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Random House Publishers India Pvt. Ltd. - Suhel Seth

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81 pages

English

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When it comes to getting ahead in life, who we know is as important as what we do. How do you draw people to you? Impress the powerful? Make an impact and extend your circle of acquaintances? Cultivate influential friends? Suhel Seth, a man who knows almost everyone there is to know in the country, brings you the ultimate guide to social success. From the secret to throwing a successful party to the benefits of befriending the less important half of a couple, he gives you practical advice and strategies to become a successful networker. Inspiring, provocative, and wise, Get to the Top is the ultimate book about wielding soft power.

Sujets

Employabilité, métiers et formations

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Publié par	Random House Publishers India Pvt. Ltd.
Date de parution	01 octobre 2011
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9788184002423
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0480€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

RANDOM HOUSE INDIA
Published by Random House India in 2011
1
Copyright Suhel Seth 2011
Random House Publishers India Private Limited
Windsor IT Park, 7th Floor, Tower-B,
A-1, Sector-125, Noida-201301, U.P.
Random House Group Limited
20 Vauxhall Bridge Road
London SW1V 2SA
United Kingdom
This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author s and publisher s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
EPUB ISBN 9788184002423
Dedicated to
Shub and Jogendra Seth, my wonderful parents
For bringing me into this world and then tolerating me
CONTENTS
PART ONE
HOW TO DRAW PEOPLE TO YOU
1. The self-development rule
2. The impact rule
PART TWO
HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS
3. The popularity rule
4. The trust rule
5. The conversation rule
6. The networking rule
7. The work rule
PART THREE
HOW TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS
8. The consolidation rule
9. The RSVP rule
PART FOUR
IN CONCLUSION
10. The summing up rule
APPENDIX
i. How to be a good host
ii. How to be a good guest
iii. The worst social crimes you can commit
iv. Question time
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
PART ONE
HOW TO DRAW PEOPLE TO YOU
Friendships happen when people are drawn to each other. How do you make yourself a more attractive person to others? You have got to have the ability to make people laugh, make them remember you, and yes, you must entertain them. And you can only do so with a blend of knowledge and humour.
I have two simple rules about this.
RULE 1
The self-development rule
(be interested and interesting)
WHAT THIS RULE WILL TEACH YOU
Enrich your mind
Understand the difference between being intelligent and being interesting-and why the latter will ultimately get you further
Appreciate the importance of being multidimensional
Okay, here s the deal. You can t be socially successful if you re not interested in things-not unless you re as gorgeous as Bollywood beauty Aishwarya Rai or as wealthy as entrepreneur Analjit Singh, in which case your money and good looks can do an Open sesame! into the world of social success for you. For the rest of us ordinary mortals, being uni-dimensional is an issue. Frankly, it can often be an issue even if you are beautiful and rich.
The self-development rule is number one because it is the most important. Be interested in everything , or in as many things as you can manage. And the easiest way to learn interesting things is by reading as widely as you can. In the last six months, I have read everything I could get my hands on, from Marie Claire s cover story on Deepika Padukone to whether the Middle East can build stable democracies in the Economist . In my library at home, you ll find F. Scott Fitzgerald s great classic, The Great Gatsby , Tina Brown s gossipy account of Princess Diana, The Diana Chronicles , and Ramachandra Guha s masterly history of modern India, India After Gandhi . As a result, I can banter about Deepika s new hairstyle with my client s daughters and argue about world politics at a think tank dinner. Trust me when I say both hold me in good stead.
The reason I read is because it helps me talk. Simple. The more I know, the more I can engage people in conversation. In fact, a lot of what I do involves talking. I speak at conferences, I talk to CEOs, make presentations, and address management teams and students alike. For most of you too, talking is likely to be a key part of your work and play. You may not do much public speaking but you ll find that the more widely you read, the easier it is to hold conversations, even at a casual, intimate level. Talking helps create a brand value for oneself. I am able to articulate things that would otherwise escape others. I am also able to deliver one-liners in a manner that they will be remembered. My involvement with college theatre and debating as a young man has helped me a great deal in being able to express my thoughts and opinions but it s reading that has given me the substance.
I have always said that public speaking as an art form can take you places, and it almost always does. President Barack Obama is not as famous today for his health care reforms, as he is for his speeches.
To this day, the bestselling book at the venerable bookstore Hatchards, in London, is a collection of the speeches of Britain s former Prime Minister, Winston Churchill. Here at home, Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru s tryst with destiny speech still brings tears to people s eyes. These men used speaking to connect emotionally and intellectually with people and communicate something of themselves.
Remember, whether it s you, me, Gandhi or Obama, ultimately, we are all brands. Human brands perhaps, but brands nonetheless. This means that each of us has qualities (and disadvantages) that are uniquely ours. That s what people buy into most of the time. You don t get invited out because the person extending the invitation liked your clothes. They may have eyes for your money but that appeal wears off after a time. After all, when was the last time you wanted to sit down for dinner with the freshly minted paan masala owner? Or for that matter the shady electronics trader or your local bootlegger? It s not the absence of wealth that makes them unappealing but the fact that they don t make much of an impression in most circles. You make an impression when you ve created a brand for yourself and the best way to create this brand is with words.
Knowledge is the social fodder that feeds today s information-driven world. You have to read and you have to be able to talk. That s why you need to make books your best friends. They will help you get very far and they re the only friends that will last both social and economic downturns. You may decide to drop an industrialist from your friends circle or simply forget him because he s suddenly become poor or irrelevant but authors and poets will always be welcome. Knowledge is recession-proof and has universal appeal. Women are as impressed by a well-read individual as men are. A little-acknowledged fact is that ultimately, women love men with brains. This is why Marilyn Monroe married Arthur Miller, the playwright and not some Sports Illustrated model with ugly biceps or some millionaire.
The man who taught me this simple (yet profound) truth was my first boss Ram Ray.
Ram, for those of you who don t know, is a legend in Indian advertising. He is the founder and CEO of the ad agency Response, and before that, he had an illustrious career with J. Walter Thompson, one of the biggest advertising agencies in the world. When I joined Response in 1986, it was known for its seminal campaigns for brands like Jenson and Nicholson (although it wasn t responsible for creating that great tagline, Whenever you think of colour, think of us . That was by Arun Nehru, the paint company s former CEO) and Boroline. Boroline became the quintessential Bengali ad. It essentially said that in every Bengali s life, there had to be a chakar (servant), kukur (pet), pukur (pond), and Boroline. Response was also the agency that launched the soap Aramusk. We were the first agency to brand a soap not on cleanliness, but on sex appeal. Lust versus lather.
As for Ram, well, he seemed to us to be more like a rotund professor at a suburban college in midwest America than an advertising agency boss in central Kolkata. He is a portly, bespectacled man with a bearing that may remind you of waddling ducks. He is also a man with many passions. He loves Kolkata, literature, cinema, photography, typography, art, crafts, food and the Internet. He was probably the second person to get himself an Apple computer after Steve Jobs. He s also someone who won t have his Bloody Mary without a celery stick in it and will make sure the glass is properly rimmed with salt. Now of course in Delhi, they use Swarovski sticks.
Ram was both generous and patient with his employees. He had a library that he was proud of and was equally happy to let all of us who worked for him dip into it. I was a mere management trainee and Ram needn t have been that indulgent. But then, Ram knew we were the soldiers who were facing client ranks. If we looked smart, so did Response. I remember many a time I would pick up a book that had nothing to do with marketing but would instead be about the history of fonts. Yes, fonts that you use for writing. I could then have a conversation with my art director on his subject rather than mine. In the process, my work would get done before anyone else s, in addition to me having gained some unexpected knowledge, which, again, never kills you!
Ram didn t just encourage us to read widely, but also, like him, to have as many interests as possible. Response sponsored my play Bhutto and designed its brochure because he approved of my being passionate about theatre, for example. As a result, the greatest lessons Ram taught me were all outside of work. During the day, we worked as advertising executives, slogging over briefs and taglines, but post-sunset, Ram would conjure a different world for all of us. From discussing typography to waxing forth on Ayn Rand, he would create an adda like I had never seen before. We were dazzled. This is what my colleagues and I looked forward to. There was nothing more stimulating than ending a day with the guarantee that you d learn even more tomorrow. This has always been my mantra since. You will never know enough. Don t be insecure about this. Rather, be secure in the belief that you will learn more and be prepared to learn all the time. The mind must be an ever-absorbing sponge .
I remember h