Who Am I Without You? , livre ebook

New Harbinger Publications - G. Hibbert Christina

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92 pages

English

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“As much as we might wish for an easier path to personal growth, the most effective ones often seem to be paved with heartache, despair, and fears that throw us unceremoniously to our knees. Each section of Hibbert’s excellent book Who Am I Without You? is filled with valuable information, unfailing compassion, and practical healing techniques that can help you move and grow through the brokenness of grief, disillusionment, and fear.” — Sue Patton Thoele , author of The Courage to Be Yourself and The Mindful Woman “ Who Am I Without You? is the light at the end of the tunnel! Christina Hibbert has written a compassionate guide for surviving a breakup with a sensitivity and exquisite insight that even in the heartbreak of relationship loss, there is an opportunity for psychological change and personal growth.” — Diana Lynn Barnes, PsyD , psychotherapist specializing in women’s mental health, coauthor of The Journey to Parenthood, and editor and contributing author of Women’s Reproductive Mental Health Across the Lifespan “With just the right blend of empathy for the reader’s pain and encouragement to move forward, Christina Hibbert has written an accessible, practical, and compassionate guidebook for reclaiming self-worth after a breakup. I’ve seen hundreds of women in my psychotherapy practice who feel unworthy of love, and whose self-esteem has taken a blow after a failed relationship—and I wish I’d had this book to recommend to them! Who Am I Without You?

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Assertiveness

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Publié par	New Harbinger Publications
Date de parution	01 février 2015
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781626251441
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0848€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

“As much as we might wish for an easier path to personal growth, the most effective ones often seem to be paved with heartache, despair, and fears that throw us unceremoniously to our knees. Each section of Hibbert’s excellent book Who Am I Without You? is filled with valuable information, unfailing compassion, and practical healing techniques that can help you move and grow through the brokenness of grief, disillusionment, and fear.”
— Sue Patton Thoele , author of The Courage to Be Yourself and The Mindful Woman
“ Who Am I Without You? is the light at the end of the tunnel! Christina Hibbert has written a compassionate guide for surviving a breakup with a sensitivity and exquisite insight that even in the heartbreak of relationship loss, there is an opportunity for psychological change and personal growth.”
— Diana Lynn Barnes, PsyD , psychotherapist specializing in women’s mental health, coauthor of The Journey to Parenthood, and editor and contributing author of Women’s Reproductive Mental Health Across the Lifespan
“With just the right blend of empathy for the reader’s pain and encouragement to move forward, Christina Hibbert has written an accessible, practical, and compassionate guidebook for reclaiming self-worth after a breakup. I’ve seen hundreds of women in my psychotherapy practice who feel unworthy of love, and whose self-esteem has taken a blow after a failed relationship—and I wish I’d had this book to recommend to them! Who Am I Without You? is a much-needed companion on the road to resolving emotional barriers, reclaiming your worth, and re-envisioning a life of love after loss.”
—Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW , psychotherapist, author of The Burnout Cure , and owner and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapy

Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2015 by Christina G. Hibbert
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Interior design by Michele Waters-Kermes
Acquired by Wendy Millstine
Edited by Marisa Solís
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
Contents
Foreword
Introduction
PART 1 Overcoming Brokenness
1 You’re not alone.
2 Set up your support system.
3 Help others help you.
4 Set healthy boundaries.
5 Put yourself on your list.
6 Accept what is.
7 Now let it out—FEEL.
8 Worry: It’s good for nothing.
9 Don’t let anger get the best of you.
10 Identify your losses.
11 Grieve.
12 “But how do I grieve?” You just do.
13 Tackle your broken thoughts.
14 What are you thinking?
15 Stop the broken record.
16 Change your mind.
17 Get a new view and a new you.
18 Face your fears.
19 You are more than your relationships.
20 Get your self-esteem back.
Part 2 Building Unwavering Self-Esteem
21 Lay a mindful foundation.
22 Ask yourself, “Who am I?”
23 Shift from “self-esteem” to “self-worth.”
24 Learn about the Pyramid of Self-Worth.
25 Rebuilding, step 1: Practice self-awareness.
26 Ask yourself, “How am I?”
27 See the not-so-good.
28 See the good.
29 Rebuilding, step 2: Practice self-acceptance.
30 Learn how to accept yourself.
31 Stop the blame game and own your “stuff.”
32 Rebuilding, step 3: Practice self-love.
33 Love your physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual sides.
34 Rebuilding, step 4: Build on self-worth to reach your fullest potential.
35 Believe in you.
36 Forgive.
37 Commit to being better than just “better.”
Part 3 Learning to Love and Be Loved Again
38 Flourish! Yes, I said, “Flourish!”
39 Live in the now.
40 Practice gratitude.
41 Discover meaning and purpose.
42 Live with vision.
43 Set a daily focus.
44 Choose to create the life you desire.
45 The “good” life isn’t necessarily the best life.
46 Develop your mission statement.
47 Learn to be an optimist!
48 Let yourself shine!
49 Live the Golden Rule.
50 Engage in healthy, loving relationships.
51 Let the light and love in.
52 It only gets better from here.
Acknowledgments
References
Foreword
When I was thirty years old, my first husband became obsessed with a woman in our social circle whom I thought of as a good friend. For months, I used denial to protect myself from facing the reality of their relationship. Eventually, of course, I had to face my fear and acknowledge the truth. The double betrayal of husband and friend was devastating. The thought of my two little boys being the children of divorce, and the idea of being a single parent, was guilt-inducing, terrifying, and incredibly saddening. I did everything I could to save the marriage—each attempt unsuccessful and many at the expense of my own well-being, including “reconciling” three times. Some, rightly, called those my “peace-at-any-price groveling times.” However, as the adage goes, “It takes two to make a marriage work;” and a couple of years after learning the truth, I found myself staggering through the wreckage of a failed marriage and the disintegration of life as I knew, and wanted, it.
Yes, the marriage was beyond repair. Worse yet, for a long time, I felt I was too.
If you are in a similar position right now—or have troubling residual feelings from a past breakup—please do yourself a huge favor and allow Who Am I Without You? to become your friend and guide. I truly believe the healing and growth that took me years and years to achieve would have taken much less time if I’d had access to the invaluable insights and tools offered in Who Am I Without You? Author and psychologist Christina Hibbert divides her book into three main sections: Overcoming, Becoming, and Flourishing. Each is filled with valuable information, unfailing compassion, and practical healing techniques to help you move through the brokenness of grief, disillusionment, and fear. The reader can feel Dr. Hibbert’s understanding radiating from the pages and, in the light of that perception and encouragement, is given the opportunity to make steady progress toward healing and wholeness.
As much as we might wish for an easier path to personal growth, the most effective ones often seem to be paved with heartache, despair, and fears that throw us unceremoniously to our knees. While some breakthroughs and enlightenments may come softly, quietly, and in bite-size pieces, mine are more often gleaned from the impetus of pain and loss. Such was the case with my divorce. Even though it took a long time, my story has a happy outcome. My career as a psychotherapist evolved from the pain and insights of that journey, and my first book, The Courage to Be Yourself , was inspired by the commitment to self-love and acceptance I uncovered while sifting through the shards of my pre- and postdivorce lack of self-worth. Best of all, this year, the love of my life and I will celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary.
Upon looking back on extremely painful experiences, people often comment, “It was really the best thing that ever happened to me.” I definitely can say that of my divorce. If you are going through the fire of a breakup now, I hope eventually you will feel the same way. With the help of Who Am I Without You? , I’m sure you will.
—Sue Patton Thoele
Author of The Courage to Be Yourself and The Mindful Woman , among others
Introduction
You’re most likely picking up this book because you’re going through a hard time—because a relationship has been broken, and now you feel broken, too. Maybe you’ve just ended a ten-year relationship. Maybe you’re experiencing your first heartache. Either way, you have come to the right place.
I know how it is to feel broken—your heart so heavy in your chest you fear you’ll never breathe freely again. I also know how it is to wake up one day to find that you’re not only put back together, you’re better than before. This book is a guide for women of all ages experiencing all levels of heartache. I’ve written it with the exact words and tools I’ve used to help my friends, family, and clients through their breakups, divorces, and other life transitions.
These pages also include the methods I have used in my times of brokenness. That’s what this book is about: helping you break through the pain of your breakup so that you may discover healing, and showing you the way to lifelong self-esteem and joy.
Why Focus on Self-Esteem?
This book isn’t like every other breakup book. It has a unique focus: self-esteem. Your self-esteem can be crushed after a breakup, but the good news is that it’s repairable.
“Self-esteem” means how we feel about ourselves—not only when things are right but when things are not right. It determines how we rise after we fall and how we put the pieces back together after we’ve been broken. Self- esteem —what we think, believe, and feel about ourselves—is based on self- worth, who we really are. We must understand who we truly are—to see the good, bad, ugly, and exceptional—and embrace it if we want to feel self-worth and experience unwavering self-esteem.
It is possible to discover your worth, even if it feels impossible now. It is possible for that discovery to lead to healthier relationships down the road. Your self-esteem will increase and you’ll enjoy all the benefits of living a life of confidence, hope, and, yes, love.
How This Book Is Set Up
Years ago, in my clinical psychology practice, I learned that if I only focused on helping clients overcome their struggles, I was doing them a disservice. We need to build on the positives just as much, or even more, than we need to rid ourselves of the negatives. That’s when I came up with my prof