Assertiveness , livre ebook

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Publié par	New Harbinger Publications
Date de parution	01 janvier 0001
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781608828241
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0100€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Praise for The Relxation and Stress Reduction Workbook:
“This comprehensive workbook deserves to be in the library of every active therapist, but it shouldn’t be left on the shelf! Once again, the authors have empowered the reader with straightforward instructions on every major approach to stress management known. From worry to chronic headaches to information overload, here is your one-stop guide to recovery.”
—R. Reid Wilson, Ph.D., author of Don’t Panic: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks
“This text remains, after twenty years, the clearest, best-organized, and most readable book on stress management. It has achieved the status of the ‘classic’ self-help reference in the field.”
—Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D., author of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, Coping with Anxiety, and Beyond Anxiety and Phobia
“An exemplary book on stress. It is lucidly written, rationally ordered, and comprehensive, and each section is densely packed with instructions and exercises which make the workbook easy to practice.”
— Somatics Magazine: Journal of the Mind/Body Arts and Sciences
Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

The material in chapter 13 that is based upon the work of Michelle G. Craske and David H. Barlow’s Master Your Anxiety and Worry , 2nd ed. (2006) pages 99–109 is used by permission of Oxford University Press.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2008 by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Matthew McKay
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
All Rights Reserved
ePub ISBN: 9781608820702
Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Cover design by Amy Shoup;
Edited by Kayla Sussell
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as:
Davis, Martha, 1947-
The relaxation and stress reduction workbook / Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Matthew McKay. -- 6th ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-1-57224-549-5 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 1-57224-549-2 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Stress management. 2. Relaxation. I. Eshelman, Elizabeth Robbins. II. McKay, Matthew. III. Title.
RA785.D374 2008
616.9’8--dc22
2008003637

Assertiveness
In this chapter you will learn to: Evaluate your current patterns of communication Differentiate between aggressive, passive, and assertive styles of communication Examine mistaken traditional assumptions and your assertive rights Express your feelings and opinions, set limits, and initiate change Use nonverbal assertive communication Listen assertively Avoid manipulation
Background
Andrew Salter (1949) initially described assertiveness as a personality trait. It was thought that some people had it, and some people didn’t, just like extroversion or stinginess. But Wolpe (1958) and Lazarus (1966) redefined assertiveness as “expressing personal rights and feelings.” They found that nearly everybody could be assertive in some situations, and yet be totally ineffectual in others. The goal of assertiveness training is to increase the number and variety of situations in which assertive behavior is possible, and decrease occasions of passive collapse or hostile blowup.
You are assertive when you stand up for your rights in such a way that the rights of others are not violated. Beyond just demanding your rights, assertiveness implies that you can: express your personal likes and interests spontaneously; talk about yourself without being self-conscious; accept compliments comfortably; disagree with someone openly; ask for clarification; and you can say no. In short, when you are an assertive person, you can be more relaxed in interpersonal situations.
Some people think that assertiveness training turns nice people into irascible complainers or calculating manipulators. Not so. It’s your right to protect yourself when something seems unfair. You are the one who best understands your discomfort levels and your essential needs.
How you interact with people can be a source of major stress. Assertiveness training can reduce that stress by teaching you to stand up for your legitimate rights, without bullying others or allowing them to bully you. You can use assertive communication to reduce conflict and build strong, supportive relationships.
Before reading any further, write down how you would typically respond to the following problem situations: You finish shopping in the market, and after you walk out you discover that the change is three dollars short.
I would:
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________ You order a rare steak and it arrives medium-well done.
I would:
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________ You’re giving a friend a lift to a meeting. The friend keeps puttering around for half an hour and you realize that you will arrive late for the meeting.
I would:
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________ You’ve been looking forward all week to seeing a particular movie, and your companion informs you that he or she wants to see a different movie.

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