Zany and Brainy Good Clean Jokes for Kids , livre ebook

Harvest House Publishers, Inc. - Bob Phillips

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50 pages

English

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All-around funny man and bestselling author Bob Phillips is at it again with another crazy collection of zany fun that will leave youngsters rolling on the floor. Zany and Brainy Good Clean Jokes for Kids follows in the fun footsteps of Bob's other popular kid-friendly joke books.Who wears a mask, smells good, and rides a horse? I don't have the foggiest.The Cologne Ranger.Sure to keep the hilarity coming, these good clean jokes will widen the smiles of readers of all ages.

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Publié par	Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Date de parution	01 octobre 2012
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9780736942959
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0230€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Cover illustration Leisure Time /Mister Retro
Cover design by Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota
ZANY AND BRAINY GOOD CLEAN JOKES FOR KIDS
Copyright 2005 by Bob Phillips
Published 2012 by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-3072-7 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4295-9 (eBook)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Contents
1. Crazy Questions
2. Theodore Thaddeus
3. Who s There?
4. Agnus Arnold
5. The Answer Man
6. Did You Hear?
7. Conroy Cora
8. Teachers
9. Buddy Burges
10. Friends
11. Lynette Leroy
12. Open the Door!
13. Elvira Elvis
14. Tongue Twisters
15. Questions Answers
16. Carina Carlos
17. What If?
18. Gwendolyn Godfrey
19. School
20. Fredia Fonzie
21. Where, Oh Where?
22. More Friends
More Fun Harvest House Books by Bob Phillips
Contact the Author
1
Crazy Questions
Q: How do you turn a beagle into a bird?
A: Remove the b .

Q: How do army frogs march?
A: Hop, two, three, four!

Q: How do eels get out of a muddy seabed?
A: With four-eel drive.

Q: How many hamburgers can you eat on a an empty stomach?
A: Only one, because after that your stomach is no longer empty.

Q: How does a hockey player kiss?
A: He puckers up.

Q: How was your trip to Helsinki?
A: Terrible! All our luggage vanished into Finnair!

Q: How did the inventor discover gunpowder?
A: It came to him in a flash.

Q: How does an artist break up with his girlfriend?
A: He gives her the brush-off.

Q: How can you stop a dog from barking in the backyard?
A: Let him go out front.

Q: How do you catch an electric eel?
A: With a lightning rod.

Q: How many paws does a bear have?
A: One pa and one ma.

Q: How do you fit six elephants in a motorboat?
A: Put three in the front seat and three in the backseat.

Q: How did Robinson Crusoe survive after his boat sank?
A: He used a bar of soap and washed himself ashore.

Q: How do you make a slow employee fast?
A: Don t give him anything to eat for a while.
2
Theodore Thaddeus
Theodore: What do joke-book writers eat for breakfast?
Thaddeus: Search me.
Theodore: Corny flakes.

Theodore: What is the best way to paint a rabbit?
Thaddeus: I m in the dark.
Theodore: With hare spray.

Theodore: What kind of clothes does a house wear?
Thaddeus: I don t have the foggiest.
Theodore: A coat of paint and address.

Theodore: What would happen if all the goofy people in Chicago jumped into Lake Michigan?
Thaddeus: I m blank.
Theodore: Lake Michigan would end up with a ring around it.

Theodore: What type of fish play poker?
Thaddeus: That s a mystery.
Theodore: Card sharks.

Theodore: What is a fish s favorite game?
Thaddeus: I have no idea.
Theodore: Salmon Says.

Theodore: What famous inventor loved practical jokes?
Thaddeus: I don t know.
Theodore: Benjamin Pranklin.

Theodore: What kind of geese are found in Portugal?
Thaddeus: I pass.
Theodore: Portu-geese.

Theodore: What do you take for motion sickness on a cruise?
Thaddeus: Beats me.
Theodore: Vitamin sea.

Theodore: What would you get if you blew your hair dryer down a rabbit hole?
Thaddeus: My mind is a blank.
Theodore: Hot, cross bunnies.

Theodore: What kind of vehicle does a hog drive?
Thaddeus: Who knows?
Theodore: A pig-up truck.

Theodore: What would you get if you crossed an eagle and a skunk?
Thaddeus: I give up.
Theodore: An animal with a high stink.

Theodore: What did the bus driver say to the fish?
Thaddeus: You tell me.
Theodore: What school do you go to?

Theodore: What will not speak unless it is spoken to and cannot be seen but only heard?
Thaddeus: I have no clue.
Theodore: An echo.

Theodore: What do you say when you want to stop a boat?
Thaddeus: I can t guess.
Theodore: Whoa, whoa, whoa the boat.

Theodore: What would you get if you crossed a kangaroo with a cow?
Thaddeus: I m in the dark.
Theodore: A kangamoo.

Theodore: What should you say if you are swimming in the ocean and happen to get entangled in kelp?
Thaddeus: I don t have the foggiest.
Theodore: KELP!

Theodore: What do you call someone who paints flowers?
Thaddeus: I m blank.
Theodore: A budding artist.
3
Who s There?
Knock, knock.
Who s there?
Watt.
Watt who?
Watt a bad joke.

Knock, knock.
Who s there?
Adolf.
Adolf who?
Adolf ball hit me in the mowf.

Knock, knock.
Who s there?
Ooze.
Ooze who?
Ooze the person in charge around here?

Knock, knock.
Who s there?
Viola.
Viola who?
Viola sudden you don t remember me?

Knock, knock.
Who s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda piece of pumpkin pie?

Knock, knock.
Who s there?
Dick.
Dick who?
Dick em up! I told you this was a holdup.

Knock, knock.
Who s there?
Thumping.
Thumping who?
Thumping green and slimy is crawling on your shoulder.

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