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129 pages

English

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A FINANCIAL TIMES BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR 2022: BUSINESSA DAILY UK NEWS BEST BOOK OF 2022: BUSINESSEverybody has regrets. They're a fundamental part of our lives. In The Power of Regret, Pink explains how we can enlist our regrets to make smarter decisions, perform better and deepen our sense of meaning and purpose. Drawing on the largest sampling of attitudes about regret ever conducted from his own World Regret Survey, Pink identifies the four core regrets that most people have. With his signature blend of big ideas and practical takeaways, captivating stories and crisp humour, he argues that by understanding what people regret the most, we can understand what they value the most. We can transform our regrets into a positive force for working smarter and living better.

Sujets

Gestion et management

Self-help

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Publié par	Canongate Books
Date de parution	03 février 2022
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781838857042
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	11 Mo

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Extrait

Daniel H. Pink is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Drive , To Sell is Human and When . His books have sold millions of copies, have been translated into forty-two languages and have won multiple awards. Pink and his family live in Washington, D.C. @DanielPink | danpink.com
Also by Daniel H. Pink
Free Agent Nation
A Whole New Mind
The Adventures of Johnny Bunko
Drive
To Sell Is Human
When

The paperback published in 2023 by Canongate Books First published in Great Britain in 2022
by Canongate Books, 14 High Street, Edinburgh, EH1 1TE
canongate.co.uk
This digital edition first published in 2021 by Canongate Books
Copyright © Daniel H. Pink, 2022
The right of Daniel H. Pink to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders and obtain their permission for the use of copyright material. The publisher apologises for any errors or omissions and would be grateful if notified of any corrections that should be incorporated in future reprints or editions of this book.
Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint the following: page 61, tweet copyright © 2020 by Ely Kreimendahl. Used with permission.
First published in the USA in 2022 by Riverhead Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available on request from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 83885 706 6 eISBN 978 1 83885 704 2
Book design by Amanda Dewey
CONTENTS
Part One. REGRET RECLAIMED
1. The Life-Thwarting Nonsense of No Regrets
“Regret is not dangerous or abnormal, a deviation from the steady path to happiness. It is healthy and universal, an integral part of being human. Regret is also valuable. It clarifies. It instructs. Done right, it needn’t drag us down; it can lift us up.”
2. Why Regret Makes Us Human
“In other words, the inability to feel regret-in some sense, the apotheosis of what the ‘no regrets’ philosophy encourages-wasn ’t an advantage. It was a sign of brain damage.”
3. At Leasts and If Only s
“Two decades of research on counterfactual thinking exposes an oddity: thoughts about the past that make us feel better are relatively rare, while thoughts that make us feel worse are exceedingly common. Are we all self-sabotaging masochists?”
4. Why Regret Makes Us Better
“Don’t dodge emotions. Don’t wallow in them either. Confront them. Use them as a catalyst for future behavior. If thinking is for doing, feeling can help us think.”
Part Two. REGRET REVEALED
5. Regret on the Surface
“Human life spreads across multiple domains-we ’re parents, sons, daughters, spouses, partners, employees, bosses, students, spenders, investors, citizens, friends, and more. Why wouldn’t regret straddle domains, too?”
6. The Four Core Regrets
“What’s visible and easy to describe-the realms of life such as family, education, and work-is far less significant than a hidden architecture of human motivation and aspiration that lies beneath it.”
7. Foundation Regrets
“Foundation regrets begin with an irresistible lure and end with an inexorable logic.”
8. Boldness Regrets
“At the heart of all boldness regrets is the thwarted possibility of growth. The failure to become the person-happier , braver, more evolved-one could have been. The failure to accomplish a few important goals within the limited span of a single life.”
9. Moral Regrets
“Deceit. Infidelity. Theft. Betrayal. Sacrilege. Sometimes the moral regrets people submitted to the surveys read like the production notes for a Ten Commandments training video.”
10. Connection Regrets
“What gives our lives significance and satisfaction are meaningful relationships. But when those relationships come apart, whether by intent or inattention, what stands in the way of bringing them back together are feelings of awkwardness. We fear that we’ll botch our efforts to reconnect, that we’ll make our intended recipients even more uncomfortable. Yet these concerns are almost always misplaced.”
11. Opportunity and Obligation
“The four core regrets operate as a photographic negative of the good life. If we know what people regret the most, we can reverse that image to reveal what they value the most.”
Part Three. REGRET REMADE
12. Undoing and At Leasting
“But with regrets of action, I still have the chance to recalibrate the present-to press Ctrl+Z on my existential keyboard.”
13. Disclosure, Compassion, and Distance
“Following a straightforward three-step process, we can disclose the regret, reframe the way we view it and ourselves, and extract a lesson from the experience to remake our subsequent decisions.”
14. Anticipating Regret
“As a universal drug, anticipated regret has a few dangerous side effects.”

Coda. Regret and Redemption
Acknowledgments
Notes
Index
“Though we would like to live without regrets, and sometimes proudly insist that we have none, this is not really possible, if only because we are mortal.”
James Baldwin, 1967
Part One
REGRET RECLAIMED
//
1.
The Life-Thwarting Nonsense of No Regrets
O n October 24, 1960, a composer named Charles Dumont arrived at the posh Paris apartment of Edith Piaf with fear in his heart and songs in his briefcase. At the time, Piaf was perhaps the most famous entertainer in France and one of the best-known singers in the world. She was also quite frail. Although she was just forty-four years old, addiction, accidents, and hard living had ravaged her body. She weighed less than a hundred pounds. Three months earlier Piaf had been in a coma because of liver damage.
Yet despite her wispy presence, she remained notoriously mercurial and hot-tempered. She considered Dumont and his professional partner, lyricist Michel Vaucaire, who had joined him on the visit, second-rate musical talents. Earlier in the day, her secretary had left messages trying to cancel the meeting. Piaf initially refused to see the men, forcing them to wait uneasily in her living room. But just before she went to bed, she appeared, swaddled in a blue dressing gown, and relented.
She’d hear one song, she told them. That’s it.
Dumont sat down at Piaf’s piano. Sweaty and nervous, he began playing his music while softly speaking the lyrics Vaucaire had written. 1

Non, rien de rien.
Non, je ne regrette rien.
No, nothing at all.
No, I regret nothing at all.
She asked Dumont to play the song again, wondering aloud whether he’d really written it. She assembled a few friends who happened to be visiting to hear it. Then she gathered her household staff for a listen.
Hours passed. Dumont played the song over and over, more than twenty times, according to one account. Piaf telephoned the director of L’Olympia, the premier Parisian concert venue, who arrived just before dawn to hear the work.

Non, rien de rien.
Non, je ne regrette rien.
C’est payé, balayé, oublié.
Je me fous du passé.
No, nothing at all.
No, I regret nothing at all.
It’s paid, swept away, forgotten.
I couldn’t care less about the past.
A few weeks later, Piaf sang the two-minute, nineteen-second song on French television. In December, when she performed it as the rousing final number of a concert that helped rescue L’Olympia from financial ruin, she received twenty-two curtain calls. By the end of the following year, fans had purchased more than one million copies of her “Je ne regrette rien” record, elevating her status from chanteuse to icon.
Three years later, Piaf was dead.
O ne cold Sunday morning in February of 2016, Amber Chase awoke in her apartment in the western Canadian city of Calgary. Her then-boyfriend (and now-husband) was out of town, so the previous evening she had gone out with some girlfriends, a few of whom had slept over. The friends were talking and drinking mimosas when Chase, propelled by some combination of inspiration and boredom, said, “Let’s go get tattooed today!” So, they climbed into the car and rolled to Jokers Tattoo & Body Piercing on Highway 1, where the resident artist inked two words on Chase’s skin.
The tattoo Chase got that day was nearly identical to the one Mirella Battista decided on five years earlier and 2,400 miles away. Battista grew up in Brazil, and moved to Philadelphia in her early twenties to attend college. She relished her adopted city. While in school, she landed a job at a local accounting firm. She made lots of friends. She even forged a long-term romantic relationship with a Philly guy. The two seemed headed for marriage when, five years into the relationship, she and the boyfriend broke up. So, nine years after arriving in America, and looking for what she called a “reset button,” she moved back to Brazil. However, weeks before returning, she had two words tattooed just behind her right ear.
Unbeknownst to Battista, her brother, Germanno Teles, had gotten a nearly identical tattoo the previous year. Teles became enamored of motorcycles as a boy, an affection his safety-conscious physician parents neither shared nor supported. But he learned everything he could about motorcycles, saved his centavos , and eventually purchased a Suzuki. He loved it. Then one afternoon while riding on the highway near his Brazilian hometown of Fortaleza, he was hit from the side by another vehicle, injuring his left leg and limiting his future riding days. A short time later, he had the image of a motorcycle tattooed just below the knee of his injured leg. Beside it were two words in script arching alongside the path of his scar.
The tattoo Teles got that day was nearly identical to the one Bruno Santos would get in Lisbon, Portugal, in 2013. Santos is a human resources executive who doesn’t know Chase, Battista, or Teles. Frustrated at his job, he walked out of the office one afternoon and headed directly to a tattoo parlor. He emerged with a three-sylla