Chapter 14 Life Is Better Than a Fairy-tale Chapter 15 Ask and You Will Receive Chapter 16 Mistakes Are Actually Good for You Chapter 17 The Melody of Words Chapter 18 Listen and You May Actually Learn Something Chapter 19 Walk Tall Head nodding Eye gazing Crossed arms Hands Legs Chapter 20 Dress for Success Wearing red Wearing orange Wearing pink Wearing yellow Wearing blue Wearing green Wearing purple Wearing white Wearing brown Wearing black Wearing grey Chapter 21 It Is Just a Number
About the Author
Dr Anna O’Reilly was born in Warsaw, Poland in 1970 and moved to England to continue her education when she was 25 years old. She is a doctor of psychology, specialising in the workings of the human brain. After acquiring a comprehensive scientific knowledge about the functioning of the mind, she has more recently dedicated her skills and understanding to develop successful methods to help improve people’s lives. Dr O’Reilly’s firm belief is that knowledge exists to be shared, and only becomes truly useful when its power is focused on helping others in society.
Dedication
I dedicate this book to my beautiful and clever daughter, Annabel, who is a ray of sunshine that brightens up my each and every day. Annabel, thank you for being you. I love you with all my heart.
Copyright Information ©
Dr Anna O’Reilly (2020)
The right of Dr Anna O’Reilly to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
This book is for general information purposes and nothing contained in it is, or is intended to be construed as advice. It does not take into account your individual health, medical, physical or emotional situation or needs. It is not a substitute for medical attention, treatment, examination, advice, treatment of existing conditions or diagnosis and is not intended to provide a clinical diagnosis nor take the place of proper medical advice from a fully qualified medical practitioner.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781528990028 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781528990035 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781528990042 (ePub e-book)
ISBN 9781398418226 (Audiobook)
www.austinmacauley.com
First Published (2020)
Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LQ
Acknowledgment
Firstly, I would like to express my utmost appreciation to everyone who has contributed to the production of this book. It is one thing to put your words into a computer, but it is entirely another to turn those words into a printed book. A huge thank you to all involved. I would also like to thank my beautiful daughter, Annabel, and my ex-husband, William, for their ongoing support and encouragement. Finally, and most importantly, I would like to thank you, my kind reader, for giving your time to read this book. It is my sincere hope that you will allow at least some of my advice to influence you as you move forward with your life. A psychologist’s purpose is to help people. It would be my absolute privilege to be able to help you on your own particular journey towards a better place and a wonderful future. GOOD LUCK AND BLESS YOU!
Chapter 1

Take Off Your Masks
"All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits, and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts."
William Shakespeare
These words by William Shakespeare are as true today as they were the day they were written. As babies and very young children, we are unafraid to show people our true selves. We cry when we feel like crying, smile when we want to and demand attention from those around us when we please. Before long however, we grow up and slowly but surely begin to play the roles we are expected to play. As our circumstances change, the number of roles that we play increases again. We may be playing the role of a son/daughter, sibling, partner, parent, employer/employee and so on. At some point, we become so accustomed to these roles that navigating between them becomes automatic. Sooner or later, we forget who we really are, and thus, lose a sense of ‘self’. As an actor assigned to play a specific role, we get into character, so to speak, and start to believe that this is who we really are.
In psychology, this phenomenon is referred to as adopting a social role. These social roles are governed by the value that a given culture assigns to them. In England for example, top footballers are treated like celebrities and their skills are handsomely rewarded. The same is not so true in the USA where football (or soccer as they call it) is less popular and where stars from sports such as baseball, basketball and American football tend to be the celebrities. Social roles are also governed by genetic predispositions. A man cannot be a birth mother, neither can a weak and fragile person become a successful athlete. In addition, some roles may change over time. Not long ago, a married woman was expected to stay at home and take care of her children. It is now generally accepted that if she would rather, a woman can go out to work.
Further, it is quite frightening how rapidly we can become accustomed to a given role to a point where we blindly follow its rules. In a very famous but rather disturbing 1971 Stanford University ‘prison’ study, psychologist Phillip Zimbardo randomly divided his student participants into one of two groups, namely ‘guards’ or ‘prisoners’. Prior to the experiment, none of the students had shown any signs of physical or mental impairment. Those students were then asked to play those roles whilst living in a mock prison that was located in one of the basements at Stanford University. Although the experiment was designed to last for two weeks, it had to be stopped after only six days because of the traumatic effect it had on the participants. Many of the prisoners became depressed and their behaviour became passive whereas the guards began to turn into cruel and sadistic monsters. Those results showed that even though these intelligent individuals knew that they were taking part in an experiment, the tendency to adhere to their roles overtook logic. This in itself is a rather scary thought.
What is more, each social role requires us to act in a way that is appropriate for that role, and therefore comes with a mask that we wear whilst playing it. When we speak to a small child for example, we may smile warmly, lower our voice and even adopt baby talk. In contrast, at work we may wear a mask of competence; we walk tall and with confidence whilst using complicated words to impress others. Yet, somewhere behind all these masks is your real face, a face that more likely than not, you would not recognise when you saw it.
On the brink of madness, Shakespeare’s King Lear shouted out, “…who can tell me who I am…?”
Do not worry! I am not suggesting that playing our social roles will one day lead to madness. However, I used this quote here, because, to me, it carries two very important messages. Firstly, we want others to tell us who we really are. An impossible task even if people think they know us well. This is because what they really know about us in fact is who we are when playing the roles in which we interact with them. So, feedback obtained from your child will differ greatly from that provided by your co-worker and/or your partner. You can see then that unless you are suffering from multiple-personality disorder you cannot be all of these things at once. The second message is equally important. It tells us that we have a deep need to know who we really are, and thus be at one with the ‘self’.
You may argue, and feel truly justified in doing so, that you do not want to know who you really are because your hands are already full with all the masks you have, and therefore knowing yourself might only complicate things further. If so, I respect that. After all, you are entitled to your own opinion. But, let me see if I can change your mind here. If not, no harm done. At least you will know what you don’t need to know. It may even come of use to you one day.
So here it comes. Knowing yourself is essential for three main reasons. Firstly, if you are in touch with your essence (i.e., the self) you will fully appreciate all the good things in your life. How can you know what makes you happy and matters to you if you do not even know who you really are? Without knowing who you really are, you may well then look for guidance elsewh