The Etiquette Book for Ladies , livre ebook

Interactive Media - FLORENCE HARTLEY

Découvre YouScribe en t'inscrivant gratuitement

Je m'inscris

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

152 pages

English

Vous pourrez modifier la taille du texte de cet ouvrage

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

A propos
Informations
Extrait

Description

Etiquette exists in some form in all countries, has existed and will exist in all ages. This book offers a complete guide and insight into norms of polite society. It is a practical reference book including everyday situations and numerous tips and recipes for the complexion creams, pastes, home remedies and various household chores. Useful knitting guides also included in this practical guide for a successful woman of polite society.

Sujets

Employabilité, métiers et formations

Informations

Publié par	Interactive Media
Date de parution	15 décembre 2013
Nombre de lectures	4
EAN13	9781910150092
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0005€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Florence Hartley
The Etiquette Book
for Ladies
New Edition

THE BIG NEST
LONDON ∙ NEW YORK ∙ TORONTO ∙ SAO PAULO ∙ MOSCOW
PARIS ∙ MADRID ∙ BERLIN ∙ ROME ∙ MEXICO CITY ∙ MUMBAI ∙ SEOUL ∙ DOHA
TOKYO ∙ SYDNEY ∙ CAPE TOWN ∙ AUCKLAND ∙ BEIJING
New Edition
Published by The Big Nest
An imprint of Max Bollinger
27 Old Gloucester St,
London WC1N 3AX
sales@thebignest.co.uk
www.thebignest.co.uk
This Edition
First published in 2013
Author: Florence Hartley
Editor: Max Bollinger
Copyright © 2013 The Big Nest
Cover design and artwork © 2013 Urban-Pic.co.uk
All Rights Reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
The greatest care has been taken in compiling this book. However, no responsibility can be accepted by the publishers or compilers for the accuracy of the information presented.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Library of Congress Cataloguing in Publication Data.
A catalogue record for this book has been requested.
ISBN: 9781910150085 (pbk)
ISBN: 9781910150092 (ebk)
Contents
INTRODUCTION.
CHAPTER I. CONVERSATION.
CHAPTER II. DRESS.
CHAPTER III. TRAVELING.
CHAPTER IV. HOW TO BEHAVE AT A HOTEL.
CHAPTER V. EVENING PARTIES.
CHAPTER VI. EVENING PARTIES.
CHAPTER VII. VISITING.
CHAPTER VIII. VISITING.
CHAPTER IX. MORNING RECEPTIONS OR CALLS.
CHAPTER X. MORNING RECEPTIONS OR CALLS.
CHAPTER XI. DINNER COMPANY.
CHAPTER XII. DINNER COMPANY.
CHAPTER XIII. TABLE ETIQUETTE.
CHAPTER XIV. CONDUCT IN THE STREET.
CHAPTER XV. LETTER WRITING.
CHAPTER XVI. POLITE DEPORTMENT, AND GOOD HABITS.
CHAPTER XVII. CONDUCT IN CHURCH.
CHAPTER XVIII. BALL ROOM ETIQUETTE.
CHAPTER XIX. BALL ROOM ETIQUETTE.
CHAPTER XX. PLACES OF AMUSEMENT.
CHAPTER XXI. ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
CHAPTER XXII. SERVANTS.
CHAPTER XXIII. ON A YOUNG LADY’S CONDUCT WHEN CONTEMPLATING MARRIAGE.
CHAPTER XXIV. BRIDAL ETIQUETTE.
CHAPTER XXV. HINTS ON HEALTH.
CHAPTER XXVI. MISCELLANEOUS.
IDEAS FOR LIFE
INTRODUCTION.
In preparing a book of etiquette for ladies, I would lay down as the first rule, “Do unto others as you would others should do to you.” You can never be rude if you bear the rule always in mind, for what lady likes to be treated rudely? True Christian politeness will always be the result of an unselfish regard for the feelings of others, and though you may err in the ceremonious points of etiquette, you will never be impolite.
Politeness, founded upon such a rule, becomes the expression, in graceful manner, of social virtues. The spirit of politeness consists in a certain attention to forms and ceremonies, which are meant both to please others and ourselves, and to make others pleased with us; a still clearer definition may be given by saying that politeness is goodness of heart put into daily practice; there can be no true politeness without kindness, purity, singleness of heart, and sensibility.
Many believe that politeness is but a mask worn in the world to conceal bad passions and impulses, and to make a show of possessing virtues not really existing in the heart; thus, that politeness is merely hypocrisy and dissimulation. Do not believe this; be certain that those who profess such a doctrine are practising themselves the deceit they condemn so much. Such people scout politeness, because, to be truly a lady, one must carry the principles into every circumstance of life, into the family circle, the most intimate friendship, and never forget to extend the gentle courtesies of life to every one. This they find too much trouble, and so deride the idea of being polite and call it deceitfulness.
True politeness is the language of a good heart, and those possessing that heart will never, under any circumstances, be rude. They may not enter a crowded saloon gracefully; they may be entirely ignorant of the forms of good society; they may be awkward at table, ungrammatical in speech; but they will never be heard speaking so as to wound the feelings of another; they will never be seen making others uncomfortable by seeking solely for their own personal convenience; they will always endeavor to set every one around them at ease; they will be self-sacrificing, friendly, unselfish; truly in word and deed, polite. Give to such a woman the knowledge of the forms and customs of society, teach her how best to show the gentle courtesies of life, and you have a lady, created by God, only indebted for the outward polish to the world.
It is true that society demands this same unselfishness and courtesy, but when there is no heart in the work, the time is frittered away on the mere ceremonies, forms of etiquette, and customs of society, and this politeness seeks only its own ends; to be known as courteous, spoken of as lady-like, and not beloved as unselfish and womanly.
Etiquette exists in some form in all countries, has existed and will exist in all ages. From the rudest savage who dares not approach his ignorant, barbarous ruler without certain forms and ceremonies, to the most polished courts in Europe, or the home circles of America, etiquette reigns.
True politeness will be found, its basis in the human heart, the same in all these varied scenes and situations, but the outward forms of etiquette will vary everywhere. Even in the same scene, time will alter every form, and render the exquisite polish of last year, obsolete rudeness next year.
Politeness, being based upon real kindness of heart, cannot exist where there is selfishness or brutality to warp its growth. It is founded upon love of the neighbor, and a desire to be beloved, and to show love. Thus, where such pure, noble feelings do not exist, the mere forms of politeness become hypocrisy and deceit.
Rudeness will repel, where courtesy would attract friends.
Never by word or action notice the defects of another; be charitable, for all need charity. Remember who said, “Let him that is without fault cast the first stone.” Remember that the laws of politeness require the consideration of the feelings of others; the endeavor to make every one feel at ease; and frank courtesy towards all. Never meet rudeness in others with rudeness upon your own part; even the most brutal and impolite will be more shamed by being met with courtesy and kindness, than by any attempt to annoy them by insolence on your part.
Politeness forbids any display of resentment. The polished surface throws back the arrow.
Remember that a favor becomes doubly valuable if granted with courtesy, and that the pain of a refusal may be softened if the manner expresses polite regret.
Kindness, even to the most humble, will never lose anything by being offered in a gentle, courteous manner, and the most common-place action will admit of grace and ease in its execution.
Let every action, while it is finished in strict accordance with etiquette, be, at the same time, easy, as if dictated solely by the heart.
To be truly polite, remember you must be polite at all times, and under all circumstances.
CHAPTER I. CONVERSATION.
T he art of conversation consists in the exercise of two fine qualities. You must originate, and you must sympathize; you must possess at the same time the habit of communicating and of listening attentively. The union is rare but irresistible. None but an excessively ill-bred person will allow her attention to wander from the person with whom she is conversing; and especially she will never, while seeming to be entirely attentive to her companion, answer a remark or question made to another person, in another group. Unless the conversation be general among a party of friends, confine your remarks and attention entirely to the person with whom you are conversing. Steele says, “I would establish but one great general rule in conversation, which is this-that people should not talk to please themselves, but those who hear them. This would make them consider whether what they speak be worth hearing; whether there be either wit or sense in what they are about to say; and whether it be adapted to the time when, the place where, and the person to whom, it is spoken.”
Be careful in conversation to avoid topics which may be supposed to have any direct reference to events or circumstances which may be painful for your companion to hear discussed; you may unintentionally start a subject which annoys or troubles the friend with whom you may be conversing; in that case, do not stop abruptly, when you perceive that it causes pain, and, above all, do not make the matter worse by apologizing; turn to another subject as soon as possible, and pay no attention to the agitation your unfortunate remark may have excited. Many persons will, for the sake of appearing witty or smart, wound the feelings of another deeply; avoid this; it is not only ill-bred, but cruel.
Remember that having all the talk sustained by one person is not conversation; do not engross all the attention yourself, by refusing to allow another person an opportunity to speak, and also avoid the other extreme of total silence, or answering only in monosyllables.
If your companion relates an incident or tells a story, be very careful not to interrupt her by questions, even if you do not clearly understand her; wait until she has finished her relation, and then ask any questions you may desire. There is nothing more annoying than to be so interrupted. I have heard a story told to an impertinent listener, which ran in this way:-
“I saw a fearful sight--”
“When?”
“I was about to tell you; last Monday, on the train--”
“What train?”
“The train f