Study in Sherbet , livre ebook

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22 pages

English

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In this humorous Sherlock Holmes spoof, our hero is once again joined by his friend and colleague, Dr. John H. Watson and together they set out to try and solve the mystery of the extraordinary sugar disappearances sweeping the United Kingdom. Sound boring? Well, yes it does actually, but things are not always what they seem and in this newly-discovered narrative discovered in a dispatch box from the vaults of Cox & Co., London, we find Holmes at his deductive best. Dr. Watson chips in every now and then and Mrs. Hudson displays her true colours. Along the way there are cameo appearances by Inspector Lestrade and Wiggins of the Irregulars and of course it would not be complete without Holmes' arch-nemesis, Professor James Moriarty showing up. A hardboiled, sugar-free detective tale of adventure and intrigue.

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Publié par	Andrews UK
Date de parution	25 juin 2018
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781785389320
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0100€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Title Page
A STUDY IN SHERBET
A Sherlock Holmes Parody
Stephen Marsh

Publisher Information
First published in 2018 by
AG Books
www.agbooks.co.uk
Digital edition converted and distributed by
Andrews UK Limited
www.andrewsuk.com
© Copyright 2018 Stephen Marsh
The right of Stephen Marsh to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1998.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. Any person who does so may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A Study in Sherbet
by
John H. Watson
A recently-discovered document taken from one of the thirty-five (and counting) dispatch boxes held in the vaults of Cox and Co., London

Part I
The evening was drawing in as my good friend of many years, Sherlock Holmes and myself finished our bread and butter puddings at the strangely-named Wyenotcome Inn on the lonely moors of Derbyshire. Neither of us were aware of the mysterious adventure which was awaiting our return back in London.
“This bread and butter pudding is strangely not as syrupy as per usual, Holmes,” I said, taking another large spoonful, but dropping most of it on my waistcoat where it joined the gravy and soup stains from earlier courses and breakfast egg from the previous morning.
“You are correct, Watson, I have also detected that there is a complete lack of sugar in this meal,” Holmes deduced. “Definitely not up to my expectations of the sweet trolley.”
“Well, never mind Holmes, now that you have solved the case of the missing ear, we can depart in the morning for London and our cosy little rooms in Baker Street and Mrs. Hudson’s splendid cooking.”
The Case of the Missing Ear was to become one of Holmes’ most notorious cases. He had been called in by the Derbyshire Constabulary to supervise the solving of one of the most mysterious episodes the local police had ever handled, a case which had them completely baffled. The story goes thus:
A local farmer, Arthur Slug, had reported the loss of one of his ears in a threshing machine accident and was claiming a huge insurance settlement of five hundred pounds. The case had gone on for several weeks and the investigating officer, Detective Sergeant Ivor Whistle had finally admitted that he was not getting anywhere; his instincts told him there was something illegal going off but he couldn’t quite pin it down. Holmes was called in to investigate and within just three days of studying the facts, he had the case solved.
When Holmes interrogated Slug, he noticed that the suspect wore spectacles balanced upon two fine-looking ears.
Holmes began the questioning with: “How is it Slug, that you are claiming for the loss of one of your ears in an accident, yet you walk in here, head held high displaying two distinctive ears?”
“That’s right,” Slug replied. “I used t’ave three of ‘em, an’ now one’s missin’.”
It took Holmes less than an hour to deduce the fraud and Slug was then arrested immediately. Detective Sergeant Whistle told Holmes that the suspect would probably receive the maximum sentence for ‘ear’ fraud in the area, which was to have one of his remaining ears removed.
So, there it was, the famous detective and myself were sitting with unamused looks on our faces trying to finish what was a very sour bread and butter pudding.
“This is intolerable Watson!” he said. “I cannot devour this unpleasant, so-called ‘sweet’!”
Holmes informed me that he was going to complain and shouted a woman over.
“How dare you serve us such tasteless rubbish as this? It is the worse pudding I have ever tasted. You should be taken outside, stripped naked, whipped, thrown into the river, dragged out again, kicked and spat upon and finally set fire to and then your ashes thrown down the deepest mine shaft for eternity. What have you to say for yourself?”
“I don’t work here,” said the nun and shuffled out of the door.
“Fetch me the chef!” Holmes shouted.
When the chef came and heard our complaints, he told us there was nothing he could do. There was a national sugar shortage and that someone was stealing all the sugar coming into England and the authorities had no idea who was behind it all.
Holmes looked quite abashed and then said “Quick Watson, pack our bags, there is to be no delay. We need to get to London and solve this mystery as soon as possible.”
I folded the collection of paper bags which Holmes always insisted that we bring with us (though why he had to bring these, I never found out) and after packing all the bags into our suitcases, we rushed out into the night to catch the midnight express. After several minutes, we casually sauntered in again when we realised that not only was it nowhere near midnight (it was 8.30 p.m.), there was no train station either. We had both forgotten that we had travelled up by horse and trap.

Part II
Although it was a lovely bright and sunny day outside, there was a typical pea-souper of a fog in our rooms at 221b Baker Street. Unfortunately, due to the exertions of the previous few days, I was late coming down for breakfast and Holmes had started without me.
“I deduce Watson, that you left your room in extreme hurry. You have seven whiskers unshaved on your left cheek, your tie is askew, you have odd gloves on and your boots are uncommonly creased across the toe-caps, indicating that you have been recently running downstairs... all that, plus the fact that your trousers are missing gives it away. It is all elementary really.”
“Staggering Holmes!” I responded. “I do not know how you do it.”
“It is not heavier-than-air aeronautical science Watson,” he replied.
“Aha!” I loudly exclaimed “ I perceive that that Adler person has paid you another visit”.
“Amazing Watson! How on earth did you deduce that?” Holmes asked.
“He has left behind his harmonica on the mantelpiece,” I explained smugly.
“So, you have been utilising my methods. Excellent old chap,” he said.
As I cheerfully tucked into my usual kippers and custard, Holmes put down his magnifying glass (he had been searching his dinner plate looking for the sausage he knew was there somewhere), leaned back in his chair and said: “Watson, after much studying of the case of the missing sugar, I deduce that we need to find someone who bears evidence of this particularly sticky substance.”
“Where on earth would we find such a person Holmes?

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